Dear Jack,

                    Your dear father recently informed me that you were to have a new sister in the autumn of this year. He also told me that you did not seem to be too happy at the prospect.

Now, I would be failing in my responsibilities if I did not advise you of the benefits that can accrue from this situation, and to guide you through how to handle the downsides.

When this little bundle of female joy arrives, both Mummy and Daddy will be very busy, and that by itself opens up all sorts of opportunities for mischief.

Try to look crestfallen and a bit unhappy, they will naturally feel guilty, and you need to maximise the opportunity to avail yourself of a few new presents that will keep you occupied and put that lovely smile back on your face. Complicated expensive presents should do the trick.

Now let me list some of the benefits of a sister:

She will not borrow your clothes.

She will probably not want to play with your toys. (They want dollies and yucky pink things.)

If you accidentally break things, (It Happens) You can blame her.

If you don't want your Broccoli and sprouts, you can sneak them on to her plate and tell on her for not eating her veggies.

Eventually her hair will grow long enough or you to give it a good yank if she is annoying you, just make sure your parents are out of the room.

There are many more benefits that will come your way but it is probably better if I do not put them in print.

I shall visit shortly and we can discuss them man to man.

I had better go now, Jack, as I am reorganising my sock drawer and I will have to find somewhere else for the spare lawnmower parts.

Much love

Grandpa Owain