Dear Harry,

So it's been a week since you've left. The worst week of my life. I can't even remember the last time I ate something. I've barely even been drinking water. It's like I'm not hungry anymore. Maybe I'm just too disgusted by myself that it's turned me off food.

I keep calling your phone but I keep getting your voicemail. I filled up your voicemail from all the times that I've called. I can't help it though, it's the only way for me to hear your voice.

I've lost count how many times I have tired calling you now. I call just to hear the "Sorry I can't come to phone right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you. All the love, H"

I will never quite understand why you leave a H at the end of it. They knew who they were calling, baby. I'll always love how infuriatingly annoying you could be sometimes. You would sometimes just drive me crazy but I would never want anyone else. I want you to annoy me for the rest of my life.

I know you probably wont ever answer the phone calls but it somehow makes me feel somewhat sane when I try to call. It just seems like a simple task. Something so simple that I wish more than anything to be real.

Niall keeps trying to take me out of the house to do things because he thinks it will would be a good idea to take my mind off things. But I can't leave the house because this was the very last place that I saw you. What if you come back while I'm gone?

I need you so badly, Harry. I'm so sorry. I just want to hold you. I hope one day you'll forgive me because without you, it's hell. It's literal hell. I don't know why I'm continuing to write this letters when I know that you'll probably never read them but it feels good to get some of these feelings out of my head and onto paper.

Yours sincerely,
                Louis Tomlinson