TRIGGER WARNING: DRUG USE

     Connor sat lazily in a plastic chair placed in a circle inside a brightly lit room. A woman with a bright, fake smile sat at the top of the circle and waved to Connor. He rolled his eyes, exhaling annoyed. He was at rehab, and it was "sharing time", like sharing your progress. Connor had smuggled in his stash so it didn't matter to him, and he spent his time instead playing with his boot laces. 

     "Alright, let's start with... Evan! You're new here, care to tell your story?" The woman spoke with a voice you would use for a child, and it made Connor cringe. He looked over to where the woman motioned and his eyes widened at seeing the new boy, he was much cuter than any of the other druggies around the center. 

     "I-I got ad-addicted... to me-meds for anx-anxiety..." Evan had an obvious stutter, but Connor continued to gaze at him with loving eyes. Evan was tapping his fingers on his chair nervously, wishing he had his pills with him. He made eye contact with a boy with long hair for a second, blushing and quickly looking back to the tile flooring.

    "Okay, it's good you're getting help. Anyone else want to share? Let's here from you Connor." The woman gave Connor a wicked smile, then relaxing back to normal. 

     "I still like weed." Connor said gruffly, getting up from his chair to leave. He felt he had participated enough and left abruptly. 

     "We'll get over that soon!" The woman called after him, sighing as she took a sip from her water bottle which Connor assumed was filled with alcohol. Evan watched the boy leave in awe, jealous of how confident he was. He threw a look to the woman before getting up slowly to scurry out the door as well. He caught up to Connor and slowed his pace down enough so they walked in tune to each other. Connor became rigid, looking down at the shorter boy next to him.

    "Don't be so scared of her. She's really a bitch, but she won't actually try to help you or anything." 

    "O-Oh okay... Th-Thanks..." Evan mumbled out, quickly smelling the weed on Connor's breath as he spoke. 

     "H-How'd you get it in?" 

    "Hm? Oh. It was easy. Stuck it in my boxers... They're polite enough here not to check there." He laughed softly as he ran a hand through his hair. 

    "W-Wish I'd thought of th-that..." 

    "Dude, no. Weed is one thing but some of those anxiety meds can be really dangerous... It's good if they can help you."

    "I'd ra-rather be dead honestly..." Evan smiled up to Connor, and Connor felt part of him hurt for the boy he had just met. He knew the feeling, it was the main reason he had gotten addicted to weed. It helped him forget about everything. 

    "Don't say that. You're gonna get better. I'm gonna help you, I don't want you to end up like me." Connor said with a determined edge in his voice. He had found one person that didn't seem to hate him and he wanted to be able to befriend Evan.

     "N-No! I ju-just want to get out of here... I want to d-die. Yo-You don't even know me so lea-leave me alone and I-I'll be able to go easily..."

    "Evan, if I can save anyones life I will. This place is shitty but it isn't worth dying over." 

     "B-But-"

     "Nope." Connor spoke with an edge to his voice that Evan hadn't picked up on before. He decided to just nod so he didn't have to speak anymore.

    "Wanna come over to my room?" Connor stated simply, trying to smile down to Evan. 

    "R-Really?"

     "No. I just said that so I could un-invite you to my room."

     "Oh So-Sorry..."

     "I'm kidding, come in you dork." Connor opened the white door on the side of the hallway to reveal another completely white room. The room consisted of a locked window, a bed, and a mini fridge. Evan noticed a Hamilton poster and his eyes lit up.

     "Y-You like Hamilton?" 

    "I fucking love Hamilton." Connor walked over to a small record player on top of the mini fridge and put on the disc for Hamilton act two.

    "I-It's so gay fo-for a musical about the fo-founding fathers" He looked over to Evan with a surprised expression. He wanted the boy sitting on his bed to be somewhat queer because he had started developing feelings for the other.

     "Oh so-sorry th-that was weird I'm sorry I'm sorry..." Evan started mumbling out quickly, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning against the bedpost. 

     "Chill, Evan. I'm gay so it's okay. Are you...?"

     "Pan. I l-like people." Evan murmured with a small smile, looking up to Connor with his eyes sparkling. Connor blushed deeply, then going to the window to fiddle with the lock and open it. He opened a drawer to reveal his stash he had been saving and rolled a joint and took out a lighter from his pocket.

    "Do you mind? You can have some." Evan shook his head, if he could get his hands on something to distract himself from everything going on in his head he would. Connor inhaled deeply, smiling as the sweet yet sickly scent filled the room. He took a hit before handing it to Evan slowly.

    "You ever had one?"

     "Y-Yea all th-the time..."

     "Okay so never. You might cough a little the first time but it'll get better. Here, just take a breath slowly..." Connor guided the joint to Evan's lips, and watched as the boy inhaled deeply. He quickly started coughing, falling into Connor's lap beside him. Connor took the joint back and continued to smoke it while Evan lay in his lap coughing. He rubbed his back, trying to comfort him as his coughing fit slow down. Evan quickly got up as his coughing stopped, blushing madly. 

    "So-Sorry... B-But it was good..." Evan felt dizzy in a good way. He gave Connor a goofy smile and put his hand on Connor's thigh to steady himself.

    "Yea... You're probably gonna be high if it's your first time. You feel safe, right?" Connor reassured, feeling himself sink deeper into a more high version of himself.

    "Mhmmm..." Evan rested his head on Connor's shoulder, smiling as he felt his thoughts become lighter. Connor sat so he had his arm behind Evan, supporting him as he finished smoking his joint. He dipped it in water to put it out and let himself fall backwards and pulled Evan down with him as they lie together on the bed. 

     "T-This feels... go-good... really good." Evan giggled a little, moving his body closer to Connor's as he gained the confidence from the drug taking over his brain.

     "It feels amazing. I can just... let go. It's not good but... it helps me forget about everything else. You don't feel like your gonna pass out, right?" Connor tried to keep Evan safe, because more than anything he wanted the other to be safe.

    "I-I feel fi-fine. Th-The stutters n-normal if you hadn't al-already noticed..."

     "It's kind of adorable, actually. You're really cute, Evan." Connor said in a daze, throwing his arm over the boys chest affectionately. Evan nervously took Connor's hand in his own, lacing his fingers with the others and offering a small smile. Connor gripped back on Evan's hand tightly.

    "Is thi-this okay?"

    "More than okay." Connor laughed, flipping over so he was lying his head on Evan's chest. Evan inhaled the sickly sweet smell of the weed on the boy and nuzzled his head into Connor's hair. 

     "I l-like yo-you..."

     "I like you too, Evan....?"

     "Evan Ha-Hansen."

     "Connor Murphy likes Evan Hansen." Connor said with a child's voice, rubbing Evan's thumb with his own. Evan blushed, hiding his face again. Connor sat up quickly as he heard a doorknob shake.

     "Shit shit shit... Hide this... Take one of these..." Connor threw his burnt out joint under his bed and he handed Evan a breath mint. Evan chewed on it as he nervously sat on the bed watching Connor rush around. The door burst open, revealing the woman from earlier.

     "Murphy that better not be weed." She hissed at Connor, walking over to slam the window shut.

     "So what if it is? We both know I'm not getting out of here anytime soon." 

     "I'd appreciate it if you would at least try! And poor Evan... You've influenced him with your ways! Don't tell me you made him like you." She spoke with a voice that could cut through someone.

     "What? I made him queer? Of course. Within the time that I've known him, which isn't very long, I've made him a bit homosexual." Connor snapped at the woman, standing in front of Evan defensively as she tried to grab him.

     "M-Ma'am? I-I was re-really queer be-before I got to this d-dump." Evan stated quietly, Connor looking back and smiling at the other. The woman looked outraged, pushing Connor aside and grabbing Evan by the arm harshly.

     "You're coming with me. Let's go to your new room." The woman smiled innocently, pulling Evan with force out the door.

     "L-Let go of me..." He whispered, watching Connor storm out of his room after the woman. He shoved her off of Evan, taking Evan into his own embrace and slamming his door in the woman's face. 

     "Open the fucking door Murphy!" 

     "Don't think so. Now go away so you don't interrupt our homo sex." Connor yelled back at her, smirking as he held Evan close to his body. Evan giggled, hearing the woman stomp away.

     "She's a homophobic bitch. Sorry I didn't mention that before."

      "I-It's fine... Th-Thanks..." Evan said, breathing heavily. He reached up to put his hand on Connor's chest and tilting his head with his eyes closed towards Connor's head. Connor was shocked, but he held his hand under Evan's chin and kissed him. Evan tasted the heavy weed on Connor, smiling into the kiss. Connor moved against Evan, grinding his hips against Evan a little. Evan moaned a little, exhaling the soft smell of weed. Evan took Connor's lip in his mouth, biting down a little. Connor put his hands on Evan's hips, squeezing them in his hands as they stumbled over to the bed. 

     "You're hot, Hansen."

     "N-No..."

      "Shh. You're fucking hot." Connor whispered with a naughty smile, kissing Evan again as he pressed his body closer to Evan's. Evan grabbed onto Connor's sides, scratching his fingers down his back as he moaned into the kiss. Both of their legs were entangled in each other, Connor and Evan continuing to grind on each other. Connor stopped to put his hands on Evan's pants, looking up to him with a look for confirmation in his eyes. Evan opened his mouth as if to say yes, but he thought better of himself and shrunk away from Connor.

      "Ma-Maybe when we're no-not both high...? If th-that's okay..."

     "I understand, and of course. Can't wait." Connor spoke quickly, kissing the area at the top of Evan's pants. Evan smiled, leaning his head back as Connor kissed softly up his stomach.

     "We'll get out of here Evan. I promise." Connor whispered against Evan's chest.

     "D-Don't leave me," Evan murmured, holding Connor's shoulders in his arms. Connor leaned up to kiss Evan softly, looking deep into his eyes.

     "I won't. You're staying with me as long as we're here... And as long as you want to." 

      "I want to. I re-really like you, Con..." Connor held Evan tightly, protecting his boy.

     "I'll keep you safe from her. I'll fight for you." 

//

a.n: annd im ending it w a heathers/hamilton quote i hate this sm but enjoy