Dear journal,

Me and Becka have a lot in common, we're both an only child, we both like dark colours, and be both hate it here at Lakeside. She said she moved to Lakeside when she was 10, her dad got a promotion, and her mom got fired. Her family moved to where they could get better job options. Apparently her hair used to be dark brown before she died it black, then red, then purple and at this moment her hair is pink. I wish I could dye my hair, if I did my mom would have a heart attack, she nearly fainted when I first got my ears pierced. Not just with one piercing but a bunch. I got helix piercings, industrial piercings, rook piercings, lobe piercings, basically all of them now. But first I got helix piercings and she totally flipped. It's not like their all permanent, I can take them out eventually. I also wanna dye my hair, maybe black instead of boring old brown. Maybe blue streaks. Becka said she could do it since she dyes her own hair, but I said no, because of my mom. I care a lot about my mom, I'd do anything for her. Becka says she hates her parents, I only hate one of mine. The one who hurt my mom. Richard Cromwell.

The guy was a drunk, could barely stand on his own two feet most of the time. I always had to help him do everything since he was never sober enough to do it on his own. He always stunk like booze and cigars. I promised myself I would never drink for my mom, I never want to end up like Richard.
I had a supply on wed since Ms.Lucinda had something teachers here call back to school meetings where they discuss things about the curriculum or some shît like that, never heard of teachers doing that anywhere else, especially during the first week of school. But today, today what I worried that would happen, happened. I was just about to leave art class for lunch when Ms.Lucinda pulled me aside.
Becka walked out of the door but five seconds later realized I wasn't following her, she walked back into class and asked what was with the hold up. Ms.Lucinda told her to wait outside for me. Now I was really confused.

I sighed. "Ok, what did I do wrong now?" Getting pulled aside by a teacher was nothing new to me, usually I did something to piss them off without realizing it.

"Oh my beautiful child." I raised my eyebrow. "You did nothing wrong." What? So she's wasting my precious time for nothing?!

"Oh, well if that's the case I'll be heading to history class, I'm not tryna be late."

"I'll call your history teacher and tell them you'll be a bit late." I saw Becka who was standing out side the door roll her eyes and mouth the words 'got to go' and she started heading to history without me.

"Fine, what do ya want with me?"

"Marcus was it?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"I've been a bit concerned about your behaviour."

"Concerned about my behaviour? You've been my teacher for only three days, isn't it a bit early to be judging how I act?" Usually at parent teacher interviews they say only a couple of weeks with a student is too soon to judge them. I've known her for less than 3 days!

"Yes yes, but I'm concerned about you, emotional state." Shit, she's gonna go all soft on me and make me talk about my feelings. "During our group circle you said you like nothing about yourself, and you drew this lovely but horrifying picture of your grave. Is their something going on in your life Marcus?"

"Unfortunately I've got nothing interesting going on in my life." Just boring class, homework I don't understand half the time, always surrounded by people I hate.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure." I said getting annoyed with her already.

"You know, Marcus, I've studied not just art, but psychology. If you ever need to talk, I also used to be a guidance counsellor." Ugh! Oh no! I hate guidance counsellors! Their always all like "how does that make you feeeel".

"Ok thanks, but I'm fine so I'll be leaving."

"Oh, ok. But if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me."

Great! Now she thinks I'm depressed. Which I am, but I don't need her to know that!
There's a depression that comes with being bullied and being surrounded by homophobic people all your life.

I walked into my history class and my teacher yelled at me for being late. What the hell? Ms. Lucinda said she would call her. I explained to her that my art teacher held me back and Becka even backed me up telling her that she was there and I was telling the truth.
Not even a minute later she got the call from ms. Lucinda who told her I'll be late. Then she apologized and went back to teacher the class. Which only made me more pissed because she yelled at me and caused a scene for nothing.

Anyways, I've got to go, mom just burned our dinner and now I gotta order us a pizza.