Dear Diary,

Well, I have been shocked in more ways than one since I last wrote.

I called my parents so that I could hear their voices one more time just in case the worst should happen. My mom was telling me about a new tea shop that opened up in the mall and how much she likes their spicy chai. When she told me the shop's name, I laughed. I'd bought her tea from there many times before, and I reminded her of that. She laughed and told me that she knew that, but since she hadn't been there before, it was new to her and very exciting. She filled me in on what the neighbours were up to; apparently they're building an even higher fence than the one before. Mom is worried if she should be insulted that they feel the need to hide themselves away behind such a big fence (what? Do they think we spy?). I had to remind her of the saying 'good fences make good neighbours' and that the new fence is probably because they are getting something that needs more privacy or height, like a hot tub or a dog. I guess this was too logical of an answer for her, because I was summarily handed over to my father.

My dad told me about the new birds that have come back after the winter. It was nice to hear him just talk. I can't tell a nuthatch from a chickadee, and he knows this, but it was still nice to hear him describe their antics. There is apparently a stellar jay that raids the feeder of all the peanuts and bullies the other birds who are trying to eat them. It seemed all too soon that I was saying my goodbyes. After the goodbyes I went to the settings of my cell phone and took the password lock off of my phone and put the phone and charger with the rest of the stuff for Alt-me.

I walked past the bank of photos on the credenza in the hall and saw my parents' wedding photo. I took it out of the frame and stuck it in my hoodie pocket without a second thought and continued on to the room where I was keeping the device. I didn't want to sit around and wonder if it was going to work. I wanted to just do it now while I have the memory of my parents' voices fresh in my head.

I opened the small cube freezer where I was keeping the bag of ice for this day and poured it into the iron vat below where the device was resting. I made sure that the vat was sitting on a wooden plank and that the smoke detector was working. If this worked and Alt-me ended up unconscious in this room and something went wrong... Well, I didn't want them to end up dying from a fire or smoke inhalation.

I sat down on the chair beside where the device was resting and switched it on. I heard a high-pitched whine begin to emit from the toaster body.  A slight golden glow was emitting from where the heating coils would ordinarily be, but instead two miniscule rods of iridium were resting in their place. I smiled and put the crystals into the beach glass cup and put the ferrite 'mood' gem in its place on the maglev.

Now, for the shocking part.

I turned the dial on the toaster to dark and depressed the lever. Immediately my vision went dark and I felt a burning electric jolt run from fingertip to toe and my mind went blank; that is, I didn't lose consciousness. I lost all ability to think or even comprehend what was going on. I wasn't even able to wonder if this is what dying was like. Then, from the dark an immensely, intensely, brilliantly bright dot of light appeared on the horizon and I had the oddest sense of vertigo. It felt like the dot was about to collide with me like a bullet through a melon. I didn't even have a moment to flinch and as soon as I felt scared I fell through a tree and onto a bed and then let out an 'eep!' that I tried to shove back into my mouth with my hands. I just lay there still. Shocked. Amazed. Then I gasped in pain as the toaster body of the device fell from above and hit me on the knee.

I looked around the room. It was quite dark, but that might not mean anything. In the game Obey Me, they mention many times that the Devildom does not have a sun and that even during the day it's quite dark out. I ran my eyes along the walls and flat surfaces, but I did't find any evidence of a clock. I just hoped that it was late out. The bed was rumpled when I landed, so I also hoped that Alt-me was in bed when she disappeared. The door was closed, so that's a safe assumption.

I picked up the device, still laying on the bed from when it smoked me on the knee and looked around to see if I could find a convenient place to hide it, just as an insurance policy. I noticed that the room's layout is very similar, if not identical, to the room in the game. The door that is slightly ajar is an ensuite bathroom that is far more luxurious than any I've ever seen in my life. There's a wardrobe just outside of that. On another wall is what looks like a walk in closet. There's also a chest of drawers and a desk. A huge flat screen is mounted on another wall by a curtained window and there's a sofa, chaise, and overstuffed armchair clustered around it that I want to just sink into and relax. There isn't a vanity table full of makeup and other fru-fru stuff. I let out a huge, but quiet, sigh. It seems that Alt-me isn't a girly-girl either. I open the wardrobe and notice that it's full of T-shirts, jeans, sweats, and hoodies all in styles that I love to wear, and I smile and think that Alt-me must really be my doppelganger. I closed the wardrobe and move to the bathroom. I knelt down and opened up the cupboard under the sink to stow the device behind the drain pipe. Not many people would think to look back there for something important. I moved some cleaning supplies in front of it so it looks more natural yet better camouflaged.

I stood up and moved to the chest of drawers to change into something for bed when I hear a creak and I spun around. There was a little creature about the size of a ferret standing inside the wardrobe. It is humanoid in shape, coal black, with a slim barbed tail. The creature is wearing a shiny black satin top hat with what looks to be a yellow silk ribbon around it and it's holding a shiny gold disc in its hand. I know what this little creature is. This is a Little D. The Little D must have sensed me watching him (her?) because they froze and turned to look at me. I didn't move. The Little D looked at me suspiciously and cocked its head as if to ask what I was doing there, then it smiled and phased out of the room. This made me nervous. I wasn't ready to see anybody yet.

I was right to be nervous. Not a moment later I hear loping footsteps come down the hall at a fast pace while a not quite successful voice whisper screamed a muffled "Oi! ---a Tarb sa-s ya --t" which finishes much clearer with "a girl in there!" as none other than Mammon bursts in the room uninvited. I ended up just a little bit squished having run to the door at the first sound of Mammon's voice, trying to reach the door ahead of him so I could lock it, but it flew open and knocked me into the wall first. I sat there very quietly hoping he would go away once he saw the room was empty. If only my luck were that good.

The first thing he did was shut the door and turn around to turn on the light once he saw the room was dark. Once the room was brightly lit, he saw me and jumped back so far he landed on the bed, pulled the covers over himself and shrieked higher than I had ever heard any little girl scream. Now, that caused a bunch more doors to slam open and a bunch more feet to come thudding down the hall. I got wise to my situation and quickly stood and moved sideways a few steps. Mammon was still peeking at me from under the covers like I was some massive spider eagerly waiting to tear him to pieces. I just stood there silently, waiting to see what was going to happen.

I thought that the electric shock from the device would be the biggest shock of my day. That, or having a hot toaster fall from nowhere and smack into my knee. But no. Those were mild surprises compared to what happened when the herd of prematurely woken, half naked demon men came storming into my room.

But that will have to wait until tomorrow. I am nothing if not tired after the thorough interrogation I just went through at the hands of not only Lucifer, but also Diavolo and two dukes from his military. They wanted to make sure that I wasn't from some opposing faction sent to spy on him, and I believe not even Thomas de Torquemada* could have questioned me more thoroughly. We will just say that I am glad that the exchange program is still on and that there are people here who can heal humans effectively and quickly. That being said, I'm told I met Simeon!

As Always,

Clarissima sidera lucent ex nihilo

*One of the founding members of the Spanish Inquisition.