Dear diary 9

Dear diary ,

It's been weeks since I last saw natsu,lisanna and the group it's actually Been weeks since I last went to school after that incident I stopped going all my friends were worried. They called and called and I didn't pickup .

Natsu came often no more like everyday with his now official girlfriend . How I know easy levy sent me messages sine she knew I didn't have the courage to speak I could write she sent me notes and all there was to know about school . When the couple came I didn't open the door and left them at the porch I didn't find the courage to see them both together happy my tears will fall by themselves and I can't cry not infringe of them I have to be happy for both of my friends .

But I'm not I'm so selfish right?

This afternoon when I was on my bed all weak and tired my phone rang must be levy or natsu anyway it must be one of our friends .

When I looked at the caller ID it's was Mavis!!!!

I completely forgot about her and my tumor I picked it up "hello"

"Lucy? Omg do you know how many times I called you theses days why weren't you picking up ?!"

"Sorry Mavis I had some problems these days "

"Hmmm let me guess love problems?"

"Yes precisely why did you call "

"Lucy Renee I gave you 1 week to decide and now it's been almost a month this time I want you to know that your tumor is on the last stage and in the last moments you don't have a long time left"

"How many days do I have left"

"We have to do the tests again to know your symptoms I'll write you down right away are you free right now ?"

"Yes I have nothing to do "

"Great come here we'll talk more about your brain cancer "

With that the call ended I had a quick shower and when I looked myself in the mirror I was shocked I was so skinny well of course I'll be I didn't eat this the couple incident but I also noticed that I was losing some of my hair these past few days .

I rushed at the hospital and met Mavis we entered the check up room and she did what she had to do .

"So Lucy......... I'm afraid that you tumor grows day after day you .....only have 2 weeks left honey I'm so sorry "

I was shocked 2WEEKS HOW DID OT BECOME LIKE THAT !!!!!!

"I-I see before you told everyone that I could be saved right?"

"Yes but that was when your tumor was small and you were on Stage 3 now your currently on stage 4 the last stage . That's why I told you to think about it before a week past I tried to call you to remember but you did t answer your phone .

This is all my fault if I stopped crying over natsu I would've done the operation I was ready to do it until I saw them you know kissing .

"I see "

"Lucy there's a solution but you have to listen carefully ok?"

"Ok"

"There's a slight chance we can save you and for that you'll be operated BUT the operation has 20% of working the other 80% are you dying you se we can proceed the operation but nothing tell us that you'll wake up but if you do you might lose your memories there's lots of possibilities

1:you can survive with a amnesia

2:you can die

3:you can live but be paralyzed and that'll make you suffer cause you'll have lots of second affects

4: you can survive without anything happening but that's 10% sure no one had that's effect

Now it's your choice you can do the operation and live with these 4 options or you can decide to let it go with time and will inject you with some morphine to help ease the pain so what do you decide ?"

"I-I don't known what to chose "

"It's your decision but you don't have enough time "

"Let me think for a few minutes "

"Okay "

And with that she left the room leaving me alone . What shall I do if I chose the operation there's 10% of a chance that I'll live without the second effects and if I do the operation and I get paralyzed or even get an amnesia .I'll just suffer and if I don't agree with the operation I'll die .

I lost my mother then I lost Virgo,my father and now natsu I don't think I'll be happy if I live in becoming the girl I
Once used to be and I'm scared I decided I won't do the operation I don't want to live . Not anymore ....

"Mavis ...... I decided.."

"So what's your decision?"

"I won't to the operation I don't want to live and suffer for the rest of my life losing people I live and losing myself I can't accept it. If I die I'll at least join my family and lost ones I'll be happy for eternity. That's what I want "

"If it's really what you Chose I'll agree with your decision Lucy "

"Thanks Mavis "

Well that's all for today diary I only have 2 weeks left or less to live see you soon diary

Love Lucy heartfilia xxx

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