Dear diary,

I remember when I fell asleep for a lifetime..... Well that's what I thought ... I saw my mother for the first time and let me tell you that she's the most beautiful human there is .

My father was right I look like her the same eyes and features. I got to hug her  .

We cried for hours we talked about life and she told me how she was always there near me she never let me out of her sight just then Virgo came . I ran to her arms which welcomed me without hesitation and behind her was my .... Father ..... But something in him seemed different.

His eyes showed guilt and sadness not like how he was when he was alive which was cold and all the light vanishes he was empty but now he looked ....... Like a loving father the one I saw in the photograph of our family .

I ran on his arms and we stayed like that for a good 15 minutes until mum broke us apart she showed me what was down our feet . When I concentrated I noticed natsu screaming my name while I was on the hospital bed lifeless it broke my heart seeing him like this but I couldn't do a thing to change it .

"Lucy you see that men down there ? Can you see how heartbroken he is if your leaving his side ?" My mother asked .

"Mum he's not lonely he has lisanna and what do you mean if I leave him cause I already did".

"You don't understand honey us three saw the stars in his eyes when he looks at you or how happy he is when he's by your side but now ..... Look"

My mother pointed how angry he was I wished I never saw that but I did and I'm starting to regret choosing to end my life rather then fight this fucking illness .

"There's nothing I can do about it ..... I left him broken .... I left them broken " my tears flowed one by one I had enough these days I keep on crying .

"Hime you can always go back there "

"Virgo I already told you to call me Lucy and not home"

Then her words struck me like lightning. 

"What do you mean I can go back? Don't be ridiculous it's impossible"

"Lucy Virgo is right you can go back its your choice " my father said  sending me hope .

"How can I ?"

"Close your eyes and hope for it and when you open them you'll be there "

My mother said with a hug I felt warmth all over my body .

I closed them and that's when I realized .......

"But I won't see you guys again ........... How can I live if your not there with me ...... By my side ...... I'll be lonely....... Again.. "

"Ssh ssh we'll always be with you " mum pointed at my heart

"And we'll watch you from here what ever you do well be there with you "

Virgo said with her kind smile that she always did .

"Oh and Lucy I don't want to see you here until your married , had kids at least 10 and old then you'll become grandma a bad live a long life after that maybe I'll want to see you here but don't give up on life and One last thing Lucy when your back in real life go where my assistant is she'll give you something okay ?"

"Yes father " I nodded . They hugged me for the last time we did a group hug while I was squished in The middle of them 3 .

I was finally ready I closed my eyes and wished hard to see natsu even if he's already taken I don't care I have to see him I felt as if I was flying and when I opened my eyes ...... I was in his arms .

Of course I was weak and I learned that my tumor was gone so basically I'm cured I also learned that they saw my diary and they cried a pool of tears and when I wanted to write my day I saw the pages of Mavis and natsu they made me cry hours .

I forgave Mavis of course and plus I was thankful for her corporation as for natsu I can't wait to see him tomorrow now that I know how he really feels and who he really loves makes me feel happy but also guilty for ........ Ending my life just for a misunderstanding ...... stupid self .

Well that's all for now .

Love Lucy heartfilia xxx