Dear diary,

Today my father came home drunk again and as always when he puts one feet through the door he starts to throw his alcohol bottles on the wall .
Our maid Virgo tried to calm him down even when I told her so many times that he'll never listen and will hurt her if she tried to stop him she never listened and this time she went in front of him .

Every thing went in slow motion my father with a bottle in his hands ,Virgo who tried to grab his arm to stop him , the bottle smashing on her head ,her body falling on the cold floor with a pool of blood .

I couldn't believe what was happening I wanted to wake up from this nightmare my only one who kept me alive was on the blooded floor .

She didn't move a muscle or even opened her eyes I knew from then that Virgo the person I love the most was dead in front of me .

My tears stained my face of course I couldn't keep my voice down ,I ran to her holding her bleeding head on my lap her blood stained my night gown but I couldn't care less Virgo was more important.

I checked her pulse having a hope inside of me that she'll wake up or at least breath and have a pulse but nothing I felt nothing her heart wasn't beating, her eyes were closed , her breath flew away like wind and her heart stopped .

I cried from sobbing to screaming my dad who was in front of us sitting on the sofa drinking was just staring as if nothing happened I hate him he killed my last hope for living my last hope for felling the love of some one he killed her .

My scream came louder and louder after every scream I think I shouted touch or even to loud anyway it made my father angry he suddenly got of the sofa and stomped his way near us.

I saw in his hands another empty bottle of alcohol which he threw near me luckily I ducked my head making the bottle hit the wall behind me into a million pieces of glass our whole floor in the living room was filled with pieces of broken glass .

I saw he eyes there were cold ,empty and raging with anger I got scared I knew what will happen next and just like I thought he grabbed me by my hair and threw me across the other side of the living room making my body piercing with glass pieces I couldn't hold my tears having the pain of losing my loved one and the pain of the glass planted all over my body was unbearable.

My father shouted mean words like "why do you resemble her so much","why are you screaming over a useless corpse " ,"you piece of shit", "your nothing but a little bitch" and lots more .

Of course his words did hurt but I'm so used to it that I didn't care anymore.

But what he said didn't stop my tears from falling my lost was something I couldn't bare with the pain was awful no words can explain it .

I knew that if I still kept crying or even let my tears fall ill be punished and that was what happened he pulled me up from my hair and smashed my body on the wall while he shouted

"I told you to stop crying over that useless corpse you filthy bitch "
When he noticed that another tear fell he slapped me hard that sent my face almost flying of my body I bet I had a mark or even a bruise .

But I was useless like always I couldn't move ,speak,run or even talk back I was scared and empty minded I saw blank I didn't know what to do to free myself from this living hell.

My father didn't stop until my tears stop and like my body wouldn't listen to me my tears fell one by one .

My whole body was aching and I fell on the ground almost lifeless well emotionally I was but physically I was just hurt.

I received punches,kicks,slaps,pieces of glass and hurtful words like I said I'm used to it I almost didn't feel the pain I grew with it but all those times Virgo was there to stop him and make him leave me alone .

But now she's not here anymore so no one can stop him if I'm lucky i might die in these seconds if I'm lucky I'll leave this hell and join Virgo where ever she is .

I didn't move and my father was about to take a broken bottle and stab me with it .

That's it it's over it's finished I'm gonna leave this hell I'll join mother and Virgo I'll get to see them again and never leave their side .

I never saw my mother since she died when she gave birth to me and I always had this guilty feeling that  the one who killed my mother of course my father thought the same thing that's why he hates me so much because not only did I kill her but I also took her features,her looks,her voice,her heart and her kindness which made my dad even madder them he used to be the only thing I have from him is his eyes .

Virgo always told me that my father wasn't like this when my mother was alive he was sweet,kind,caring and a loving father I couldn't believe at first until she showed me a family picture it showed my mother with a bump on her belly and my father has his hand on her stomach while his other arm was on my mothers waist  Virgo said they took that photo when she was 8 months pregnant  of me .

I saw my father he was smiling in that picture I really wanted to meet that men and inside of me i had hope that one day his caring side will come back .

So that's why whenever he abuses me I'll never call the police or give up I have hope that one day he'll come back that's his love and care will be back .

As I snapped out of my thoughts I saw my father stopped from almost stabbing me with a half broken bottle I heard a knock on the door and I panicked what if it's the police they'll bring my father in jail I can't let that happen not until I bring his real self back its my duty to do so .

My father took Virgo and hid her in the garden while I walked or tried to walk in my room I had to climb stairs and it was s pain in the ass when I moved .

When I went inside I heard my father opened the door I heard a faint voice but i never knew what that person said or asked I heard the door close and I quickly looked over my widow and I Saw a guy he's back facing me he had pink hair and from his back I could tell he was maybe my age or 2 years older then me .

I tried to take as much of the glass that was planted in me then took a not hot nor cold shower and changed my stained  clothes .

Well that's all for today diary another dreadful moment I shared with you goodnight .

Love Lucy heartfilia xxx