"Oh my word, fuck fuck fuck you look beautiful !!" Angie squealed with excitement. "With blonde hair you were gorgeous but right now my friend, in this moment you look beautiful. This is the Zaneh you have been hiding from me ever since we met-" She muttered faintly. I had asked her to help me dye my hair back to its normal color, i needed to do this. I was living a lie, this was who I am and it's who I will always be even if people didn't like it. I didn't have to impress anyone, Zaneh with her jet black hair is who I really am. It brought so many memories, not so happy memories. It reminded me of how this Zaneh could never be enough-

it reminded me of the girl that I used to be.

I sighed.

My hazel brown eyes were even much brighter and bold because of my black hair. I looked at the girl who was looking directly towards me, I didn't want to be broken or to hate anyone anymore or plan some stupid revenge, i just wanted to be me, the girl who was okay with being a loser.

"What do you think ?" Angie asked curiously since I had not said a word.

"I look okay." I smiled faintly.

"Zaneh, you are beautiful in and out. I don't know the things that Zayn and Harry used to say to you in high school but all I know is that they were wrong. All I know is that you intimidated them to the point that they felt the need to break your self esteem for their own self motivation. You want to start over right ? this is it. This is you -taking- that step and I'm beyond proud of you. You don't want to remember your college days as this girl who was overly confident in blonde hair but not her own skin. Self love will always be your first love." She said rubbing circles on my back. I felt like tearing up, i felt a faint cry from my heart. The girl stared back at me, she wasn't so bad. She was actually beautiful, i smiled. I liked her, I really liked her and she was me.

"I love it, i look naturally beautiful." I smiled.

"She is even more beautiful with a smile on her face." Angie mustered with a quirky grin.

"Yeah, thanks for everything. I should really get to my first class." I said standing up from the dressing table mirror.

"If you happen to see -he who shall not be named- just know that it's okay that he didn't like you like this." Angie said softly.

"Well I think if he see's me like this, his obsession will die out and then we can all live in peace." I said grabbing my toiletries.

"Or he will fall much harder." She chuckled and I simply rolled my eyes.

-

I was almost late for my class due to the fact that I couldn't find my hair dryer and Angie left hers in Cali so I had to borrow the girls who stayed in the dorm next to ours. I prayed Harry wouldn't attend his classes. I prayed he would go back to taking the late class. I prayed we wouldn't have to see each other again but I guess I didn't pray hard enough because he was right there sitting on his very same spot. He looked flawless as always, the bruises from his fight with Zayn had disappeared in a blink of an eye.

"Zaneh-" Lukas my study mate approached me. "Hey-" I'm said not really excited about seeing anyone after this whole summer break. In that moment Harry's eyes were on me, we made eye contact before I shifted my eyes to something else.

"There's a frat party tonight, wanna come with ?" He asked and I shrugged. "No, i can't."

"Oh that's cool." He said with a a glint of being hurt. I could feel Harry burning holes in my back.

-

Thankfully the lecture ended earlier than I expected. I was the first to come out not wanting to see Harry, Literature was telling only module we shared. Luckily he didn't follow me..

My phone rang reviewing a unknown number, i don't usually answer but I just decided to answer this one.

"Zaneh ?" The person said from the other end of the call.

"Uhm Hello." I said walking down the campus.

"It's Harry's mom, I'm in New York and he hasn't been answering my calls do you by any chance know where I might find him ?" She asked, i didn't know why I was the first person she had to call, he obviously had friends.

"I honestly don't know-" I replied trying to hold my books, my laptop bag and my phone on the left ear.

"Do you mind meeting up for coffee ?"
She said catching me off guard.

"I just came out of class right now, did I do something wrong ?" I asked clearly curious.

"Oh nothing, I just thought we could catch up." She replied.

"Anne, if you want to know what's going on between your son and I. Well there is nothing, I broke it off not that it was even a thing." I said out of the blue.

"Let's just meet sweetheart, i will text you the details." With that she hanged up, i mentally wanted to slap myself for letting her persuad me.

I sighed.