"Immature love says, i love you because I need you. Mature love says, I need you because I love you." - Erich Fromm

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The night was splendid, than the bumpy start I had with Anne. I don't know how but she suddenly liked me. After her speech the main course was served, a few colleagues and friends of Anne said small speeches about how she faced her depression and how hard it was to see her in that state. I wondered if Harry was going to say something but he didn't. He admitted that he didn't want to. "Speeches are not my thing love. Remember how I sucked at public speaking even in high school." He chuckled lowly.

It felt weird. I think I cared more than I would like to admit. I wanted to see him happy all the time even a slight frown on his face made me frown. I hated that I was slowly going to the place I had avoided for so long and I wasn't going to allow that. I was going to ignore any sort of funny feelings I was having. It's temporarily. They will go away, it's better to be safe than sorry.

As they served dessert, i talked to Harry's mom. We had even better conversations now. She smiled genuinely, i really think if I ever fall inlove. I would have ended up like her...DESTROYED. I met some of Harry's close and distant relatives they all seemed so supportive. The event was amazing there was alot of laughter. Suicide survivors also gave some heart warming speeches about their journey and honestly I felt like something inside me had changed. I really felt like I wanted to be apart of this organization. I wanted to help people who were going through all this out there. I realised my depression was caused by a boy and that's absolute nonsense because some people out there have bigger issues to worry about. At that moment I appreciated my life, my parents who love me dearly even my brother that isn't so great at showing his feelings and a friend who has been there for me and liked me for who I was.

"Finally to end our evening we will be playing a slide show of the beloved souls we couldn't save." The event co-ordinate said with a grim frown. I think his name was Garreth, he was way to cozy with Anne although she laughed it off and said he was just her manager. Harry didn't seem to notice either. I felt Harry's hand travel under the table looking for mine until he finally clasped my small hand into his. It didn't feel foreign, infact it felt normal, i felt safe more than anything.

Suddenly the lights switched off as the projector started the slide show. I wasn't one to cry but the song that was playing made it very emotional. I didn't know the song but it made feel uneasy.

"It's been a long day, without you my friend but I will tell you all about it when I see you again."

A picture of a boy with Sandy brown hair, he had a cute smile. Below was written the name Cory Harmon 1996 - 2014. A gasp was heard from the left side of the hall, followed by sobs. It was probably the family and I felt nothing but horrible for them. Harry sensed my uneasiness, he gave my hand a slight squeeze. I breathed in trying to not shed a tear because the atmosphere was just deluding.

"I will tell you all about it when I see you again.." The song echoed and another picture appeared.

A picture of a girl with Lively, bright green eyes, spiky black hair and a charming smirk. She was dressed in boyish clothes. My heart felt confined as I heard more sobs in the dark as the projector went on. Right below the picture was written Alyson Dyer 1999 - 2015. I laid my head on Harry's chest , i could feel every heart beat he took. I couldn't help the water works from quietly escaping each eye. The slide show went on and on. It was sad.

Finally a picture of a handsome young man with dark skin and a mischievous smirk appeared. I felt Harry gasp, it was almost as if he was about to jump off his seat. He's breathing became heavy and I sat up straight so I could look at the screen nicely.

Below the picture was written Malcom Carti Johnson 1994 - 2016. Harry had finally had enough he abruptly stood up and left the room. Out of instinct I ran after him, he was taking long strides and my heels weren't helping. When I was about to reach the door out of the event, Harry's mom held my wrist.

"I think he needs to be alone." She gave a tight smile.

"But-" i was cut off.

"He needs to come to terms with this. I told you Harry had been through alot and it's time he faced his past." She said sadly.

"He needs someone." I whispered. "Who is Malcom ?" I questioned.
"I don't think it's in my place to tell you that darling, Harry will tell you." She smiled weakly. It made me even more curious. "He needs you more than ever go talk to him." She pushed me towards the door and I took this opportunity to remove my heels and run towards the only place I could think of....THE PARKING LOT.

I ran as fast as I could holding the side of my dress in one hand. I was really hoping he hadn't left but would he leave without me.

My heart felt relieved when I saw him leaning against his car. I was shocked because out of all the years I had known Harry he never smoked. Zayn and the boys would always smoke back in high school but he never did. I'm not sure about the two years we weren't talking but I was sure he never smoked but right now he was.

"Harry." I said walking towards the car. "Are you okay ?" I asked standing beside him coughing a bit because of the smoke.

"I'm bloody fine, just go away." He yelled and I almost flinched the old Harry from high school seemed to have come back.

"I'm not going away, you need me." I pressed.

"Well you should because I do not want to fucking talk to you. Bloody Hell." He breathed out more smoke in my face, holding a blunt on the other.

"Harry.." I touched his arm.

"Do. not. Harry. Me." He said his voice getting deep with anger. I let go feeling a feeling of fear creep down my spine.

I sighed feeling defeated and walked back to the event, he suddenly pulled me back.

"I'm sorry Zaneh." He sighed stepping on his lit blunt as it died out. He looked me in the eyes and I saw how vulnerable he looked. "Just go back in there and I will follow in just a few minutes." He explained as he leaned down to kiss me but I let out a shaky love.

"You stink Harry." Our lips were almost touching and it made my stomach flutter with butterflies.

"I'm sorry love, i want to kiss you so bad." He's lips grazed over mine. He pulled me close to his chest, in that moment we did nothing but hug. I stood on my tippy toes hugging him like my life depended on it. He needed me at that moment but I would get answers later.

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