Dear Boo,

First off, I absolutely love that name, it's beautiful, and I'm not sure why I like it so much. <3
Either way, I just had a few questions I wanted to ask you, I'm not sure if these are real questions, or just me being... whiny..?

I love my Mum, she's amazing and beautiful in every way possible but...she's...scary, I guess. She's constantly screaming at either me or my brother.
I dunno if I should have this fear or if I'm just annoying everybody with this, but the screaming scares me. Loud noises hurt my ears really bad and make me wanna cry.
I'm being whiny for this huh?

Then we add my dad into the mix. He's never really been there in my life I guess, he left for over half my life and is just now trying to make a comeback and be the father of the year. His parents are like stalker material 101. Anyway, he's got a girlfriend and shes fine I guess to me. But what did he do? He was stupid and got her pregnant, my sister. She's about 10 months old.
I love her, but I don't wanna get attached...and I already have. He just went a month without seeing us and it killed me not to see her. I love her but y'know? He's just going to fuck us all over in the long run again.

I'm not sure what I want to do about everything, I feel like I'm just slowly letting myself slip into the world of my mom yelling at me that I'm stupid then 5 minutes later acting like she's my best friend? It doesn't help I'm practically living in and out of the hospital at this point. She gets mad if I don't hear her, but I'm practically deaf in one ear, so? What does she expect me to do when she tells halfway across the house at me? I'm generally okay with getting admitted to the hospital at this point, even if I know it just means I'm getting worse and I'll just die in a few more years. Gotta hate it but oh well.
I'm not even sure what to do at this point, hospitals aren't even safe for me anymore, what am I supposed to do?

Much love,
Alizée*

🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞

Dear Alizée*,

Hi, dear! Thank you for writing a letter to me and trusting me with everything you're going through. Boo is the nickname I've had since I was one year old. I was trying to think of a title for this and “Dear Boo” automatically came to mine it seemed very natural. I'm glad you like it.

You're not being whiny! If something is bothering you, then it's not whining. It's a feeling that it's real and it matters. Validation of how you're feeling is important, so don't let anyone tell you that your feelings are not valid.

When someone thinks of an amazing mother, screaming should not be one thing that comes up. Does she only scream when something is overwhelming her or when you and your brother are in trouble? Do you notice things that trigger her into this mood?

If she screams for no reason at all, she may have some type of anger management issues, mood disorder, or even a personality disorder. Anger can hide as many things without you realizing it. No matter what this isn't okay, she shouldn't scream at you! Start paying attention to small things she does to see if she has any other symptoms with will be included below.

Have you ever heard of Misophonia? It's a strong reaction to specific sounds—loud noises and screaming can be included in that. Symptoms may include fear of loud sounds, irritation, and/or depression when sounds occur.

Phonophobia is fear or aversion to loud sounds. Ligyrophobia is a fear of loud sounds as well.

Basically, those are medical terms of the fear of loud noises and screaming. How do you react when your mom screams? Sometimes, loud noises can onset an anxiety attack due to fear. Does this ever happen to you?

Parents can be apart and still co-parent, but it seems like your parents did not do that. It's understandable that you have trust issues with your dad. Have you told him how hard this is for you? It's not only him you want to see, you now have a baby sister who needs to be in your life as well.

I can see that you're still hurt over your dad not being in your life for so many years. It's okay to feel hurt and have anger towards him. Sit down with your dad—without his girlfriend—and talk to him about him being gone. You definitely have trust issues with him and that's okay, he needs to understand what you're going through so you can build your relationship back up.

I think your mom needs to see a therapist. She's obviously dealing with pain, anger, and possibly a mood disorder. Was there a mood shift when your dad came back in your life? Does she seem to get angry when he comes around?

You didn't say why you're in and out of the hospital all the time or why you say you're going to die in a few years. That's a very scary feeling and it's probably overwhelming for you. Is there a reason you don't feel safe at the hospital?

I really hope things get better with your family. Try talking to both of your parents to let them know how you feel. It's very important! Whatever illness you have, I pray you get better and things start looking up for you.

Writing everything down in a journal can help get everything off your mind. If things get too overwhelming just walk away. Going for a walk can help clear your mind. No matter what—stay safe and healthy. I'm just a message way anytime you need a friend to talk to.

Love Always,
Boo

☝🏻 Does your Mom show any of these symptoms?☝🏻

*Name has been changed to protect identity.

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*** I'm trying to get back to a regular updating schedule. Between my surgery and my mother-in-law's decline in health it's been very hard to do so. I have 8 more letters to answer, please stick with me as I get back to normal. 😘😘