Dear Boo,

Thanks so much for listening. Well, let me start with the first problem. It has been going on for years now.

My Mom has three adopted siblings. One lives who knows where. My Mom will not allow me to see him and I never met him. The other two live in Toronto. I live about three hours away. I have an aunt, Stella*, who has a kid, Kim*, and an uncle, Jake*, who has a boyfriend, Emmett*.

Stella* is not mentally stable, and never had been. My Mom tells me the correct term is, pathological liar. Anyways, Stella's* daughter Kim* is almost ten. I haven't got to meet her much until recently. When I was ten (four years ago) my Mom drove to Toronto with my Grandma because Stella* didn't want Kim* anymore, and the police were involved. We were supposed to take her in, but we never did. I was young and my Mom didn't tell me why. That was the first mention of my cousin came up. I knew of her, but never knew anything about her. I didn't even know more than her name then.

My uncle Jake* didn't always live in Toronto, so he wasn't there when this happened. After the above-described problem, Kim* got out into a foster home and stayed there peacefully for a while.

I didn't hear anything about her until this year. Kim* finally got to go back to live with her Mom before Thanksgiving. So Kim* came down to my grandma's (who lives ten minutes away from me) for Christmas. Stella* dropped her off, then went to a party. Then she asked my Grandma to come to Toronto to take Kim* for the March break, and my Grandma did.

From those recent connections with my cousin I learned so much about her, both happy and safe parts.

Kim* told me the reason she was put into foster care was that Stella* locked her out of their apartment on the porch for the night. She was only six years old! The school found out, police got involved, and they called my Mom.

A few weeks ago, on a three day weekend, my sister, Mom, and I decided to go up to Toronto on the train (which I had never been on) to visit my uncle Jake* and Kim*. Like a week before we left, we found out something happened with Stella* again. My Mom hasn't told me all the details. But, Kim* was taken away again.

Whether we were allowed to see her was in jeopardy. I was devastated! I was so worried about her. I don't know what happened, and I was out for like three days worried sick about her, until I found out she was at the foster home she was at before. We were allowed to see her when we went up there. We met up with Jake* (who I haven't seen in years) and Kim*, it felt great.

Stella* had court the next day to determine the details about what happened. Apparently, she flipped out at the social worker and can't see Kim* anymore. At all. I don't know how I feel about that, or how I should feel. That's her Mom!

Anyways, so this past weekend my Mom got a text from Jake* saying Stella* freaked out again. She threw all the stuff Kim* has away, and I cried.

My question is...what am I supposed to do? I can't just sit here and listen to all this happen. But, my Mom hasn't told me everything about the story. When I asked her why we can't take Kim* in she said Stella* could say anything about her and put us in jeopardy. She said it happened before with my Grandma already. She refused on many occasions to tell me what happened, saying she will tell me in a few years.

Thanks,
Autumn*

🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁

Dear Autumn*,

Thanks for writing to me about this issue going on with your family. You explained everything in great detail, so I think I have a solid understanding.

I can't imagine what Kim* must be feeling. Stella* is her mother, she's supposed to love and protect her the most. Instead, she's doing the opposite. Normally CPS removes kids from homes if there is neglect and/or if they're in danger. The first time Kim* was taken it was because she was completely neglected. Stella* locked her outside... overnight! She was a damn baby at six years old. Kids can't take care of themselves at that age. Kim* was alone, probably hungry, cold, and definitely scared. I can't imagine even being in her shoes, and I'm a grown adult.

Kim* was sent back to live with Stella*, not four months later she was taken away again. I will assume for neglect again. More than likely, Stella* flipped out on the social worker because she knew whatever she did was wrong. People like this don't like to be shown what they do.

I don't have an answer about why Stella* threw all of Kim's* things out. It could be because she was hurting. Maybe the reality that she lost her daughter finally got to her. Each person reacts to pain and sorrow in different ways.

I understand why your Mom hasn't told you all the details of why Kim* was taken again. She wants to protect you from being hurt even more. The details may be hard to deal with. As cliche as this sounds, you'll understand why when you're older and definitely when you're a Mom. You're only fourteen right now, your Mom is protective of you.

Try sitting your Mom down and explain to her how much you live Kim*. Tell her you would like to know if she is safe and what exactly happened.

As for Kim* being unable to live with you… I understand this as well. Some people are horrible humans. Stella* could hold a huge secret, or will maybe create lies to tell CPS about your Mom. That would put your safety in danger, and you come first before anyone to your Mom. Trust me, a mother (well, most) will do anything to protect their children and will put them before anyone! If Stella* has done this to her own mother, she will do it to her sister!

I truly hope things start to look up for you and your family. I hope Kim* is safe and happy, and that Stella* gets the help she needs. Remember I am always just a message away at any time! I love you and wish you the best. You're a wonderful person and a great friend to me.

Love Always,
Boo

*Names have been changed to protect identity.

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**Hey guys, just want to apologize (over and over)! I am so behind on Dear Boo. When I sprained my wrist over a week ago it put me behind. Mainly because I handwrite anything that's not sent to me by email, pm on Instagram, or pm on Slack. I have 10 (yes, 10) letters to post. A few of them are already answered and just need typed up. I will get to them all, just please bare with me while I get through all of them. I love y'all!