🤯 Emotionally Broken🤯
❌Warning!!!❌
This letter contains mature subjects that may be triggering!! Suicidal ideations, self-harm, PTSD, and death will be discussed. If any of those triggering you please read with caution!!
🦄🤯👾🧚🧜🤹🤳🤙✍️🤝🧤📿
(I'm just now finding new emojis on my phone haha)
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Dear Boo,
I've had suicidal thoughts since I was eight years old.
My father died on Christmas night, 2008, from a gunshot to the chest. Because of that, I have PTSD.
In early 2015 or 2016, I began cutting myself.
I'm mainly reaching out because I want to stop. But, it's becoming more of an addiction than anything.
My aunt was murdered a few months ago and today was the murderer's plea bargain.
Also, do you believe in spirits? Please, don't think I'm crazy. I had a very vivid dream of my aunt last night. In my dream, she told me she loves and misses me. All-day has been crazy since I woke up from that dream.
I'm trying to finish up my senior year, but I don't know how much more I can take of this horrid thing we call life.
Thanks,
– Baby Giraffe*
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Dear Baby Giraffe*,
First off, such a cute name choice! I adore giraffes soo much, as you can tell by my profile pic with my stuffie. Thank you for writing in to me and trusting me with your darkest issues.
Secondly, suicidal thoughts aren't to be taken lightly. They are your demons whispering terrible thoughts and images to you at your lowest moments. Hold on to the fact that those demons are liars.
YOU are worth living a good, happy life.
YOU are loved by people.
YOU matter!!
Imagine the people you will hurt if you take your own life. You reaching out to me shows me that you value your life enough to not end it. I don't want you to end it!
But, sadly, I have been there and I understand your mindset. I've held razor blades to my wrist and cut. I've dealt with death.
Cutting is making your body feel physical pain to relieve emotional pain. Emotional pain is the worst. To me, it hurts deeper than physical. Scars on the body can heal quicker than emotional scars.
The next time you pick up a razor blade to hurt yourself..stop! Instead, message me, please. Let me redirect your mind to another place. One day you will cut too deep and there will be no coming back from that.
Remember, you are not alone! There are a lot of people who harm themselves. While I can't save everyone, I want you and anyone reading this, to know that there are other ways of expressing your emotional pain.
Write it out! So many people can relate with you, it may shock you how many people have the same mindset you have. Even if you don't hit publish you can write your thoughts out like a journal on here.
Talk! Talk with someone you trust and get your emotions out. It can be someone who has been in your shoes or start seeing a therapist. They do help, I see a therapist twice a month plus go to group therapy. Keeping your thoughts in is more harmful than good.
As far as spirits, yes I do believe in them. Ghosts, no. But spirits, yes. I believe if we believe hard enough they will show up. I remember times I would have my grandpa on my mind, he was my world before he died, and next thing I know I could feel something like a force hug me. It never scares me, it brings me peace.
Your aunt was heavily on your mind so it's reasonable that you dreamt about her. In a way, she was telling you that she is okay wherever she may be. She's telling you that she loves and misses you because she was a big part of your life.
For your father, you have PTSD from his death. I watched my late fiance take his last breath right before he died from a massive heart attack. I have PTSD as well due to death.
You panic and have attacks because you remember that moment the most. Remember the good memories of your father. Don't let his death be the main thing you remember. Smile and laugh at the good memories. Move on past his death to help yourself. Remember one major thing…
Moving on is not forgetting, it's letting go of the pain and remembering the good.
I think your father would agree and want you to live the best life possible. You didn't mention any other family members, but they need you to be alive to grow and live a life that your father didn't get to.
Live each day one day at a time. If that gets too hard, then focus on getting by hourly.
Be an advocate for PTSD, depression, and self-harm. Speak up and let others know they aren't alone. I have bipolar type two disorder, PTSD and I’m manic depressive.
Ask anyone who knows me...I'm not quiet about it. I speak up about anything I'm diagnosed with because maybe I can help someone going through the same thing.
Music also helps me a lot. Songs and lyrics from Slipknot, Evanescence, and Linkin Park have helped me through some of my hardest times. Corey Taylor (Slipknot) and Chester Bennington (LP) and two that advocate their issues to the extreme. Of course, Chester is a topic that breaks my heart. But I don't believe his was a legit suicide. However, that's a topic for another day!
Anytime you need a friend to talk to, privately or for Dear Boo, just send me a message and I will be here anytime you need a friend. But no matter what, please don't harm yourself anymore and don't end it. You seem like a great person and I will do all I can to help you.
Love,
–Boo





⬆️I like this, I think you might as well.⬆️



★The video attached is “One More Light” by Linkin Park. I highly recommend anyone reading this to watch the video and listen to Chester’s words.★
*Name has been changed to protect the writer.
★This is one of the longest responses I've given. This is dear to my heart so anyone reading is welcome to speak up and voice your opinions as well.
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