Second Letter

Dear Ana,

I know – You never liked my family. You always talked so terribly about them. And when your words hit me perennially like a sharp blade did, you blamed them for it. Told me that I would only need you because they didn't need me. 

That they secretly thought they'd be better off without me. 

I had to hide you. They weren't allowed to see you and I wasn't allowed to talk about the things you made me do.
I had to conceal the marks that your presence left on my body. Everything you were or even was related to you was never allowed to come to light.
And I obeyed you.
Because I was too afraid that someone could take you away from me.
I hated you so incredibly much, oh I did, but at the same time I felt like I couldn't live on without you. 

Without you I would be all alone again. 

At that time it never strike to me that the reason for my isolation and loneliness could be you. And although I had a lot of friends I couldn't let them become close to me.
Because you were terribly jealous and have never been able to share very well. 

In my life there could and should only be room for you. 

I followed your selfish desires because at that point I already had been lied to and given up way too often. 
Together with you, I looked at them through ... a kind of thick glass slice. 

You took my hand. Now I would never have to fear being hurt again you said, because you locked them all up. Only now do I realize that the one you had locked in was no other than me. 

I was so foolish to believe you. 

And I was so foolish to defend you. You were accused every now and then. They said you're unhealthy and controlling – and that I would die from you. 

But betraying you was out of the question. You gave me so much after all. And I was very certain at that time that you would give me more if I only stayed loyal to you ... pathetic, isn't it?

Well, maybe I would have kept this promise until death divorced us. Because you are such a beautiful bride. And there are still days and nights when I want you. Want to feel your company and hear your voice. Want you to make my life so easy again because it'll be only about the things you command. 

Then I feel the presence of the person who loves me. And while you shrink away in jealousy, I burry my face tightly against the warm body by my side. 

And I'm feeling the warmth that you was never able to give me. 

This is the second letter to you. And it won't be the last. Because now I will tell and you will listen to me closely. 

Greetings 

Face

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top