Book name: Young God
Fandom: Hunter x Hunter
Genre: Angst
Author: SEOKJINISM-
POV: Third person view
Content: 22 chapters
Status: Ongoing
Remarks: "I've been working hard on YOUNG GOD for an accountable time in this account since 2014, and it has potential that I believe it does not live up to, for some reason. I believe I could do better, I believe YOUNG GOD could be better. I've rewritten YG countless of times and I've unpublished it at the same time, only to bring it back again, revised. The concept I have for YG to portray is character development and dark tragedy; but I believe this concept sometimes drive readers away because of how excessively detailed and how controversial the themes can be. There are moments during several chapters when the scene is too vague for the readers to understand and I want to correct that. I genuinely just care about YG so much that I want it to be a good enough material for others to read, I've improved my writing style and my writing itself because of the years I've dedicated to YG. I want to hear your opinion on YG so I could improve it more, and so it could live up to it's full potential."

- Ares

A) Cover - B+ (8.6)
...1) Image [ A+ ]
...2) Font [ F ]
...3) Color scheme [ A+ ]
...4) Resolution [ A+ ]
...5) Implicative Aspect [ A+ ]
...6) Impact [ A+ ]
...7) Meaning [ A+ ]

B) Description - A+ (9.5)
...1) Style [ A+ ]
...2) Relevance [ A+ ]
...3) Mysticism [ A+ ]
...4) Neatness [ A+ ]

C) Storyline - A+ (9.7)
...1) Chapter length [ A+ ]
...2) Prioritization [ A- ]
...3) Spotlights [ A- ]
...4) Composition/Style [ A+ ]
...5) Presence of Plotline [ A+ ]
...6) Originality [ A+ ]
...7) Efficiency [ A+ ]

D) Characters - A+ (9.8)
...1) Accuracy [ A+ ]
...2) Description [ A+ ]
......a) Style
......b) Vividness
......c) Impact
......d) Originality (only OC characters)
...3) Presence [ A+ ]
......1) Scene distribution
......2) Contribution to story

E) Dialogue - A+ (10)
...1) Accuracy [ A+ ]
...2) Density/Weight [ A+ ]
...3) Language [ A+ ]
...4) Richness [ A+ ]
......a) Description of actions
......b) Linear to scene
......c) Creativity
...5) Length [ A+ ]
...6) Delivery [ A+ ]
...7) Neatness [ A+ ]

F) Setting - A+ (9.6)
...1) Direction [ A+ ]
...2) Number of locations [ A+ ]
...3) Vividness [ A+ ]
...4) Scenario [ A+ ]
...5) Names [ A+ ]
......a) Locations
......b) Characters
......c) Others

G) Technicals - A (9.5)
...1) Errors [ B+ ]
......a) Grammar
......b) Punctuation
......c) Typo
...2) Arrangement [ A+ ]
...3) Encapsulation of idea [ A+ ]
...4) Mood [ A+ ]
...5) Book title [ A+ ]
...6) Genre relevance and accuracy [ B+ ]

* * * * * * * *

Verdict :
Book rating: 9.6/10.0 (B+)
Potential: 25%

* * * * * * * *

A) Cover
The first cover of Young God, before you changed it, was really amazing! Not that the cover now isn't, but I get the idea that placing a theme on the covers seems to be a trend now since I know some people who do the same. The cover, by far, is fine and great with the way it is. It's simple, which is what I also like about it. It's practically perfect for the book. Just one thing? It doesn't have a title (although it seems none of your book covers have a written book title). Other than that, your choice of covers is seeping with mystery and poetry.

B) Description
Though the description is practically a two line quote, it's pretty well-worded. It gives an immediate idea to the readers that this book is definitely not for the light-hearted. A lot of books sometimes put too much stuff into their description that the readers could already guess what's happening, and I've applied that for myself, too. 

Though it's short, the description is deep? And that's what I really love, honestly. I don't see too many heavy books that I like. During my years in Wattpad, there were only a handful of books that I truly appreciate for their mysticism. After stumbling into yours, Young God is one of them.

C) Storyline
After reading the first few chapters, I was impressed with how you divided the book by two (so far) with his tragic bring up in the first arc then his arc where he's finally involved with Gon. Before I say anything else, I couldn't help but read some comments along the way. I wanted to see what the readers' thoughts were and I saw that a lot loved Prince, while some held bias for Killua and Gon and the many comparisons between Killua and Prince. I think what people fail to realize is that though they have similar personalities, yes, they were brought up differently. 

Killua was not hounded to die, in fact, his family are a prestigious family of assassins. And the privilege Killua had that Prince didn't was that he had a family all his life. Though they don't exactly are the perfect family type, at least Killua knew they loved and cared for him. He was practically under a lot of wings especially Illumi's. Meanwhile, Prince suffered horribly since probably his childhood because he and his fam are hunted down like vampires. Then he could have had a senior to look up to--if he had not killed him. So there's always going to be that bitter side to him compared to Killua who simply looked for light, which became Gon and all the more when he overcame his fear of Illumi. Prince had no one to fear except for Bravat.

Going on. . . I don't see any flaw with the storyline. Though you've inserted Prince into the original storyline of HunterxHunter, and I honestly expected something else to go with this, but it's great. I feel the heavy weight of the story because I can't predict what's going to happen, especially that Prince has his murderous tendencies. And this unpredictability is something I love about the story. I can't wait to see where it goes! But one thing I suspect you doing is that after the Hunters Exam, you're going to stray from the original storyline and move on to Prince's personal mission for vengeance, which is something I'll be looking forward to.

The only thing missing was the way you time skipped through the exam? I think you could be able to give the readers an idea of what happened instead of just jumping through the scenes. Like you could say, they went through this and that, they almost got eaten or something but they managed. I think you could get an idea of what I mean.

D) Characters
Prince is not the first bloodthirsty OC I've seen in Wattpad. But he's the first broken dude I've come across. It's actually refreshing to read about a guy OC. It's rare, and I love it. I don't think I would have enjoyed the book as much as I did if the OC was a girl. Maybe I'm just being sexist, but that's how I feel, lol. Prince is quite the tragic character. And the fact that he literally had nothing to do with it is what makes it hurt even more. Because along the way, it just snapped. And the way I see it, his going to go through a lot of emotional stuff as long as he sticks with Gon.

I loved how you created those psychopathic sisters. It's not something I get to come across everyday, not to mention that they're all cunts. But what I want to find out is why Mellusine died? Would you mind enlightening about it? Unless, of course, there was an ulterior purpose for her death. I wonder if there is? 

Fortunately, I've finished the series a few weeks back so I could say that the characters have been pretty accurate. I'm actually scared for Gon to find out how murderous Prince is, although he might most probably just accept him the way he is like how he was for Killua. Finding out Killua's background did not change Gon's perspective of him, and that's what I like about him. Most anime characters would grow awkward and become wary of their former friends, so I look forward to Gon's future epiphany.

E) Dialogue
The dialogues are great, but the paragraph parts are something you should deal with--I'll get to that later. There's not much to improve on, because you wrote your dialogues pretty well. I enjoyed reading. I love how you wrote them. Like?? Impressive, I have to say. The way you write is something I don't think I can achieve. 

I also like how you did the characters' internal monologues, which were all creatively and beautifully done. If readers don't understand what's happening, well, sucks for them. Not a lot of people get this done as good as they plan it to be, and I think you achieved that from all the writing you've put it. 

F) Setting
I fell in love with how you describe things? Though they are not as vivid as I hope they would be, but the way you describe is something else. Your writing was. . . entrancing. Like super. Dude, I can't even describe how good it is. I don't know if you know some of my works, but I personally love vivid books. So I wanna give you a thumbs up for your efforts. I could plainly tell how hard you've worked for this, and it's not something a lot of people work hard for.

Introducing Prince first thing in the first chapter instantly led me to just be engrossed in the book. I don't know with other peeps, but there would be no way I'd stop reading the book (unless I'm busy writing or watching anime). Anyway, I applaud you and this beautiful book of yours.

G) Technicals
You told me that you feel that there's something wrong with the chapter formatting, but honestly I love how you format the chapters. I don't even put that much effort into the formatting. 

Like I don't even bother adding something this grandiose. It's daunting on my part as a fellow writer ;; Honestly, I wanna adapt something like this, I see other writers (I assume they're close friends of yours--TDOROKI and serayume?) If I ever do, I hope you don't mind :3 I'm inspired to do more than what I've already done. 

Let's move on. The only technical problem within your chapters is your paragraphing and dialogue cutting. I don't know if you know about this, but you're supposed to make a new paragraph after with a different speaker. So you could see those red line cutting after some parts. This is in the. . . sixth chapter? I forgot. But you do have these mistakes throughout your book. The red marks indicate that you should make a new paragraphs after each line. A little thing about paragraph making is that they should be talking about the same thing. But even if the speakers are talking about the same thing, they should be in different paragraphs, including little actions. You could look at The Mourning Samurai (it's the book I'm most proud of, so feel free to scan) for reference on this.

I also placed periods on parts that you used a comma. You should realize that sometimes periods are what's needed instead of commas. How do I put this? Um, you shouldn't make sentences too long, especially when they're not talking about the same thing. The parts here was Morgan talking, then you add some description on what's happening, but you also move on to Prince's reply. You should divide those, and not be scared of short paragraphs (I presume  you're putting a goal in making long paragraphs?).

You should also add more to the genre other just angst. You should add tragedy and drama as well. Other than that, there's nothing to worry about, Ares :)

* * * * *

Concluding remarks:
After reading twenty-two chapters, I applaud you and I have to say that you should be really proud of your book. I was happy that you requested a review from me, although honestly I'm just pretty meticulous. I also have a book that went through the same phase Young God did, it's one of my books called Terror In Resonance. I also wrote the first version back in 2014. It was called The Last One then, and it's been going through revises until I posted the new version of it which was then renamed Terror In Resonance. Basically, I know how you feel. One of the things I hate about some people here is that they fail to recognize a really good book. But I guess it's because a lot of readers are young people who aren't used to dark and heavy books. But then again, people fail to appreciate what's really good just despite how vivid and well-written it was.

I understand that you feel insecure that you lose readers, but honestly, I don't know how to not lose readers because as I write my stories as something heavy and. . not cliche (?), I still lose readers anyway. A lot of the people who requested a review because they lose readers and they want to find out why. I'm sorry to say that I don't know how not to when I have a problem with that myself. 

You told me that, "The reason why I'm very proud of it though, is not because it's garnered thousand of reads but because of the fact that it's come a long way." I think you should focus on finishing your book because of that. Rather than finishing the book for the readers' sake, you should finish the book because the book itself deserves it and you yourself deserve it. I think that Young God needs to start moving towards the actual plot you have in mind. Don't let it get driven by the original anime itself, because it's going to waste its novelty. I believe that your book can move on to the darker side of the story now.

Anyways, I think that's about all. I don't think there's anything else you should add in the previous chapters (maybe just some overview of what had happened during the first and second phase of the exam), so just focus on surprising your loyal readers. They deserve that much. I'm gonna cheer for your success and if you need any more advice, feel free to dm me :)

- R