Book name: Wait for Me
Fandom: One Piece
Genre: Action, Supernatural, Drama, Comedy
Author: mwzxxx
POV: First person view
Content: 20 chapters
Status: Completed
Remarks: "I love my story despite the problems it may have. Throughout the time I wrote this book, I went through hardships but I didn't want to give up writing the story despite that. I'm proud of it because I put as much thought into it as I could and I didn't give up on it. The readers support made me overjoyed and I'd really like to edit WAIT FOR ME to reveal its fullest potential. I think there may be plot holes and I don't want it to be confusing to the readers."

-  mwzxxx

A) Cover - A+ (9.8)
...1) Image [ A+ ]
...2) Font [ A+ ]
...3) Color scheme [ A+ ]
...4) Resolution [ A+ ]
...5) Implicative Aspect [ A+ ]
...6) Impact [ A+ ]
...7) Meaning [ A+ ]

B) Description - C+ (7.2)
...1) Style [ F ]
...2) Relevance [ B+ ]
...3) Mysticism [ A+ ]
...4) Neatness [ E ]

C) Storyline - B+ (8.8)
...1) Chapter length [ A+ ]
...2) Prioritization [ A+ ]
...3) Spotlights [ C+ ]
...4) Composition/Style [ C+ ]
...5) Presence of Plotline [ A- ]
...6) Originality [ B+ ]
...7) Efficiency [ A+ ]

D) Characters - B+ (8.8)
...1) Accuracy [ B+ ]
...2) Description [ B- ]
......a) Style
......b) Vividness
......c) Impact
......d) Originality (only OC characters)
...3) Presence [ A+ ]
......1) Scene distribution
......2) Contribution to story

E) Dialogue - B+ (8.8)
...1) Accuracy [ B+ ]
...2) Density/Weight [ B+ ]
...3) Language [ A+ ]
...4) Richness [ C+ ]
......a) Description of actions
......b) Linear to scene
......c) Creativity
...5) Length [ A- ]
...6) Delivery [ A+ ]
...7) Neatness [ A+ ]

F) Setting - B- (7.8)
...1) Direction [ D ]
...2) Number of locations [ B+ ]
...3) Vividness [ D ]
...4) Scenario [ B+ ]
...5) Names [ A+ ]
......a) Locations
......b) Characters
......c) Others

G) Technicals - C+ (7.1)
...1) Errors [ C+ ]
......a) Grammar
......b) Punctuation
......c) Typo
...2) Arrangement [ C+ ]
...3) Encapsulation of idea [ A+ ]
...4) Mood [ A- ]
...5) Book title [ A+ ]
...6) Genre relevance and accuracy [ B ]

* * * * * * * *

Verdict :
Book rating: 8.3/10.0 (B+)
Potential: 67%

* * * * * * * *

A) Cover
I loved the cover. Like I swear to the gods of the heavens, the book cover was so pretty! The color was just about right, the font, the style; everything! The feels on the cover was pretty obvious, and I applaud you for that.

B) Description
This part needs a lot of fixing. It's good that you took out an excerpt from your book to be the book's description, but I don't understand what happened to it's appearance?

The above is what I see in my laptop.

This one is from my phone.

I'M SORRY IT'S SO BIG xD

Anyway, this part is the only thing I have a problem with, and I think you'll have to do something about it :)

C) Storyline
I was honestly impressed with the plotline? It was simply: girl is rebellious ends up in school and meets friends, drama, makes escape, rescues precious bro, and somehow she ends up super hurt and we realize that she's cursed. Or something like that. It was a simply but good plot that had a lot of character development happened in Y/N--let's call her Izumi here because I just watched a video talking about Itachi's love life which made me cry tears of misery. It was really sad.

Okay, so Izumi here wants to be a pirate and in the beginning of the story we hear that she killed a lot of Marine ships which earned her a place at a school in Dressrosa with a lot of other delinquents. I loved the fact that you explained what happened in the beginning at the ending. It practically foreshadowed what had happened. 

In the story we could see that Izumi really wanted to become a pirate, as I mentioned before, but she wanted to do something first which turns out to be a brother rescue mission. She hoped that the Straw Hats would wait for her, and they did. However, I advise that you add deep and meaningful moments between her and her love interests. Izumi hung out a lot with Luffy, but her moments with Kid and Law weren't as much. In fact, she barely had moments with Law. Though the story turned into a reverse harem, we have to make sure that Izumi has the same amount of moment she had with the three mentioned men. 

Her moments with Kid were romantic in a sense? So I don't question why Kid would like her, but maybe you should add something realistic between them like how relationships actually work. Like maybe they would share secrets with one another, be honest with each other. Even if Izumi is dense about his feelings, Kid should at least get comfortable and show some weakness.

She and Luffy seemed to have a more platonic relationship than a romantic one. He treated her the same way he treats Nanami and thus I don't really get why exactly he even started to like her. She and Nanami were pretty similar too, only that Nanami was less of a hotheaded person, but they both were fighting for someone (on Nanami's case, her village) they cared for. Nanami was more lady-like as well. If Izumi kept to her confident and cool persona with some wisdom and bravery here and there, then I won't question Luffy's taste.

Law, however, barely had interaction with Izumi. The most they even did was bump into each other in the hallway then he'd go blushing in her presence. The two should at least share alone moments together to build their relationship.

And I advise you to remove the "share of room" part between Kid and Izumi as well.

Maybe you could also had more depth in the story in between the beginning and ending to add more impact and drama.

D) Characters
I liked Izumi the moment I read the first chapter, but I was surprised when she easily loses her cool around men. I suggest that you keep to her cool personality, but that's really your choice. I'd like writers to avoid designing their OCs to be hotheaded as much as possible. Because if you noticed, even anime series with female main protagonists have hotheaded personalities. 

Or maybe I just prefer anime with male leads because their personalities are more diverse. 

But other than that Izumi is pretty badass, especially with her battle at Marineford. I could even imagine the scene, and it was WOW. Izumi was a pretty tomboyish character, too :)

The other characters were okay, and they were kept into their usual personalities, Like how Luffy was quick to get attached with Izumi. That's so Luffy, hahaha. I don't really know Law and Kid, but their personalities, minus the romantic part were accurate. I have to say that there has to be some way that would get these two to fall for Izumi. Maybe she did something extremely dangerous, and it got their attention when she acts strong but has a weak side to her? You know, meeting a dangerous woman who can also be a damsel they can rescue.

E) Dialogue
The dialogues were done pretty well. It went along with the book: the dialogues were neither deep or shallow. It was about right. I enjoyed reading Izumi's feelings and her reactions. Her relationship with her guardian is hilarious. Although you have to make a more flowy or smooth writing. There are some parts that seem choppy to read. I'm not sure how to explain that part. But I believe you'll get it if you reread your chapters. A writer should be able to identify this.

I apologize for the fact that the lines aren't straight, my laptop doesn't have the "keep straight" function and it's upsetting, asdfghjkl.

The stuff I underlined simply all means they need to be in paragraphs. Like, green line--enter. Red line--enter. First purple line--enter. Second green line--enter. Don't mistake them to be grouped. Hehe. So you have to learn that there are lines that need to be separated for emphasis. It's different from making paragraphs because of the subject in the paragraph but they're separated for the emphasizing purposes.

F) Setting
For a first POV book, Wait for Me was actually pretty vivid. You wrote the story pretty well, and I applaud you for that. Although still, there a lot to work on to actually really make the book vivid. The way you wrote the book was straightforward, and it's good because a complicated, worked detail would confuse the readers, lol. 

I had a hard time imagining on some parts, but it's minor.

The scenarios were done pretty good, although I was like "wut" on some parts of the book, which includes beating Shanks. SHANKS IS MY BABY <3 <3

Mmm, the main story is there but some of the fillers look like they're there for the sake of being there and they had little relevance to the story. Such scenes include the classroom scenes because they only showed the nonsense-parody sides of the characters. Not to mention Izumi's bursting, self-righteous tendencies. To justify those scenarios, there would have to be more depth to the character because she was introduced as a character who seemed very much alike Luffy. Suddenly changing her character is a surprise to me and shows inconsistency in the character and it affects the scenarios. 

Though there were some scenarios that do build the character development of the important characters of the story.

G) Technicals
If I remember correctly, there were some punctuation and typo errors within the book. I can't pinpoint where since they're scattered, but there were punctuation marks that should have been used instead of some punctuation marks. There were also better ways to explain something instead of the way you explained some parts. The grammar part are the words you placed in "present tense" instead of the past tense which would be correct. 

The words encircled, for example should have been in past tense. This is because this scenario is presented as a flash back, thus it should have been written in past tense. Your verbs throughout the book are written in present tense, but sometimes they need to be written in past tense.

The arrangement part is alright. But the corrections in this part was explained in the dialogues part. The thing with paragraphs.

When you had this book signed up to be reviewed, I was actually shocked with the title. I thought that it was going to be the typical romance fanfic that everyone fawns over while I question their taste, but as I read the book, I was actually relieved and impressed at the same time? I read that the book's initial title wasn't "Wait For Me" but "Drressrosa Academy." The current title is actually a lot better than the previous one because in the end of the story actually made sense and I loved it! The title is unique and simply put, "on point."

The book was indeed a reverse harem book. Just needs some more scenarios for a romance.

* * * * *

Concluding remarks:
It was a good thing I started watching One Piece recently. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to critic this book as well as I could ever had with fanfics with anime I've actually watched. So I this book was better reviewed than Strong, the first One Piece fanfic I reviewed.

First, I applaud the book. It was pretty good, I actually enjoyed reading it. There's a lot of room for improvement, and it has a potential to become a better book. It could become a book filled with emotions and character change. In addition to Izumi's character development, you could even add changes in Kid and Law--they are known for being bloody murderers. Izumi could have an influence on them by imposing her ideal on them. She could show them that there is more meaning to being a pirate than to simply kill and steal. She is a hero with a steal heart. Because she refuses to side with the World Government, she decides to change the world while being a pirate.

Then maybe, she is doing this because she wants to live a meaningful life which she knows she is proud of. There is more to books than simply just writing it. As writers, we are given an opportunity to send a message to our readers. Hayao Miyuzaki, the owner of Studio Ghibli, strictly imposed this mission on his works: that even the most plain girls can become heroes. In the same way, Izumi could be more than just a girl hurrying to rescue her brother.

For a book that only has twenty chapters worth of story, it seemed pretty long. They were appetizing. But it lacks the side dish, lol. It's a good thing that you were motivated to continue writing the book wit flying colors. And moreover, you made a second book. Keep up the good work, and always keep moving forward. Whether you have supporters or not, you are a writer with potential.

- R