Book name: The Darkness In Our Hearts
Fandom: Bleach
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Author: DragonGirl_97 aka Sagittarius
POV: First person view
Content: 20 chapters
Status: Ongoing
Remarks: "I wanted to get it assessed to see what I can fix in it and stuff. I want to make it as good as possible so people will enjoy reading it." 

- Sagittarius

A) Cover - F (5)
...1) Image [ F ]
...2) Font [ C ]
...3) Color scheme [ A+ ]
...4) Resolution [ B+ ]
...5) Implicative Aspect [ C+ ]
...6) Impact [ B+ ]
...7) Meaning [ F ]

B) Description - A+ (10)
...1) Style [ A+ ]
...2) Relevance [ A+ ]
...3) Mysticism [ A+ ] 
...4) Neatness [ A+ ]

C) Storyline - B+ (8.9)
...1) Chapter length [ A+ ]
...2) Prioritization [ A+ ]
...3) Spotlights [ C+ ]
...4) Composition/Style [ C+ ]
...5) Presence of Plotline [ A- ]
...6) Originality [ A+ ]
...7) Efficiency [ A+ ]

D) Characters - B+ (8.6)
...1) Accuracy [ A+ ]
...2) Description [ C- ]
......a) Style
......b) Vividness
......c) Impact
......d) Originality (only OC characters)
...3) Presence [ A+ ]
......1) Scene distribution
......2) Contribution to story

E) Dialogue - A+ (9.6)
...1) Accuracy [ A+ ]
...2) Density/Weight [ A+ ]
...3) Language [ A+ ]
...4) Richness [ C+ ]
......a) Description of actions
......b) Linear to scene
......c) Creativity
...5) Length [ A+ ]
...6) Delivery [ A+ ]
...7) Neatness [ A+ ]

F) Setting - B+ (8.6)
...1) Direction [ B+ ]
...2) Number of locations [ A+ ]
...3) Vividness [ D ]
...4) Scenario [ A+ ]
...5) Names [ B+ ]
......a) Locations
......b) Characters
......c) Others

G) Technicals - A- (9)
...1) Errors [ A+ ]
......a) Grammar
......b) Punctuation
......c) Typo
...2) Arrangement [ A+ ]
...3) Encapsulation of idea [ A+ ]
...4) Mood [ B+ ]
...5) Book title [ B+ ]
...6) Genre relevance and accuracy [ B ]

* * * * * * * *

Verdict :
Book rating: 8.5/10.0 (B+)
Potential: 32%

* * * * * * * *

A) Cover 
When I first saw the cover, I tried guessing what it was. I couldn't convey what was on the image until I stared at it longer: it was a heart in a person's hand with a vague image of smoke. I didn't like it because it had no relevance to the book's metaphorical title and was put into a literal sense. It was morbid and it would actually scare readers away until they muster up the courage to check out what your book was about. The font was relatively okay, although I probably would have chosen a different type, but I don't think that part is relevant enough to discuss.

You would have to redo your cover if you want to attract more people.

It's inevitable, people get attracted to the book by the cover before their eyes land on the book description. So, to ease your convenience, I decided to make one for you :)

I didn't know what exactly your taste in style is, but this is the best I could do for your book. Because of the book title, it would mean sadness and longing for someone who seemed to have either lost hope or see the reality of living.

B) Description
The description was fantastic! It gave an overview of what would be occurring along the book, and it really drew me to the story. It may be simple, short and brief, but it arouses the curiosity of the readers who would want to see what will be happening next. It was truly mystifying and also very neat. 

So good job on writing the description! It's a job well done! :D

C) Storyline
The steady pace was great. The way the characters progressed was decent, and the most important thing was the presence of character development. And another is the fact that Kera-san is a character who is not perfect, which distinguishes her from those disappointing OCs who are all-powerful and perfect. We could see her develop as the story progresses and see her downsides and upsides, along with her growing relationships with the other soul reapers.

The chapter divisions were decent, not too long, and not too short. Although the division of the chapters should never actually be a stumbling block for readers because real book chapters could actually be long. A lot longer than the ones here in Wattpad.

I have no problems with the spotlights or the composition style, they were good and decent. However, the plot line is common. But it's something inevitable and is actually a general plot type. But we are still halfway the story so we shall wait what else you have in store for us :)

The only thing lacking is involved with the technicals, but we will get to that later.

D) Characters
To be honest though, I was pretty confused. First off, I'm terribly sorry, but I only managed to watch a handful of Bleach episodes, gomen. But I get a lot of the idea of the anime plot and some characters, but because I was unfamiliar with many, I had to research who they were, haha.

As far as I could tell, the characters were accurate. And realistically, not everyone favoured Kera-san. At first, I didn't like Kera-san due to her arrogance, but this is due to my bias against her type of characters from my experience with the Diabolik Lovers fandom. Many of the OCs in the fandom are arrogant and perfect, but what stunned me were her clear imperfectness. She's skilled alright, but her kind heart for the helpless turns her to a reckless war machine and what's more was her growth of fondness for her teammates. It broke my heart to be honest when she parted ways with her team. I don't blame her, but she has done something terrible without her knowledge.

The downsides about the characters were their lack of vividness. I couldn't see how they looked like because you only gave what they do and their ranks. Only Kera and Yachiru were described, although Ikakku was hinted to be bald.

E) Dialogue
The dialogues are fine, and perhaps close to perfect. It's written quite well and the conversations between two characters are thrilling in itself in the sense that the reader would be guessing how the other would reply. I could say that the weight and density was decent and well written, it's not too heavy and is friendly for young viewers.

The delivery was superb and I give a thumbs up for that. It was also very neat and the lengths were decent. The parallel actions to the dialogue was also superb, so great job!

Your writing style is what I would call straightforward because it immediately pinpoints the characters, and since it's in the first point of view of Kera-san, the universe revolves around her. It's nothing bad, and I really like how you wrote the book.

F) Setting
The settings were a bit of a problem: I had to guess where Kera-san was and how the places looked like. 

I personally like vivid books, but this is just my personal opinion. Although you mentioned the places which justified some points of the lacking world view. But come to think of it, using first point of view for vividness isn't actually good, but it would be better if you could describe the place more according to what Kera sees. It would allow the readers to imagine the place according to how Kera would describe it. I had to picture everything according to my imagination, and because I barely watch Bleach I had to base a lot from what I was able to see.

But overall, you did a good job.

G) Technicals
Now the technicals got the highest rating because I barely saw any problem with the punctuations, the grammar, but you might have to recheck for spellings, which is rare. So good job with that! 

The story arrangement was no problem, in fact, it's rare for me to come across a book that has a great story that enraptures the idea of the plot. Although I could tell that you're still far from finish because the main character had just met Rukia and will soon develop the desire to get back to where she was, the place where she looks forward to. I personally ship her with Ikakku, hahaha! The mood the book carried was a little vague, but it carries mystery which I really like.

We have yet to see the relevance of the story and its title. I don't really like concluding whether the story's title is relevant until I've read the last scenario of the book. Often the reason a story is titled comes in the end, so I have no real conclusion on the title.

I suggest that you add action and mystery to your tags. But this is just my opinion as a fellow writer. It's got fantasy, which is tagged on the book. Adding action would be an accurate addition to the story ^^

* * * * *

Concluding remarks:
I must say that the story is a job well done. I like it, and it's something unexpected to be honest. When I asked you if you were confident about your book, you told me:

"I am proud of my work-—it's come such a long way since the start, changed and evolved so much since the beginning ^_^"

When I read your message, I instantly knew that the book was going to be amazing. A writer who is confident in their work means that they are well aware that they have written something good and are simply looking for the imperfections that book has.

It was a psychological trick I came up with, I don't know if it exists but the method works. And I asked you before I began assessing your book to be honest. I asked you before I began, and I enjoyed reading it. Other than my bias against the OC at first, I grew to be fond of her as the story progressed.

So I give you a big thumbs up, and I am waiting for what happens next in the upcoming chapter :D

- R