Book name: Strength of a Flower
Fandom: Naruto
Genre: Action, Fantasy
Author: vannahgirl012
POV: Third person view
Content: 27 chapters
Status: Completed

Remarks: "I've absolutely enjoyed writing Strength of a Flower, and I know it's not the best out there, but I'm still proud of it and... I think I managed to add my own twist. I've completely unpublished this book and redone it in a completely different way three or four times over the course of the... two or three years? i've spent on it, until I was happy with it, happy with how the plot went, happy with how the characters developed(I know there's probably some improvement needed there). I've come up with at least ten different scenarios for the ending, a few different plots... it's taken a lot to come to the final product, but I'm glad I took that time because, honestly, it was a story I wanted to read and couldn't find any, so I made one."

- Vann

A) Cover - B+ (8.9)
...1) Image [ B ]
...2) Font [ C+ ]
...3) Color scheme [ A+]
...4) Resolution [ A+ ]
...5) Implicative Aspect [ B+ ]
...6) Impact [ A- ]
...7) Meaning [ A+ ]

B) Description - F (4)
...1) Style [ C- ]
...2) Relevance [ A+ ]
...3) Mysticism [ C+ ]
...4) Neatness [ E ]

C) Storyline - C- (6.8)
...1) Chapter length [ C+ ]
...2) Prioritization [ B ]
...3) Spotlights [ C- ]
...4) Composition/Style [ D ]
...5) Presence of Plotline [ C+ ]
...6) Originality [ D ]
...7) Efficiency [ D ]

D) Characters - B- (7.6)
...1) Accuracy [ C- ]
...2) Description [ C- ]
......a) Style
......b) Vividness
......c) Impact
......d) Originality (only OC characters)
...3) Presence [ A+ ]
......1) Scene distribution
......2) Contribution to story

E) Dialogue - B- (7.9)
...1) Accuracy [ B ]
...2) Density/Weight [ B ]
...3) Language [ A- ]
...4) Richness [ C+ ]
......a) Description of actions
......b) Linear to scene
......c) Creativity
...5) Length [ B+ ]
...6) Delivery [ B+ ]
...7) Neatness [ E ]

F) Setting - D (6.1)
...1) Direction [ F ]
...2) Number of locations [ C+ ]
...3) Vividness [ F ]
...4) Scenario [ B ]
...5) Names [ B+ ]
......a) Locations
......b) Characters
......c) Others

G) Technicals - B- (7.7)
...1) Errors [ D ]
......a) Grammar
......b) Punctuation
......c) Typo
...2) Arrangement [ C+ ]
...3) Encapsulation of idea [ D ]
...4) Mood [ B ]
...5) Book title [ A- ]
...6) Genre relevance and accuracy [ A+ ]

* * * * * * * *

Verdict :
Book rating: 7/10.0 (C+)
Potential: 82%

* * * * * * * *

A) Cover
The cover was more or less acceptable, haha. I can't say much on this since the story wasn't so dark or serious. In that sense, the mood of the cover is a thumbs up!

B) Description
The description was extremely short. It's not bad if you placed the stuff intended to expound on the title that makes the readers go, "Oh yeah! Of course!" or "Ah! I get it!"

The description though emphasised that your OC, Azalea, is supposed to get into a relationship with Itachi Uchiha.

There's no need for the existence of the bullets above since you're not listing anything down for the readers to know.

C) Storyline
This is the most crucial part of this review for your story. Because I believe it didn't have much depth to it, unless that was what you were aiming for, but this story was supposed to be a tragedy. 

Okay, so your story was titled "Strength of a Flower" but I didn't get the point of the story unless the "strength" of Azalea was supposed to be Itachi. That's what I think; just tell me if my theory is correct.

The story was okay, although when I got this book I expected something deep. The premise was actually similar to violinfreakk's Weeping Samurai, although I shouldn't be surprised with OCs being killed off in the end.

There wasn't much character development in Azalea: she had a happy-ish life but was sad to have her parents always go off on ANBU missions, then she meets Itachi which changes everything for her, her parents die so she gets super depressed about it, she and Itachi love each other, then she dies. That's basically the whole concept of the story.

A way for you to improve on this is to think of the following questions and suggestions I would list down:

1) Why does Azalea have blue/brown eyes instead of onyx ones?

Suggestion: Maybe she has some disease or something. Maybe because of this disease, maybe her sharingan cannot reach its full potential than normal. Maybe she got an accident, got kidnapped by Orochimaru and got experimented on, or just inborn. 

2) Who are her parents exactly? Is there more to their deaths?

Suggestion: This was a question hurled at the OC several times, but the answer was simply because they were ANBU nin. But maybe you could make it more interesting. Okay, we got the Uchiha and ANBU checked, but what if they were killed because of the coup the Uchiha was planning?

D) Characters
Azalea is okay, but her name kept bothering me because it isn't a Japanese name. But whether it is a Japanese name or not, you should make sure that her name, if made up, should sound Japanese at the very least. This is the Naruto world, and they don't have any country that isn't Japanese related. The Japanese barely use letter "L" because they tend to pronounce it as an English or British "R" (äw or ä-r). So technically, Azalea would end up being pronounced as "Azarea." But despite that, Azalea sounds more English than a Japanese name.

And Jacques is not a Japanese name, and clearly it is French. Please use only Japanese names in your characters, because it really bothered me, hahaha.

I was a little confused when Chapter 10: The Lonely Orchid suddenly had a change of description of Azalea. Wasn't she blue-eyed not brown-eyed?

Itachi was OOC, out of character. Because this devilishly handsome guy is supposed to be a pacifist ever since he was four-years-old. Seeing him so friendly is kinda weird, no offence. The chemistry between the two are great, that I admit. Although I have to say that Azalea's character could have been a little different instead of being the typical OC type: loud, reckless, brave, and emotional. She could have been a little more Uchiha-like, reserved and girly (in the sense that she's more demure). 

Then imagine her and Itachi together, him being passive most of the time yet he's the loyal ninja everyone sometimes doubt yet fully trust. Then imagine his slight smiles. Then put him and Azalea together.

>///<

That's all I could express.

Or he did not confess, but he shows some affection for her. It's like he's restrained to show feelings, but at the end he could have kissed her which could be before the massacre.

Although I recommend that they should have held their feelings a little. They're still young, but that's just my opinion.

E) Dialogue
You need to work on the dialogues. Not the content, but the presentation. The picture below is taken from Chapter 8: Fireball Jutsus and Tempers.

The purple part and blue means they both need to be in different paragraphs. There are too many things placed together and they might be confusing. This means the primary paragraph like the whole thing should be divided into three paragraphs. The purple is technically the second paragraph, and the blue is third. I encircle the comma because that should be a period. 

Her last dialogue "in front of your brother" Ends with a question mark. So you cannot continue the following sentence with a comma. Unless "in front of your brother" ended with a comma, then the line underlined with purple may end with a comma since it's an action made by the character, although I don't really recommend because of how lengthy it is.

Still from the same chapter, all the lines mean separate paragraphs. They're all too mixed together and it would confuse the reader. The purple line ends with a period. And I crossed out "as" because it is already unnecessary. NEVER make too lengthy sentences.

You actually have a lot of these in your book, so you should look through them and use my comments as a basis for those corrections. Don't make too lengthy paragraphs unless they are used for descriptions. But that doesn't mean they should be really long either.

F) Setting
Like many of the authors who asked me to review their book, this part was really lacking. Maybe it's just me because I'm a very visual person and I find this part one of the reasons why I love the book. If you've read my books you could see that I use a lot of descriptions to describe the scenery, what is happening, and even what the characters are thinking about.

Because you're using third POV, you have the upper hand in describing stuff compared to those books written in first POV. I couldn't imagine what exactly was happening, especially in the location parts and the list goes on. You're using third POV, harness that and help your readers picture what's going on. This also spices up the story.

G) Technicals
You've got a lot of technicals, which mean the grammar and paragraph naming. Okay, first: you should add numbers to your paragraphs instead of simply naming them. It would give the readers an easier time to identify how long the book is and where they are in the story.

Then second, would be the grammar. And I'm not talking about just words, but the punctuation as well. Taking note of what I've said earlier in the dialogue section, you should take note not to make too lengthy paragraphs because they should be divided unless it's a lengthy description. That includes the punctuation between the dialogue and the non-dialogue parts. You keep confusing the comma and periods in that perspective.

* * * * *

Concluding remarks:

As requested, I was super honest with this story. It had a lot of potential, and I hate to see the story wasted into the same category as many other stories. You told me that you rewrote the story more than a couple of times, and I guess you're once again up to rewrite it again. Yes, the story isn't the best out there, but I feel it. I feel Azalea. The story is good, but it's short and lacking.

It focused on the chemistry between Azalea and Itachi, but you missed to explain a lot of stuff like the girl's relation in the family tree of the Uchiha's and how close they are related. You also failed to give light to Itachi's standing in Sasuke's perspective, and also their social standing in the Village. You could widen their perspective a little, and I'm sure the story would attract a lot of more readers and you would fall in love with your story even more.

Don't give up, don't be discouraged, and always love your stories. Good luck with rewriting it, and I look forward to see improvements :)

- R