Book name: Beautiful Affection
Fandom: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Family, Comedy, Romance, Angst
Author: MissPerla09
POV: First person view
Content: 20 chapters
Status: Ongoing
Remarks: "I feel proud of myself because I worked harder for this story compared to other stories. I learned a lot after being a Wattpad user so in this story, I tried my best to apply all the writing tips that I got to absorb from a few experienced writers. The reason why do I think that it needs to get reviewed is because i want to know which part of writing that I am still lacking because I am really serious in it."

- Perla 

A) Cover - B+ (8.6)
...1) Image [ B ]
...2) Font [ C+ ]
...3) Color scheme [ A+ ]
...4) Resolution [ A+ ]
...5) Implicative Aspect [ C+ ]
...6) Impact [ B+ ]
...7) Meaning [ A+ ]

B) Description - B- (7.6)
...1) Style [ B ]
...2) Relevance [ C- ]
...3) Mysticism [ C- ]
...4) Neatness [ B+ ]

C) Storyline - B (8.2)
...1) Chapter length [ A+ ]
...2) Prioritization [ B+ ]
...3) Spotlights [ C+ ]
...4) Composition/Style [ D ]
...5) Presence of Plotline [ A- ]
...6) Originality [ A+ ]
...7) Efficiency [ C+ ]

D) Characters - A- (9.0)
...1) Accuracy [ B+ ]
...2) Description [ B+ ]
......a) Style
......b) Vividness
......c) Impact
......d) Originality (only OC characters)
...3) Presence [ A+ ]
......1) Scene distribution
......2) Contribution to story

E) Dialogue - B+ (8.7)
...1) Accuracy [ B+ ]
...2) Density/Weight [ B+ ]
...3) Language [ B+ ]
...4) Richness [ C+ ]
......a) Description of actions
......b) Linear to scene
......c) Creativity
...5) Length [ A- ]
...6) Delivery [ A- ]
...7) Neatness [ A- ]

F) Setting - C+ (7.0)
...1) Direction [ C+ ]
...2) Number of locations [ A+ ]
...3) Vividness [ E ]
...4) Scenario [ C+ ]
...5) Names [ E ]
......a) Locations
......b) Characters
......c) Others

G) Technicals - B (8.3)
...1) Errors [ C+ ]
......a) Grammar
......b) Punctuation
......c) Typo
...2) Arrangement [ C+ ]
...3) Encapsulation of idea [ B+ ]
...4) Mood [ C+ ]
...5) Book title [ A+ ]
...6) Genre relevance and accuracy [ A+ ]

* * * * * * * *

Verdict :
Book rating: 8.2/10.0 (B)
Potential: 60%

* * * * * * * *

A) Cover
The book cover is fairly alright actually, although the mash of images aren't really blending so well together. I mean, the characters were cut until their shoulders, and it results into something awkward but bearable. I could guess that you wanted to pick pictures from the anime, but there are always other pics that you could use. The fonts also could have been better picked, but yes, they do match the picture.

Overall though, it successfully captured the drama theme, but not the angst theme. Maybe a more serious color scheme would have done the job :)

B) Description
According to what happened in the first few chapters, I think pointing out Masato's view of the events occurring around him is better than starting with: "To Tokiya, . . ."

A start with: "He woke up confused, recollecting nothing of his past. Why? Why can't he remember anything?" So the description focuses on Masato's POV, rather than Tokiya, since the story starts with him. You could add how Tokiya feels, but that's up to you to decide. The story, after all, didn't start with Tokiya feeling bitter towards Masato, so revealing something like this isn't necessary. Not to mention that in the description Tokiya looks at Masato with disgust, but in the story he calls him a saint.

The key to angst is to not reveal much of the story, allowing them to engage the unknown. And as the story continues, more and more is revealed. I believe shorter descriptions are better than longer ones--the less to know, the better, haha.

C) Storyline
To be honest, I was intrigued by the story. I had a hard time coming in terms because I realized that it was going to be deep shit, like deep drama, hahahaha. I have to say the idea was great, and I loved how you went with it. From Masato's poor state, Eichii's resolve, Tokiya's emo self, and the pain of the other supporting characters. So good job!

The plot you made was pretty good. I didn't see anything wrong with it, but there are a few things you could improve on. Certain things like giving more appearance to the other STARISH members? They only appeared twice (or thrice?) between chapters 1-12. The drama, overall, was great. I loved it. I don't see a lot of fanfics with the characters turned adults, and not only that, they don't exactly have the petty teenage drama tropes that are popular these days. I applaud you for that :3

I was disturbed that Tokiya was going through shit (cuz he's my precious bean, ack) and I hope that his friends will be able to help him out! Though the adult-ish themes though might need some work. Maybe you could make it more thrilling for the readers? Just a suggestion. And you should work more on the delivery of dialogues, which I would be discussing later.

D) Characters
You did a good adult portrayal on all the characters actually. They stand true, except the fact that Tokiya openly calls himself a Stripper, which I honestly find weird. Like, dude, you being a model on certain occasions proves that you're already a stripper, but that goes with everyone who does the same. 

There are two characters though you couldn't keep true, unless you did that on purpose. Haruka--she needs a lot of work. Her personality with her friends isn't how she should be. Her dialogues in chapter 14 and even before that made her so different. She is supposed to be a really sweet girl who tried to fix everyone's problems because, yeah, she likes poking her nose where it shouldn't be. 

Tokiya, also is weird with his current personality. Why did you keep him cold, but worse? Isn't this happening after their debut, after their graduation? I don't see why he was behaving like scum until I read the portion that Saotome is the real scum, lololol. Maybe he should be more. . confused with his identity? I read this webtoon where celebrities get confused about their identity because they get hypnotized when they act. And when they get freed from that, nothing good happens after. Well, I do suggest that he feels pained that he has to be mean to his former friends, I think that would be a good approach to his character.

But overall, good job :3

E) Dialogue
This one really needs to get worked on. They sort of talk awkwardly--they're trying to sound like adults, but they are deathly honest with each other (talking about the confrontation between Masato and Tokiya). You need to make them sort of hold back? Like, instead of spouting out their feelings like a shotgun, they need to get really triggered to start spewing their emotions. They're adults, so they are less likely to say what they have in mind. Adults are complicated (:

Though I have to say that you did a good job here. They didn't have idle talk, and their conversations helped move the story, which is really, really fundamental and not everyone does a good job at it. 

Thumbs up :D

F) Setting
You also need to work on this one. Though you mention what the characters are doing, you don't describe or explain where they are. You've only mostly done monologues and dialogues, but people like seeing what you see. You have to give more setting: you say where they are, who are there. An example would be something like this: 

He didn't like being there: in a room filled with noise and people. He could smell the drinks' scents permeated like perfume. He could hear the boisterous laughter that deafened his ears. In that secluded corner, he scanned the crowd for someone to talk to from under the chandelier. Well, not like he ever wanted to trap himself in a parlor room in the first place.

I didn't need to describe what color or meticulous details about the room or the people, but you could already guess that he is at a party with a lot of people. And from my description: a formal party so readers could already start imagining where he is and etc. Don't just do dialogues and monologues.

The scenarios you placed together was good. You did a good job moving the story forward, but I think you also need to place scenes where you won't need monologues or dialogues. You simply describe what's happening, but without saying what's going on inside the  characters head. It's like those scenes in anime where the character is alone, but you wonder what's going on through his head.

G) Technicals
I know that English isn't your first language, which you have told me before so I tried to understand the grammar in the story. There were a lot of wrong verbs used and all, so I screenshotted parts of the story.

"Harumi stayed in her spot" is the correct one, sorry about that, lol.

So in your book, you actually often interchange can and could, though they are similar, they bring a different context. The shortest way I could explain the difference between the two is that when someone says, "You could buy that thing" he is suggesting that you buy that thing--an advice or encouragement. But when he says, "You can buy that thing" he is saying that buying that thing is an option for you. Using could is more on the encouraging, while can is more like giving you an option A or B.

Um, I don't know why you wrote "manifest feature" xD

"Tug clung" is not a term? You have to pick only one verb, you were double-verbing.

Anyway, so through the book, I see mistakes like this. Don't feel sullen, everyone makes grammatical mistakes, and that includes me as well. I'm not perfect either. I guess you simply need to learn your English and grammar better; rest assured, I've seen a lot of other writers who need more practice than you (: 

The thing about writing is that though you have to be descriptive, you don't need to be overly descriptive. Some people do over-descriptions to make the chapter longer, which was a mistake I did in the past. You should avoid doing this. You could see that I crossed out that sentence after Tokiya's response.

* * * * *

Concluding remarks:
Great job on your book! It's really deep and insightful, and it's refreshing to read something that actually delves into the dark industry of J-pop (K-pop technically since you did mention that you based it off of K-pop). I'm really sad for Tokiya, and I really do hope that he gets the justice he deserves. I was a fan of Uta no Prince-sama, though now I'm not so into watching the anime--if they make another season. I watched all the seasons, ahhahaa xD I only see it as a source material for a fanfic.

I'm really glad you asked me to read? It's an honor, and I know that you did say that I'm frank about my reviews and I really am. To grow is to not only grow from praise but from criticism. And I do hope my review is something you could ponder on. You have a lot of potential, I could see that. I really do apologize though for taking so long. Lots of stuff was going on, and you could even see that I had to take down Mic Drop, which I will work on after my current books.

I hope the review was helpful, and I wish you the best of luck on your writing. To be honest, I was scared from reading because I know deep shit when I see one, ahhahaha.

- R