Dear A,

Hey. How're you doing? I bet everything is going well. You're in college. You're in a university. Your life must be pretty exciting now.

I wonder if you'll ever ask me about how I'm doing. I don't think you'd ask anyway. That kind of stuff is in the past now. I miss those good old times. Yeah, I miss the memories.

But not you.

Well, I'm trying not to. It looks like I'm slowly making progress. You know, it's kind of funny of how I always think of what I'll do the moment you leave. The atmosphere is different without you, though. But, surprisingly, I'm actually fine without your presence.

Isn't that good?

I wonder how your classmates are doing now, by the way. You know, the classmates that you graduated with. Some of them visit school once in a while, while the other's could be seen around almost every week. You guys are lucky, though. You're the last batch to graduate. The next ones—like me—have to go through the K-12 system. They're adding two more years of high school. It sucks.

You'll be nineteen by the time I graduate high school, right? Our ages gap is just by a year, but our grade levels used to be two. I guess it would be four years now, which means you'll be graduating college when I start. Well, it depends on your course.

I remember how I used to motivate myself everyday that someday I would catch up to you. Isn't that funny? Wait—no. Hilarious, I mean. I was so stupid back then. I'm glad I gave up on you. I now see the faults I have made in my life. I shouldn't do them again. I don't think I can take it anymore. On purpose or by accident, I don't think it's possible now. Maybe...

Now that you're gone.

-J