Lolla was beginning to wake up, although her memory was kind of hazy. She opened her eyes as the sun coming through the window hit her face, making it scrunch up in annoyance.

How did she even manage to sleep that much? She was usually a heavy sleeper, but as she glanced at the clock on her nightstand, she saw that it was 1:03pm.

She really needed to fix her sleep schedule.

Flashbacks from the night before hit her as she regained her consciousness.

"I didn't know where else to go"

"You just get me. And I just get you. We are perfect for eachother"

"I'd repeat all of that sober"

"We are more alike then you think"

"I'd repeat all of that sober"

"I'd repeat all of that sober"

Rafe had came over drunk to her house, he confessed his feelings for her and slept in her bed.

Lolla turned around, expecting to see Rafe lying on the other side of the bed, but other than the messed up sheets, there was no sign that another person had slept in her bed.

Maybe he had placed to be since it was late anyway, maybe he had plans or something. Maybe this, maybe that.

However, the reason didn't matter over the obvious.

She felt disappointed, even though she shouldn't have been. That was how Rafe was, he always ran away from her.

Yet she couldn't shake away the feeling of abandonment that she had felt all her life settling in on her stomach like a sickness.

That feeling reminded her of the baggie of cocaine sitting behind the clothes in her closet.

It was such an easy escape, to get high and to not feel the pain of the people that had disappointed her over and over again, or to be that faded enough that she wouldn't be able to process that feeling.

Her body ached for that release, for that escape. She probably sat there staring at her closet for 10 minutes, she was so close to walking over there and snorting so much of the drug that she would forget about all her sorrows.

But her phone buzzed on the nightstand next to her, taking her out of the temporary trance she had entered. As she reached over to grab her phone, she realized she had gotten a text.

JJ: Hey, can we talk?

Fucking hell.

——

"I didn't think you'd show" JJ said, his face filled with surprise as Lolla walked over to him.

She had agreed to meet up with him on a small road with multiple different shops, which was next to the beach, that was centered right in between Figure 8 and the Cut.

She agreed to meet up with him because firstly, she was actually curious about what he had to say, and secondly she needed to get a certain 6'4, blue eyed dirty blonde out of her head.

"Guess we are both full of surprises then" She said while giving him a small fake smile, he got what she was implying immediately.

"Here I uh-I got you a Fanta. I know how much you like them" He said as he handed her the can, she took it from him and slightly raised an eyebrow.

"Are you trying to bribe me to hearing you out Maybank?"

"Why is it working?"

She simply rolled her eyes as she took a sip of the drink. She really had a soft spot for it, and he knew it.

"Walk with me?" He asked in a soft tone, to which she simply nodded.

The two teens walked next to each other in silence for a while. Lolla noticed how JJ was fidgeting with his lighter, something he always did while he was nervous.

She couldn't blame him, this was an awkward situation. He had recently cheated on her, practically broke her heart and also called her a whore.

They made their way to a dock, which some of the rich Kook kids liked to set their yachts at. But it did have a bench with a really nice view, so she wasn't complaining.

"I'm sorry" JJ said as they sat down. She looked at him, trying to plaster that look of indifference over her true feelings.

Even though she hadn't fallen in love with him, she did love him, and cared about him. The whole situation had hurt her, as much as she tried to hide it.

"I haven't really done this before so bear with me" JJ sighed.

"I think I need a cigarette for this" Lolla muttered under her breath as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, giving him one out of habit.

Both teens lit their cigarettes, and stared out at the ocean, before JJ began speaking again.

"I know you have no reason to believe me for what I'm about to tell you, but I genuinely didn't want to hurt you Lolo. With Kiara it's just... I never really realized I had feelings for her, not until she came onto me anyway. I guess those feelings just... they were always there in some way?"

"You really are bad at this" She said as she looked at him, fighting the urge to laugh at how bad he was.

"Wait no I don't mean it like that. What we had was real, at least on my side. You didn't judge me for who I was, you didn't care about the shit I've been through, and I let my insecurities get in the way of our relationship time and time again. I just never really felt good enough for you, if that even makes sense." He took a long drag out of his cigarette.

"You really are one of the kindest people I've ever met Lolla, and I took advantage of it, and for that I'm sorry"

She should've been mad, probably slapped him for what she just said but that just wasn't her. Lolla actually believed what JJ had said, and she appreciated the truth from him.

"Was it worth it at least?" She asked him in a soft tone.

"I hate how I hurt you, I hate the way I did it. I really should have talked to you about Kiara beforehand" He dodged the question, not wanting her to feel worse than she already did.

"Listen JJ, in all honesty, we weren't each other's person. I had some great times with you, like really great times. We had fun together. But at the end of the day it comes down to how we couldn't communicate, like at all. And it isn't just on your side, I also had shit I didn't tell you."

"My point is that you should always go for what feels right, and if that's Kiara, then good for you. But you should've handled it differently."

"I know, I know"

They both remained silent again for a little while, just staring out into the ocean while smoking their cigarettes, it was oddly therapeutic.

"Does the shit you didn't tell me have something to do with the Kook king himself?" JJ asked as he turned to look at her. She didn't even have to answer, the truth was plastered all over her blushed face.

"You're smarter than you put yourself out to be"

"So? What about him?"

"Are we seriously doing this? Talking about other people with each other like nothing ever happened between us? I didn't cheat on you if that's what you're asking." She said, her words filled with discrete anger and sadness.

"Im not asking that. I just, fuck I don't want to lose you Lolo, as selfish as that sounds. You truly brought light into my life, and I want to stay your friend if you'll have me" He said as he took her free hand, the one that wasn't holding the cigarette, into his.

She just looked into his eyes, she had trusted him and cared about him so much, she couldn't do this, she just knew she couldn't.

"It still hurts JJ" She confessed, her voice slightly cracking under all the different emotions she was feeling.

"I know, I'm not expecting you to forgive me right away, but I'll still be here for you like I promised. If you'll have me anyway"

Those were some of the words she had wished to hear for so long, to have someone to be there for her. She was practically forgetting that this guy cheated on her.

"Get your hands off of her Maybank" she heard that all too familiar voice say. She didn't even have to turn around to see who it was. But she did anyway.

When she turned her head, she saw Rafe staring at where JJ held her hand, his gaze filled in nothing but fury.

But then, his gaze turned to look at her. To her disappointment though, that fury did not stop.

"I'd repeat all of that sober"

"Rafe-"

"What the hell are you doing here with him?"
-
author note:
love the cliffhanger
sorry for not updating so frequently btw
anyway
don't forget to vote!!! it helps me so much!!