Warning: talk of parental abuse, talk of self harm

Lolla had just taken a shower, she needed to clear her head. Especially after what happened with Rafe two days ago.

Showers always calmed her down. When her mind was too much of a mess, she always took a hot shower, letting the burning water hit her skin, almost like she cleansed herself from all her dark thoughts.

She just sat on her bed, scrolling through her phone, trying to keep her mind off of all those ugly thoughts.

She hadn't talked to Rafe since the whole incident with the cocaine.

That was until she heard a sound outside of her window. Sounded like a person.

She stood up and approached the window, and she started hearing more clearly. The person outside was calling her name. She pushed her curtains to the side, revealing Rafe Cameron with a beer in his hand.

"Oh Lolla! Come out come out!" He said, struggling to stand straight.

"Rafe? What the hell are you doing it's 4 in the morning" She whisper yelled while putting her head out of her window.

"I uh, I just wanted to uh, see you" he said, taking another sip of his beer

"Just wait there, I'm coming down" she ordered him while shutting the window.

She quietly opened her bedroom door, not wanting to wake her mom up and walked downstairs. When she opened the door, she saw Rafe sitting on her front porch, facing the ocean.

She just went and sat next to him, wrapping her arms around herself since it was cold and she was wearing a tank top.

"You okay?" She asked, genuinely concerned about Rafe.

"Lo! You came!" He said excitedly while pulling her into a hug, making her flinch. She didn't have the best experience with people when they were drunk, she had her father to thank for that. "I missed you" he dug his head on the crook of her neck.

This was strange, really strange behavior from him considering the argument they had gotten into, and how they hadn't talked for days.

She discreetly pulled the beer bottle away from him, not wanting him to get even drunker then he already was.

She pulled his face up to check if he was okay, and she was left in horror.

His eye was black, his lip and nose were bleeding and there was a cut on his neck.

"Who did this Rafe?"

Rafe couldn't reply. He just started at the girl, but his expression said it all.

In that moment, Lolla could see her reflection in his eyes, both literally since he was about to cry, and because she sympathized with him.

She used to be him, she could feel his pain in her heart.

At that moment, staring into his eyes, she felt so connected with him. She felt as if his pain was projecting onto her. As if she could feel the pain of the black eye. As if she could feel her father punching her.

"I'm so sorry" she said, giving him a tight hug. They just sat there for a few minutes, Rafe was quietly sobbing onto the girls hair, while she wrapped her arms around him, not wanting to let him go.

"Hey let's go upstairs and get you cleaned up okay?" she asked and he nodded. She sat up and gave him her hand, in case he needed more support to walk.

When they went in her room, she locked the door, not wanting her mother to walk in and question her. She took him by his hand and led him to the bathroom, where he sat at the edge of the counter.

Lolla dug through her cabinets, trying to find rubbing alcohol. Rafe was just staring at the ceiling, he was numb.

When she found it she took out a cotton pad and applied some on. "This is gonna burn a bit okay?" she said before rubbing his cut on his neck, making him wince in pain.

There was a comfortable silence while she was cleaning up his wounds. Rafe felt safe when he was with her. He felt understood and accepted.

"I'm sorry I came here, I just- I didn't know where else to go" he quietly said, his eyes on the floor.

"Never apologize for something like this" she reassured him.

He just stared at her. She was too good for this world. Her heart was too pure. Even after all the shit he had put her through, she still cared. He wanted to protect her from all harm. He wanted to keep her safe from anyone that would try to hurt her.

"It was dad" he said, his voice breaking.

"I know" she told him in a sad tone, looking up at him. She stared at him before wrapping her arms around him. He placed his head on top of hers and just cried. He hated crying infront of other people, but it was different with Lolla.

"I can't stand him Lo. I hate him so much" he said in between sobs, causing Lolla to tear up. "He hates me too, all I ever wanted was for him to love me, or even to appreciate me" he said.

"I have no one, my whole family hates me, my friends hate me, I just-" he said before being cut off.

"You have me. I'll always be here for you Rafe. Always" she said, cupping his face.

She felt so bad for him. She couldn't believe that he was talking about himself like that.

"God why did I let you get away Lo?" He asked, rubbing his hand on his face.

"What do you mean I'm still here-"

"Oh you know what I mean. You are here as my friend. I fucked up really bad. I should have never went with Mandy. She could never compare with you. She's a girl that just wanted to get laid. You are so beautiful and caring and amazing"

Lolla just sat there speechless. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if she should say anything.

"And the whole thing at that stupid dinner. I can't believe I hurt you. I can never forgive myself for that day.  And with the drugs- I just-I don't think I've ever met anyone that understands me the way you do. You just get me. And I just get you. We are perfect for eachother" he said, holding her hands.

A few moments of silence passed, the two teens just holding each others hands, looking at each other.

Lola would never admit it, but she was feeling butterflies in her stomach chasing each other. She couldn't be feeling this way. He had treated her like shit, she kept reminding herself.

"Rafe you're drunk" Lolla replied quietly, looking away from him, not wanting to know what would happen if she continued this intense eye contact.

"I'd repeat all of that sober" he said with a straight face, making Lola turn around and face him again.

He dropped her hands and rubbed his palm on his forehead. "I know you hate me now. I let you get away. I pushed you out of my life. I'm so fucking stupid."

"How about you sleep and we talk about this in the morning? Sound good?" She said, trying desperately to end the conversation.

He just nodded in defeat and walked out of the bathroom. Lolla just kept standing there, looking at herself in the mirror. No one had ever spoken that way about her and she didn't know how to feel about it.

She turned around to look inside the room when she heard a thud. Rafe fell on her bed and looked like he passed out. She walked up to him, she removed his shoes and put a blanket over him.

Lolla loved taking care of others, sometimes a bit too much. There have been many times where she had put other people's needs before her own, leading to catastrophe.

She opened the door as she was about to leave to go to the guest room.

"Please stay with me" she heard Rafe mumble.

She turned around to face him.

"I shouldn't" she whispered quietly.

"Stay with me as a friend then. Even as an enemy or whatever just stay with me. Please Lo"

When she heard that please, she was reminded by all the times she begged for her father's attention and he never gave it to her. All the times she begged her mother to leave him. All the times where she was alone and begged god to take her out of her misery.

She quietly shut the door and walked towards the bed, before laying down next to Rafe. They were both looking at the ceiling, not saying anything.

"I saw your wrist that day at the party" he said quietly, breaking the silence.

Her eyes widened as he said that. Wrist? The party?

He looked down at her wrist and saw some faded scars. She noticed this and pulled her hand away.

She suddenly remembered what he talked about. The party where he begged for forgiveness and she didn't give it to him.

Lolla turned her whole body to the side to face him, which he did the same thing.

"You don't have to talk about it, just know that I understand" he said, making Lolla look at his arm, she had never noticed this before, but he had several scars of cigarette burns on his arm.

Lolla knew that if Rafe was sober, he would have never showed her those. He would had found a way to keep them hidden. To keep this part of his life hidden.

"You and me Lo, we are more alike then you think" he said as he brushed the strand that always fell in front of her face behind her ear.

There was a moment of silence between the two teenagers. A moment of understanding.

"I wish it wasn't like this" she said, her voice breaking and her lower lip trembling.

"I wish it wasn't like this too" he said, before pulling her into a hug.

This hug was way more than a hug. It was Lolla putting all of her sorrows onto him, and him doing the same in return. It connected them in a way that they didn't know was possible.

How do you even walk away from something like that?

Or, can you even walk away from something like that?
-
authors note:
their relationship is so complicated, like omg.
I'm sorry for all the late updates, I've been so busy.
Also, thank you so much for more than 14k reads! It's means so much to me.
I never expected people to like this book and for it to gain so much attraction, honestly I just wrote it for fun.
Please don't forget to vote and leave some comments! It helps boost the story!