Please read the authors note at the end of the chapter.

"Come on Lo, get up" she heard a voice say as she was in her half asleep- half awake trance.

She groaned and rolled over the other side of the bed. Lolla had never been a morning person, she actually hated the mornings.

And withdrawal hadn't been helping with that.

"What time is it?" She asked as she sat up on the bed on her elbows, opening her eyes a bit.

"It's a bit before 10" Rafe said, who was sat on the edge of her bed.

Lolla groaned as she fell back onto the bed, snuggling her face up against the pillow and closing her eyes again.

"You're crazy if you think im getting up right now" she mumbled.

Rafe was not a patient man, at all. So he did the thing that seemed logical in his head, he pulled her blanket off of her. She was wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top as she was resting on her side.

"What the hell?!" She complained as her eyes were now fully open.

"I told you to get up, didn't I?" He said as he gave her an amused smirk, probably proud of himself for waking her up.

"What do I need to get up for anyway?" She asked as she ran a hand through her hair, to calm it down since she had just woken up.

"We are going golfing today" He stated. He was trying to come up with any idea to help her emotionally with what she was going through.

"Pass"

"Oh come on Lo, you need to get out of bed eventually. You shouldn't waste your whole summer locked up in here"

He had a point. She had already spent a week and a half locked up in her room. JJs betrayal triggered all her past trauma, and she couldn't deal with it.

She didn't want to go in public, she felt weak, vulnerable. Especially because of her withdrawal, she's been feeling even weaker the past few days.

But she missed going out,  she missed the sun and the beach. She missed it.

"God I hate golfing" she groaned while rolling over on the bed, snuggling her head against the pillow.

"You haven't tried it with me though have you? Come on, I promise it will be fun" Rafe pleaded with her.

It actually didn't seem like such a bad idea. Golfing, at the country club with Rafe, who was the only person who had been there for her through this.

What could do wrong?

"Fine then, get out so I can get dressed"

——

"You really are bad at this" Rafe said with a small chuckle as he watched her fail at golfing.

Lolla snapped her head around to where Rafe was leaning his back against a golf cart. He was wearing a blue polo shirt, some basic cargo shorts and he had a backwards cap covering his hair.

God he looked hot.

"Well I warned you I didn't like golfing, didn't I?" She replied as she gave him a sarcastic smile.

Lolla was dressed in a white tennis skirt with a tank top, the only stuff she could found in her closet with the short notice Rafe gave her on golfing.

It was a Thursday, so the golf course was almost empty.

That's what she thought anyway before she heard a familiar voice.

"Rafe my man"

"Oh hey Top, didn't know you'd be coming out today" Rafe said as he gave his best friend a small smile.

"I'd never miss out on golfing would I?" Topper replied before he referred his attention to the shorted brunette next to him "And who do you have here?" He said as he looked her up and down, his gaze lingering on her breasts for a few moments.

"Nice too see you too Topper" She replied trying to be polite, but certainly not missing his uncomfortable stare.

Men.

"Pleasures all mine sweetheart" He said while giving her a smirk. She could see Rafes jaw tensing from the corner of her eye as Topper called her that.

"Weren't you supposed to hang with Sarah today?" Rafe asked.

"Nah, she canceled last minute. Supposedly to go do her nails or some shit, I don't even know man" Topper said while running his hand through his sweaty hair.

More like do John B, but Topper didn't need to know that.

"Hey listen man, you got anything on you? I need to blow off some steam" Topper asked, she didn't really understand what he was referring to before she saw Rafe reaching into his pocket.

"Oh yea, I got you man" Rafe said as he handed Topper a small plastic baggie filled with a white substance.

Cocaine.

Lolla felt like she froze. She hadn't seen cocaine since she almost overdosed a little over a week ago.

She watched Topper form some lines on the front of the golf cart, without a care in the world that someone could see him. Almost as if he didn't care that cocaine was illegal.

She didn't move. She felt as if any move she made would be the wrong one in that moment.

Her body craved it so badly, so badly. But her feet kept her away from it, stabilising her on the ground a few feet away from the two men taking turns on snorting lines.

"You want some sweetheart?" Topper asked as he leaned his head back and snorted whatever of the substance hadn't gone up his nose. His words unforced her.

"No I uh- I'm good thanks" she said as she gave him another small polite smile, stills standing where she was.

"Really? Wasn't it you who was cracking up lines at my party?" Topper said as he chuckled in a low menacing tone, making a chill run down Lollas spine at the memory.

Doing cocaine, getting drunk, getting high and partying. Her body was screaming at her from the inside out to go back to that lifestyle.

"Yea that was me" she managed to say, even though she felt her throat closing in on her.

"So why don't you want some? Scared you might get caught? Trust me the workers here don't give a shit about stuff like that, all they care about is getting paid" Topper said, oblivious to how uncomfortable she was in that moment.

She looked over at Rafe, hoping that he would stand up to her on this, but he was too busy snorting up the drug to even hear the conversation.

Honestly, she couldn't give a shit is someone saw her, that wasn't what she cared about.

She was scared, scared that if she went down that path again there would be no going back.

"No I just- I don't want any. Seriously I'm fine, I should get going anyway" she said trying to come up with any excuse to get the hell away from there in that moment.

Her body fighting against her mind to stay there, that's what drugs had done to her.

"Where too?" Rafe asked as he walked up to the two talking. His pupils were dilated and he had taken his hat off, his hair messy from running his hand through it.

"I should check up on John B I guess" she said the first thing that came to her mind. Both boys stiffened up at the mention of his name, and both for different reasons.

Topper walked back to where the boys had left the small baggie of cocaine and went to probably snort some more.

"JJ gonna be there?" Rafe asked, no hint of affection or care in his voice. His tone was cold.

"I mean, I suppose not. I don't know" she replied truthfully.

"Just stay here and do a line Lo, no need to be so uptight all the time"

She could not believe her ears. The same guy who watched her go through withdrawal, saw her at one of the lowest points in her life, picked her up when he almost overdosed on cocaine was encouraging her to do some.

"I don't want a line" she replied in a stern voice.

"It's just one, seriously it's not that big of a deal" Rafe said, his gaze almost bored at this conversation.

"I'm leaving" she said as she attempted to turn around before Rafe blocked her from leaving with his body.

"You're not going anywhere" He spoke in a low cruel tone that he had never used on her before

"Rafe-"

"It's just one line, come on I'll show you" he said as he took some of the white powder onto the back of his palm, tilted his head back and snorted it all. "just like this. See? Not that big of a deal"

"Rafe no" she said as she shook her head. Rafe was either ignoring her on purpose or too high out of his mind to actually listen to her.

He placed some more of the substance on the back of his hand and brought it close to her, signalling her to snort it. She shook her head slightly again as she put her head slightly back.

"Come on" he said as he snaked his other arm around her waist, trapping her from leaving.

She was scared. Scared because she couldn't leave but mostly scared at how tempted she was.

"Rafe stop" she said as she put her head to the side, to not even look at him.

"Just snort this shit Lo" he said as he put the back of his palm closer to her face.

"I said no Rafe" she repeated.

"Come on" his hand was dangerously close to her nose, one small move and she would have cocaine on her face.

"Let me go!" She said louder as he pushed his hand out of the way, almost as if her body entered fight or flight mode.

Rafe looked at the cocaine dropping from his hand and onto the ground frozen, and as she took a step away from him he let his hand fall from her waist.

What had he done?

In his high state he thought that maybe this could be something that they could do together, something that could have brought them closer. He was wrong, but wasn't going to admit that.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, feeling tears welling up in her eyes.

"Won't you relax already? It's just cocaine, it won't kill you" He said as if it was the simplest thing on earth.

"But it almost did remember?" She replied in a sad tone, flashbacks from that night invading her memory.

"Oh right, when you went insane when your Pogue of a boyfriend cheated on you, how can I forget" He spoke in a cruel tone.

"You know damn well it's not about that" Lolla had told Rafe everything about Noah, she had trusted him with this and now he was using it against her. It hurt her deeper than she thought it would.

"Sure looked like it" He replied, his gaze not leaving hers as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I can't believe you" She said before she walked off.

"Don't bother calling me when you get high and need a fucking uber at your service!" He yelled after her.

She didn't even turn back too look at him once

—
authors note:
I wanted to start this off by saying that this is not an accurate representation of cocaine addiction. I have been lucky enough to never encounter someone with such a disease, but nonetheless this fanfic is fiction, so stuff such as the withdrawal symptoms, and the effects cocaine have on the characters are not accurate.

also sorry for not updating for so long, I have been SO busy with school it's honestly insane.

I hope you liked this chapter! Rafe pissed me off ngl but im trying to keep his character the way it was on the show and not turning him into a softie.

Don't forget to vote and leave a comment!

Predictions about future chapters???