As the days passed, Joker began to withdraw more and more. He would always have an excuse to be away from you, he would barely talk to you, and he would never be physically affectionate. Every night, you were now sleeping on opposite sides of the bed when you used to cuddle.

   You were no fool. You knew why he was avoiding you like this: obviously, he was displeased at your fumble with Two-Face a few days ago. You had once again branded yourself as the weak link on the team, and it had inevitably started to affect Joker.

   You had tried everything to get him to talk to you, but he just blew you off every time. You even offered to stay home on missions, that way you wouldn't ruin anything else for him. But, he didn't even seem interested in that.

   You were beginning to wonder if maybe he would follow through on the deal you two had struck so long ago. You had assumed it had been withdrawn the moment you two got together, but he was treating you like a stranger now. That really made you question if he was going to make good on his promise.

   And, in spite of yourself, you began to fear him. You knew better than anyone what he was capable of.

   Presently, you were slumped on the couch, glass of wine in hand. Joker was nowhere to be seen, as per usual nowadays. The rest of your team was also off going God knows what.

   Well, except for Frost, that is.

   He was awkwardly sat beside you, aiming to provide comfort that he didn't know how to bring. He was more like a silent observer than anything, so you still felt quite alone. After all, there was a barrier preventing even your closest friend from providing any sort of solace.

   As the minutes of complete and utter silence ticked by, the awkwardness finally got to Frost. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

   You nodded in acknowledgment, taking a generous gulp of wine. While sweet, that apology did nothing to numb your pain.

   "You should talk to him," he went on.

   You looked at him in bewilderment. "Are you kidding? I have. You've been there when I've tried."

   He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I know, I know. I just don't know what other advice I can give. I don't want your relationship to go to shit."

   "Please. This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to you. You've been against us from the start."

   He averted his eyes guiltily. "I have been, but I still want you to be happy. And I know he makes you happy. So, trust me, I get no gratification from this."

   You snorted, sipping your wine. "Bullshit."

   He frowned. "You don't need to be a dick. I'm just trying to help."

   "Well, you're going about it wrong."

   "How so?"

   "You're trying to give advice. Advice that's useless, since I've already tried to talk to him! I just want...camaraderie, I guess. Support! Not a solution. I'm starting to think there is no solution, and I assume you haven't asked J to find out if there is one. Have you?"

   "As a matter of fact, I have."

   Feeling humbled, you softened your tone a bit. "Oh. What happened?"

   "I asked if everything was okay between you two. He said it was, and I told him you would like to talk to him."

   He didn't continue, so you prodded. "And what did he say?"

   He averted his eyes again. "He said he wasn't interested."

   You felt your heart crack. Being stubborn to your face was one thing, but being stubborn behind your back was another thing entirely. That meant that he wasn't feeling an ounce of hesitation in shutting you out like this, and he would stand by it no matter who confronted him. Even his best friend.

   "Yeah, so me talking to him is definitely gonna work," you said sarcastically, wiping at the tears that began to fall. "You're his best friend, man. If he won't even listen to you, he's not gonna listen to the person he's mad at."

   Frost looked hurt by your hurt. "I know. I just know you love him. And he loves you, too. As much as he's capable, anyway. I just don't want this to be the end if it doesn't have to be. I don't want you to give up until he spells it out for you."

   "I don't know if I can handle him spelling it out for me. I feel like I'd rather live in denial with a partner who won't speak to me."

   "No, you wouldn't. You know that. It'd hurt in the moment, but it'd be better in the long run."

   You nodded, setting your wine glass on the table in front of you. Overcome with emotion, you buried your face in your hands, feeling lonelier than you ever had.

   You felt Frost's hand pat your back. "Just keep trying. If you do, you'll get your answer eventually. And what you need is an answer."

   You felt tears begin to form, but you blinked them away. You could not succumb to your loneliness. Otherwise, you'd never be able to muster the motivation to keep trying.

   You sat up straight, rolling your eyes to the ceiling in order to prevent the tears from falling. "Now?" you asked. "Should I try now?"

   He shrugged. "Couldn't hurt. We're not doing anything today, and he should be in a decent mood. Well, as decent of a mood as he can be in."

   You began to feel anxiety creep into your mind. This was odd, considering Joker had been your biggest source of comfort, both since you were dating and before. He was a constant. An anchor for you whenever you strayed. Yet now, you were lost at sea with no way to reach him. And every time you tried, you failed. All you could do was hope that today would be different.

   You stood up, letting out a shaky breath. "Then I guess I'll go try."

   Frost smiled softly. "Proud of you."

   "Thanks." You looked at him, almost asking silently if he'd be there when you got back, come what may.

   His eyes told you that yes, he would.

   You figured that Joker was probably locked away in his office, so you began to head that way. You hoped and prayed that when you got there, he'd cut this act and kiss you already. You hadn't been kissed in days, and you couldn't even begin to verbalize how much you missed that kind of intimacy.

   You were a little out of breath once you got to his floor. You stood still to catch your breath, but it was apparent that you were just stalling the inevitable.

   Once breathing came easy again, you slowly made your way across your apartment. His office door was open a crack, and you paused as you could hear voices through it.

   One of those voices belonged to your love, and the other belonged to a woman.

   For a split second, you assumed the worst. Images of them in bed together flashed through your brain. Images of him doing exactly what he did to Harley, just to you instead. Images of your trust shattered, your life ruined.

   You quickly realized that they were simply talking, causing you to let out a shaky sigh of relief. Still, you didn't go inside. You had a strange feeling that you should stick around and listen, much like you had that day Dennis was shot. You certainly hoped this snooping session wouldn't result in another death.

   The conversation seemed to be about business. Two-Face, specifically. They talked about strategy, where he could be hiding, what his weaknesses were. Your heart hurt at the fact they felt like they couldn't even include you in this conversation. Even though you had offered to stay out of it, it was a little insulting that you had been taken up on your offer, especially since that led to your boyfriend and his ex having a one-on-one conversation.

   As the innocent conversation progressed, you remained outside the door. You were waiting for something. You didn't know what, but you weren't confident that everything had been said.

   And finally, you understood why you had waited when your name was thrown into the mix. Just like the day Dennis was shot.

   "Should we bring (Y/N) next time we look for him?" asked Harley.

   Joker answered too quickly. "No."

   Your stomach twisted. Even though you had offered, you knew that he knew you always wanted to be there with him. Even if it meant putting yourself in serious danger.

   "Why not?" Harley said, though you were sure she knew. Everyone knew.

   "Because she's...a liability. She's accomplished little to nothing while being on my team. The only reason she's so feared is because she mooches off of me and my reputation," he replied.

   "But you love her."

   "No. I don't."

   You could just feel your heart shatter.

   "Ya do," she insisted. "Even if you won't admit it. Ya need to bring her along because you love her. Make her feel like she's a part of your life, and part of the team. Even if she won't do much."

   "As far as I'm concerned, she's not a part of my life. She's not a part of the team. She's a hindrance, Harls. She's fucked up everything I have ever planned, and I can't kill her for it. And I'm sick of it! I can't even look her in the eyes after what happened a few days ago, but I can't fucking kill her. She's mine. She belongs to me, and I can't kill her."

   An odd mix of fear and anger began to creep into your body. You were terrified that the thought had even crossed his mind, and you were angry that you didn't mean more to him.

   "Either she's not in your life or she belongs to you," said Harley calmly. "Ya can't have it both ways, puddin'. You need to make a decision right now. Does she stay, or does she go?"

   There was a silence on the other end of the door. It lasted a long time, stretching into what felt like infinity to your waiting ears. Deep down, you knew that pause was your answer.

   "Before you answer," she added, almost hastily, "I don't think you should kill her. I don't think you'd be able to live with yourself if ya did. If you're gonna let her go, do what ya did to me. Just toss her out and let her rebuild her life."

   Joker let out a low groan, seemingly at war with himself. "Harls," he said quietly.

   "Puddin'. If you're not immediately saying that you want her to stay, I think we both know what that means."

   You both loved and hated Harley for this bluntness. On one hand, she was preventing you from being strung along in a one-sided relationship. On the other, she was crushing your delusions of everything working out in the end.

   "Okay," mumbled the man you loved. "She's out."

   The hurt you experienced from hearing this was so profound; more profound than you had ever felt. It felt as if someone had punched you in the stomach, stealing your breath and making you double over in pain. Joker was your entire world, and he had turned you away after you had fully let your guard down. You were so confident that nothing could break the bond you two shared, yet here you were, single once again. Your chest felt empty, your mind hazy with that fear/rage combination. You wanted to both punch him and cry in his arms. You were so hysterical that you could scarcely control your own actions as you barreled into the room, needing to face him one last time before you were done for good.

   He and Harley looked just as surprised as you felt. He opened his mouth to speak, but you were quicker.

   "And you didn't even have the decency to fucking tell me what was going on! What you were feeling!" Your rage was taking over as you watched Harley, who was perched on the desk he was sitting behind with her legs practically in his lap. You were willing to bet that they'd be back together within the week.

   "(Y/N), just stop," he said tiredly, running a hand down his face. "It's done. It's over, doll. There's no use fighting me. Just...pack your shit and get out."

   His apathy was infuriating. You stormed up to the desk, seized a glass of wine that was on it, and chucked it at the wall. Harley covered her ears as the glass shattered noisily, the wine inside leaving a stain on the wall. You weren't sure what you were trying to declare by doing this, other than the fact that you were beyond angry. "So you can fuck her?! Huh?!"

   "Sugar, I swear it's not like that!" Harley said, raising her hands in surrender as if she'd be the target of the next hurled object.

   "If I wanted to fuck her, I would've fuckin' done it already," hissed Joker. "I take what I want when I want it. I don't give a fuck how it makes others feel."

   "Not even me? Not even the woman you claimed to care about so much?" You picked up a second wine glass from his desk and sloshed its contents onto Joker, who, while displeased, did not look surprised in the slightest.

   He wiped off his face with his sleeve. "No. Not even you." He stood up from his desk, towering over you. "I liked ya. I did. But I think you overestimated how much. Now I'm going to tell you one last time. Get. The. Fuck. Out."

   And just like that, your anger gave way to sadness at the finality of his words. There was no fighting for him, no changing his mind. His icy eyes were staring at you with the most conviction you'd ever seen, the most intense hatred you'd ever seen.

   Tears poured down your face faster than you could wipe them. You wanted to have an epic moment like Harley did. You wanted to hold him at gunpoint before shooting him in the arm and storming off. But, you couldn't. All you could do was stare at the man you loved. The man who would never love you. All you could do was continue to show him just how weak you really were.

   Harley hopped off the desk and wrapped an arm around you, guiding you to the room's exit.

   "Wait," you sobbed, throwing her arm off of you and turning back around. You looked at Joker, who had sat down again. He didn't even look up at you.

   You swallowed the lump in your throat. "How much did you like me?"

   He glanced up at you with a mocking smile before immediately returning his gaze to whatever paperwork he had been looking at. "About as much as I liked her."

   Up until that moment, you had been hoping that you were different. Even if you had overestimated his care, you had at least made him feel like no other woman had. But, that had been a lie, too. That one last shred of importance was ripped away from you, leaving behind the painful realization that your worst fears had been true. You were nothing more than a joyride. A hot fuck and a ball and chain.

   Yet, you still yearned for him. You wanted his attention, even though you knew you deserved so much better. So, you timidly approached his desk. "Can I kiss you one more time before I go?" It was not lost on you how pathetic you sounded. But, this pain was unthinkable, and you knew that his touch would soothe it, if only for a moment.

   You were an even bigger fool than Harley had been.

   He nodded, standing up and opening his arms. "Come to me, baby."

   And you did, despite knowing that it was wrong to listen to him. You fell into his embrace, sobbing into his chest. You inhaled deeply, smelling him one last time before you'd never see each other again. You made sure to remember that smell. It was your comfort in your darkest times.

   You felt his pointer finger nudge your chin upward so that you were looking at him. You thought you saw sorrow in his expression, but you couldn't be sure. He brought your lips to his for one last kiss.

   It wasn't everything you had hoped. It was soft and slow, but it lacked the sweetness your other kisses had. It lacked the emotional connection. You soaked his face with your tears, but he didn't seem to mind.

   When you pulled apart, he muttered, "Still beautiful, even when ya cry."

   His thumb swiped at a tear that was rolling down your face. You closed your eyes, savoring these last few touches from who you knew was your soulmate. Even if you weren't his, he was yours, which just made this so much harder.

   And with that, he returned to his desk and sat back down. "Harls, would ya mind helping (Y/N) pack?"

   She nodded solemnly, grabbing your hand and beginning to lead you out of the room. "We can pack later," she whispered to you. "Let's just go for a walk first. Clear your mind."

   "Okay," you breathed, your head turned so you could watch Joker for as long as you could before leaving. You memorized his pale skin, his neon hair, his tattoos.

   You didn't look away from him until Harley shut the door behind the two of you.