TW: VERY BRIEF MENTIONS OF SEX/NUDITY!!

   Joker wrapped his arms around you, locking you into a tight embrace. You returned the gesture, and, to some extent, appreciated it. But, the decision that loomed over you almost numbed your senses. You didn't feel his embrace like you usually would; he seemed further away, and like he was only grazing you instead of holding you tight.

"Harley Quinn," you laughed dryly. "Harley Quinn wants to join our team."

"Shh. Just take a moment before you say anything else. I know this is overwhelming."

"J, stop. I don't need a fucking moment. I need to have a fucking answer."

"Don't talk to me like that." He pulled apart from the hug, still keeping a firm hold on both of your arms. "I'm trying to help you."

"And you're doing a great job at it."

Your sarcasm was not lost on him. His eyes flashed with anger as he set his jaw in indignation, letting you go. "Could ya stop being an insolent little bitch for one second?"

You flinched at his wording, thoroughly wounded. You knew you had been overreacting to this decision. But, it felt so significant to you. It felt like your fate was solely in your own hands, and all you could do was take a gamble; after all, what if Harley had some ulterior motive, and she didn't help at all? What if you died in response to that? On the flip side, though, what if she was telling the truth? And what if denying her help was what got you killed? It was also worth mentioning that her constant presence would stress you out, knowing that she had loved your boyfriend at one point. This just boggled your mind more, making every course of action sound unappealing.

Regardless of your unnecessary reaction, though, you did not want Joker to stoop to this level. You did not want him to disrespect you, even if you were being the most insolent girl in the world. "The fuck did you just say?" Your thoughts being occupied by Harley was clearly making you more brazen than usual, since you didn't feel an ounce of fear when standing up to Joker. You knew he wouldn't physically hurt you, and right now, you were so angry with him, and confused about Harley, that no words could hurt you.

He opened his mouth, seemingly to repeat himself. But, he shut it, shaking his head to himself. "No." He grabbed your arms again. "We're not doing this."

You attempted to shrug him off. "Doing what?"

"We're not letting her win. We're not letting her get between us. What is she to us, (Y/N)?"

When you didn't answer, he continued. "She is a worm. A rat. We will not give her the authority to break us apart, yes? Us fighting means that she wins."

   With a sigh, you nodded slowly. "Okay. You're right. Just don't talk to me like that again. I'm not Harley. I'm not gonna just stand there and take it."

   "Fine."

   You could feel your expression morph into one of surprise. You had expected him to retort. Maybe even call you a bitch again just to piss you off. But, instead, he had conceded. Not happily, and not with an apology, but he still conceded. That was unheard of for the Joker. If Harley had stood up for herself like that, you figured that she would've been tossed out of the mansion. But, you got away scot-free, as you always seemed to with him.

   "Now, what are we gonna do?" you asked.

   He heaved a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know."

   "What is your intuition telling you to do?"

   He answered without hesitation. "Kick her out."

"And why's that?"

Suddenly, he looked pissed off. "I don't fuckin' know, (Y/N)! That's the whole point of intuition! Feeling something that ya can't explain!" He ran a hand down his face. "I just don't feel good about her at all. Her story with Two-Face checks out, but somethin' ain't right. She wouldn't come to me."

You frowned, hating it when he snapped at you. But, this was an emotionally-charged situation, and he had been right. If you two fought, then Harley won. And the last thing you wanted was for Harley to win. At anything, really.

So, you kept your composure. "I know. It feels so sketchy."

You leaned against the wall, another sigh leaving you. You couldn't believe what you were about to say, but you felt the need to look at the situation from every side and every angle. That way, the safety of you, your lover, and your teammates would be preserved. "But, what if she's being honest? And we kick her out for no reason? What if her help is what'll save us? What if her alliance with us is so unexpected that Two-Face fumbles?"

Joker groaned. "I know. It's just so much to risk, no matter what we choose."

"Yeah. Let me ask you this: did Harley ever seem like the grudge-holding type? I know you two fought a lot while you were dating. Was it ever hard to make up with her?" You figured that an assessment of her general character would sway you one way or the other, and make her true intentions clear.

He averted his gaze, clearly deep in thought. In your honest opinion, you weren't sure that she was that type. After all, in every piece of media you'd ever seen, Harley was always smiling. She looked so happy all the time, even when Joker was very obviously treating her poorly. She looked content with where she was in life, and like she couldn't wait to go on her next adventure with her puddin'. So, either she was the best actress on the planet in order to skillfully cover that part of her so well, or she simply wasn't that type of person.

"I would say no," he finally decided. "Whatever I did to her, she would just...take it with a smile. And she'd always be back for more, even without an apology from me." He smiled fondly.

The fact he had smiled made your stomach twist with anger. He had liked Harley's submissive personality, even recalled on it fondly. And the fact that that personality was standing in his mansion—no, your mansion—made your skin crawl. Did you really want her here? A girl that provided him with as much sentimentality as he was capable of feeling? You knew you'd never be as submissive as Harley; that just wasn't in your nature. So now, against your better judgment, you began to fixate on the competitive aspect of this decision. Did you really want to compete over your man in your own home?

But, did you really want to die due to your petty jealousy?

Joker could see the change in your expression. "I wasn't done, but before I go on, please just relax. I don't desire any personality other than yours, okay, Trouble? The only reason I recall her...somewhat fondly is because of how damn funny she was. Do ya know how hilarious it is to watch someone be hurt over and over and over again, and then keep coming back for more? It was such a fascinating thing to observe. You? You're more than casual hilarity, yeah?"

"You're a fucking sociopath," you mumbled dryly. You couldn't help but feel dread that he would try to pull the exact same thing with you. After all, you doubted that his and Harley's relationship went straight to Hell right out the gate; you presumed that even they had a honeymoon phase. You and him had only been dating for a little bit, meaning that there was still room for everything to go wrong. There was still room for him to develop an affinity for playing with your emotions.

"What did I say, doll? If we fight, she wins."

"I'm not fighting. I'm just stating a fact. You're a fucking sociopath."

"Oh, that I am, sweets. That I am." He grabbed you, pulling you close. "For everyone but you. You're different, and you know that. You just wanna hear me say it."

"How do I know that you're not gonna hurt—"

"Ya don't. You're just gonna have to trust me. I've never steered you wrong thus far, have I?"

You defeatedly shook your head. Minus keeping the secret of Two-Face from you, he had done everything right. He had kept you safe, kept you trained, and treated you very well. Hell, even the secrecy was for your own good, since it was intended to mitigate your anxiety.

"Good girl. Now, may I go on?"

You nodded.

"Anyway, I wouldn't say she held grudges. However, after how our relationship ended... I feel like even she would feel some level of spite. Just enough to wanna get back at me."

"Okay, what the fuck happened?" you asked, putting a hand up to silence him. "You both keep saying that you two ended messy. I get it; it was fucking messy. But, what happened? I want to understand why you guys keep bringing it up."

"Careful," Joker advised quietly, grabbing your chin gently. "I don't know if ya wanna go down this road, doll. I think it'd make you feel even more conflicted about all this."

"Well, now I have to know," you huffed, stepping away from him. Part of you didn't want to find out, but you knew that in order to make an educated decision, you needed to know all the facts. And if this story provided you with needed context into Harley's motives, so be it. All you could do was hope that it wouldn't negatively impact your feelings toward your own relationship, or make you view Joker in a different light.

"Okay." He did not sound very hesitant to tell you the truth, which didn't surprise you. He was the type to own everything he did, good and bad. So, his transparency didn't ease your anxieties much. You braced yourself for the worst, yet hoped for the best.

Because your love being weakened was the last thing you wanted.

With a sigh, he began his tale:

* * *

Harley and I had been dating for around three years at the time of the breakup. As most things do, she began to bore me. She grew predictable. Initially, her obedient nature was thrilling. It felt good to have someone at my beck and call, ready to do whatever I asked, whenever I asked. But, as the years drew on, I craved something different. Every day, it was the same routine. The same loyalty. I needed something else; something to spice up my life, if you will.

Yet, I didn't leave her. Despite growing extremely tired of her, I knew that she was useful. She was a good decoy in battle, and she was an extra pair of hands in robberies. And I knew that if I left her, there was no chance in Hell that she would stay and help. But, I decided to mentally check out, and explore other options.

I had been exploring other options for a few months before she caught me in bed with another woman. Couldn't tell ya what her name was. I was in such desperate need of a thrill that I grabbed whoever seemed interested, had a night of fun, and went on to the next. I would send Harley on business errands in order to do this, but on the day she caught me, she came home earlier than expected. I've never seen that look of hurt on anyone's face before. It was almost invigorating, being able to wipe off that stupid, constant smile. Now this was something different. Not only was it different, but it showed just how much she fuckin' loved me. She loved me so much, and I didn't love her. So fuckin' funny.

   Upon seeing what I had done, she just turned and walked away. Even though part of me loved the hurt I was causing her, a bigger part of me knew I needed to do some serious damage control in order to keep her. Like I said, she was a huge help to me. I couldn't let that huge help just walk away. So, I grabbed a gun off my nightstand and shot the girl I was with. Her blood stained my brand new sheets, but I didn't care. I hopped out of bed, still completely naked, and ran after Harley.

   "Don't follow me!" she yelled as she ran down the stairs. I followed, eventually stepping in front of her to prevent her descent.

"Baby, I can explain," I said, even though I had no reasonable explanation for what she had seen.

"Don't bother!" She couldn't even look at me. Those eyes were looking everywhere but me: the walls, the ceiling, the floor. Everywhere but where I needed her to. Because I was confident that if she looked me in the eyes, I could manipulate her into staying with me.

"Hey, look at me." I grabbed her chin, but she jerked away. The rejection stung, I'll admit. Not because I loved her, but because it showed that the loyalty that I had encouraged her to have was only consistent to a certain point. I couldn't do everything to her with no repercussions. She had her limits, and that was because my manipulation wasn't thorough enough.

"Get out of my way!" Her voice was shrill and ear-piercing.

I winced at the sound, grabbing her wrist with the hand that wasn't holding the gun. "I'm sorry, Harley. Just please, hear me out." I wasn't sorry. I was never sorry. But, I really did need her to hear me out.

"LET GO!" She thrashed around until I finally did, stepping back with my hands raised in surrender. I was once again feeling that odd duality of emotions: enthusiasm that I could cause that kind of pain in someone, and despair at the fact that I could lose my biggest helping hand.

During the brief moment where my hands were raised, she snatched the gun out of my hands. With a cold expression that I had never seen, she aimed it right between my eyes. Normally, I had seen her insane. But, now, she was calculated, and her eyes told me that she knew exactly what she was doing.

"I did everything for you," she whispered, angry tears rolling down her face. "I did everything you said. I killed for you. I lied for you. I put up with so much bullshit for you!"

I didn't feel bad for her. Not at all. I leaned my head toward the barrel until it was pressed against my forehead. I wasn't scared; I knew she wouldn't do it. No matter how mad she was, I knew she could never do that. "Do it," I encouraged. "Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it."

Her angry expression broke into one of pitiful despair. Her bottom lip wobbled, her hand trembling as she continued to hold the gun to my head. "Why? Why don't you love me? Why were you never capable of love?"

I seized this change in expression as an opportunity to seduce her back into my control. "I do love you, sweetheart. I just—I made a mistake. We all make mistakes, now, don't we?"

She shook her head rapidly. "We all make mistakes, but I would've never made that mistake. I've been loyal to you since the day we met. If ya really loved me, you would've been loyal. I'm done acting like I'm okay with the way ya treat me."

I could feel anger burning hot in my chest. Her gaining self-confidence was the last thing I wanted. So, in a desperate attempt to keep her where I wanted her, I spat, "And you honestly think anyone else can treat ya any better?! I'm all you have, Harley. No one is gonna love ya like me."

"And thank God for that!" she screamed. I had never heard her speak with such intensity before, such conviction. She was always so joyful, so ditzy. But now, she was speaking with the powerful cadence of some professional orator. Like she meant business, and she was a powerful, independent woman. Her finger teased the trigger, but there was still something blocking her from pulling it.

"And yet, ya can't find it within yourself to kill me," I taunted her, grinning widely. "Just come back to me. We can fix this."

   "I'll pass. And, as much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I can't bring myself to kill ya." She paused, a wicked grin on her face. She was sliding back into her old self: crazy and elated. The only difference was that I wasn't the one making her feel that way. She was finding herself without me. "So, I'm just gonna hurt ya."

   She leaned in, her nose nearly touching mine. "Really, really bad."

   I had said this particular sentence to her before. And the fact that it had come back to bite me in the ass was irony in its truest form. And, true to her word, she aimed my gun at my arm and took the shot.

   The pain was something I had grown used to, being a criminal and all. But, the rage I felt was completely new. For her to be so in love with me, and just turn on me so easily? I honestly don't know if I was mad at her or myself. Her disloyalty or my lackluster manipulation. If I had done it right, she would've accepted my infidelity with a smile, just as she had everything else.

   Anyway, she pushed past me and ran into my office, grabbing wads and wads of cash to take for the road. I followed her, my arm oozing crimson. In order to reign in my anger, I buried my index finger into the bullet hole so that I could feel something other than rage. As she stole from me, I could feel my control slipping further and further away. In a last ditch effort to keep her, I began shouting obscenities at her. The goal was to make her question her self-worth and crawl back to what was familiar: me. But, this only seemed to strengthen her resolve more.

   After collecting the money, she pushed past me again, exiting my apartment and going down the stairs. I followed, leaving a gruesome trail of blood in my wake. "You unlovable piece of shit!" I barked. "You're gonna be all alone out there. And when ya realize how alone you are, do not come crawling back to me!"

   "I'd much rather be alone than put up with you any longer. Now get away from me." She turned and shoved me back so hard that I almost fell.

   The confidence in her eyes was amazing to me. She wasn't even scared. Somehow, with one lousy little affair, she had abandoned her loyalties to me. I knew this was less than ideal, since the temporary fun that unnamed woman gave me couldn't even begin to measure up to Harley's loyalty. Yet, in my eyes, it had been her boring and annoying nature that led me to have fun elsewhere in the first place. 

   I tried to lash out at her in return, but she easily eluded me. Her newfound confidence almost gave her this supernatural protection. She was so swift that no blow could stun her.

   Further enraged, I bellowed, "If you weren't such a nagging whore, maybe I wouldn't have cheated!"

   Then, to my delight, she started to cry again. She had always been a little emotionally unstable, but this was a lot, even for her. It wasn't very often that she would switch between moods so dramatically. It gave me hope that her confidence was just a coping mechanism, and that I really did affect her.

   "And if you weren't such a neglectful boyfriend, maybe I wouldn't have shot ya!" She wiped her eyes, smearing her blue makeup all over her face. "You never cared about me. Not really. If ya did, you wouldn't have left me alone all day, every day. Ya would've spent time with me. Ya wouldn't have berated me and called me names. Ya would've just been a person."

   Even though playing with her emotions had been fun, I started to realize that maybe if I just played my part a little better, I would've kept my sidekick. After all, she would've been much more compelled to do what I said if I had been nice, right?

   "You're not a person, J!" she wailed, tears dropping onto her shirt. "You're sub-fuckin'-human! You're a machine! A monster!"

   I drank in these insults with pride. Even if I had lost my most prized possession, I was still a monster. "Oh, but I'm your favorite monster, baby."

   "No. I'm my favorite monster." She took the butt of her gun and slammed it against my head.

   I stumbled, catching myself on the wall beside me. I saw doubles of everything, and the sight was so disorienting that I had to temporarily squeeze my eyes shut. And by the time I opened them again, Harley was gone.

   So, I yelled at the top of my voice, for all to hear, "HARLEY QUINN IS DONE! IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, BABY, YOU'RE GONNA BE SO FUCKIN' SORRY!"

   "Not as sorry as you'll be!" her voice responded back to me, getting further away with each syllable as she continued her descent.

   And with that, I began to laugh. I laughed as I grieved the loss of her loyalty, the defeat of having someone leave me and not the other way around. I laughed and laughed until my throat was hoarse and I felt like I was losing what little of my mind was left.

   And the rest, my (Y/N), is history.

* * *

   By the time Joker had finished his tale, you were staring at him, slack-jawed. Your stomach was swirling at his recounting, and you found yourself not even wanting to be around him.

   You had always known that Joker was objectively a piece of shit to Harley, but hearing it from the horse's mouth really gave you pause. You now knew the specifics. He was a cheater. He berated the woman he "loved." He was a manipulator. And he didn't even look ashamed of it.

   The decision on whether or not to utilize Harley aside, you felt very conflicted about this whole thing. Joker had never done any of these things to you, but it showed that he could. He had the capability to play nice, then turn mean on a dime.

   You could feel insecurity blooming in your chest like a sickening rose. Not knowing what else to do, you covered your face with your hands as you attempted to gather your bearings. You had been so confident in the man before you, but now, you didn't know who he was. You didn't know what he wanted with you.  

  And now, for the first time, you were wondering if you were the new Harley. His new experiment.

   He gently grabbed your wrists, prying your hands away from your face. His expression softened as he observed the tears pooling in your eyes. "Oh, baby. What's wrong?"

   "I want you to actually love me," you sputtered, voice quivering from sadness. "I don't want to find out years into our relationship that I was some sick game. I don't want to go through what Harley went through."

   "(Y/N), please stop. You'll never have to go through that. You're not a game to me."

   "Then tell me you love me. Right here, right now. Do it." Your voice was firm. You knew what you needed to hear, and by God, you hoped you'd hear it.

   Joker paused. He avoided your eyes, anxiously chewing on his bottom lip. Even though a proclamation like that should've been instant, you let him process your demand. You knew what you needed to hear.

   Eventually, he just shook his head. "I can't."

   Before you could say anything else, he grabbed your shoulders. "But, do not misconstrue that into meaning that I don't care about ya. I care about you so deeply. But I don't know how love works, you know that. So, I will not say it to you until I'm certain I mean it."

   There it was. That was what you needed to hear. As much as an "I love you" would've been a temporary bandaid on your wounds, you wanted him to omit that sweet phrase. After all, if he had just wanted to manipulate you, he would've just said it to placate you. If he had ill intent, that lie would've been second nature.

   But, he didn't say it. He didn't lie.

   Even though you were still wary of the future, you fell into his arms with a relieved sigh. This was definitely a step in the right direction.

   But, now, you needed to figure out what to do about Harley.

   As your lover embraced you in return, you quickly changed the subject. Even though you didn't want him to love you, there was a small portion of you that was a little hurt by the rejection. So, you didn't necessarily want to keep dwelling on that when there were more pressing matters at hand. "Can we talk about what we're gonna do now?"

   "Whatever you want to talk about, we'll talk about."

   "Okay." You paused, trying to assess the situation as logically as possible. For the time being, you were going to box your feelings and stow them away in the back of your mind, leaving them untouched until the conclusion of this conversation. This was your life at stake. You needed to do what was best, even if what was best wasn't pleasant. "You said you wanted to kick her out?"

   "That's what my intuition said. But, I don't know what we should do."

   You nodded slowly. After hearing how everything had ended between Harley and Joker, you figured that it was at least somewhat likely that Harley had held a grudge over that event. However, something in her eyes just looked so sincere when she was talking. Like she was being totally honest, and really just wanted to help. Besides, she had said it herself: she could get over a breakup just fine; however, Two-Face had pushed her over the edge when she was already at a low point due to the breakup. Joker had taken away her relationship, but Two-Face had taken her money, her career, her trust, and her long-term joy. She was completely blindsided by him, but somewhat knew what she was getting into with Joker. The more you thought about it, the more her story seemed to add up. Plus, the notion of even potentially catching Two-Face off guard with this allegiance may have been too good to pass up.

You knew that what lie ahead would be mildly annoying at best and deadly at worst, but this felt like a risk you needed to take. You were all out of ideas on how to beat Two-Face, but maybe Harley wasn't. Maybe she knew just enough to make your whole jealousy thing worth it.

So, you decided to voice your opinion before you had room to change your mind. "I think we should let her help."

Joker's expression looked just as surprised as you felt. "What?"

"I know. I can't believe I'm saying it either." You leaned against the wall, looking up toward the ceiling and sighing in utter disbelief. "But, think about it. What if she knows more than us? What if she actually helps? We can be on our guard, not let her out of our sight. We can still take precautions if she helps. And I think we should let her. She just looked so honest about everything. And we need all the help we can get right now, especially help that will stun Two-Face."

"Aside from how stupid it sounds to gamble over this, how are you gonna handle this? For God's sake, (Y/N), you almost committed murder when she hugged me! How are you gonna be able to stomach her spending that much time with us? Probably even living with us, since we can't let her out of our sight."

"I don't know. I'll figure it out, I guess. I'll have to. My life—and yours—is so much more valuable than whatever stupid jealousy I feel."

"Maturity," he chuckled dryly. "Never expected that from ya."

"Shut up."

When he didn't continue speaking for a few seconds, you prodded, "So? Still think we should kick her out?"

He hesitated, your opinion clearly swaying him. He let out an irritated groan, combing a hand through his hair. "There's nothing I want more than to kick that bitch out. But, you may be right. It's a lot to lose, but it's better to try than not. What have we accomplished in the last several weeks? Fucking nothing. So, even if this gets us killed, at least it could still bring us closer to him."

"Yeah," you agreed. "Because if we just wait around long enough, he'll figure out a way to get to me. We gotta start being proactive."

Joker shuddered at the thought of him losing you. He nodded with resolve. "Okay. Okay, you're right. We'll let her help."

The sound of him speaking it into existence was almost enough for you to reverse your decision, but you held firm. You were a criminal, so selfishness was to be expected. But, you couldn't let that part of you win right now. Not when it counted like this. You had to grow up, put your game face on, and face whatever horrors Harley had waiting for you. Which, given how much she annoyed you, were likely plentiful.

Joker then called Harley back into the room, and when told the good news, she jumped and squealed. She hugged him, hugged you, hugged him again, hugged you again. Her excitement looked genuine, almost as genuine as your discomfort, which only strengthened as the details of her living situation were discussed. She would be staying in your old room, and the notion of her having something of yours was enough to make you shiver. It just felt like you were being put on similar playing fields, even though you were snuggled next to your lover in his lavish apartment nightly. You wanted to be so blatantly above her that she looked foolish in comparison. But, her having your old room just made you feel that she could be you. She could work her way up to the top, and secure that spot next to Joker every night.

You tried to fight off these thoughts. After all, the least of your worries was if she managed to steal your man; your life was in danger, for God's sake! Your mind desperately needed to be rerouted to more pressing matters.

Sensing your racing mind, Joker wrapped an arm around your waist and pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. This helped, but you couldn't help but wonder if he had lovingly held Harley like that, too. Even though he had played his part rather unconvincingly, you doubted their entire relationship was just animalistic sex and heated arguments. It was probably mostly those things, but there had to have been the occasional staged, wholesome moment that played out between them.

So, you began to worry once more about being the new Harley. You began to fear for what he'd do to you in the future. Would you become nothing more to him than a hot fuck and an annoying ball and chain? Would he explore other options?

You loved Joker so much, but there was already a wedge forming between the two of you due to Harley's presence. And she hadn't even been there a fucking hour. All you could do was hope this torment would be worth it, and that Joker kept his eye on the prize and continued to treat you like you deserved.