TW: SEXUAL INNUENDOS, 18+ ONLY

As the days passed, the tensions in the mansion started to dissipate. While everyone still seemed to think that your relationship with Joker was unexpected and a little strange, they seemed to have gotten used to the constant touching and showing each other off. You were glad about this, since it had grown a little tiring to constantly see people fidgeting awkwardly around you and your lover. You had never really desired normalcy, being a criminal and all, but even you had your line. You wanted to feel welcome in the place you called home.

   Despite everyone growing more comfortable with your relationship, you could feel the unease regarding Two-Face build. Nobody really had to say they were nervous; you could just feel it in the air. The mansion had this heavy, ominous feeling to it. You could feel this heaviness press down on your chest, the sensation oddly similar to the panic of being in an extremely small room. It felt like the mansion had shrunk, and you were now being cornered by the four walls that you had loved so dearly.

   You didn't like this feeling one bit, and you longed for it to end every day. Then, you could finally just be with Joker. You could cause whatever mayhem you wanted without the fear of an untimely death.

   Currently, you were laying on top of Joker, watching the news. This had been commonplace lately: vainly studying the news in the hopes that it had a lead on Two-Face's whereabouts. And today, like always, it had none. Instead, the Riddler was being broadcasted. According to the report, he had kidnapped a city official and tortured him until he agreed to hand over his money. All of his money. And ever since then, the police couldn't find him.

   "Nice," you commented. "I've never heard of anyone doing that before."

   Joker nodded. "Riddler's always been creative. And he's the best at never getting caught, too."

   "Yeah, we know you're not," you teased. "How many times did you end up in Arkham?"

   "Far too many. But, I'd like to give myself credit where it's due: I think I'm a very skilled escape artist. Every time they put me away, they weren't able to hold me for long."

   "Only because you seduced a crazy bitch that happened to work at the asylum."

   "Now, now, doll. I only had her help once. Every other time, that was all me."

   Due to your position atop his chest, your head was tilted to the side so that you could watch the TV. In order to get your attention, Joker tangled his hand in your hair and pulled gently. This caused you to look up at him, (e/c) eyes shining with the love that you were never meant to feel.

   "Besides," whispered your lover, caressing your lower lip with his thumb, "don't misuse the word 'crazy', my sweet, sweet thing. She turned out to be crazy, but she wasn't crazy when I met her. She was merely...susceptible."

   "Susceptible?" you repeated.

   "Yes. She was susceptible to my seduction, and was therefore compelled to do whatever I asked. Just like someone else I know." He grinned smugly.

   "Hey, don't compare me to her! That's, like, the worst thing a man can do to his girlfriend. You should be dumped right now."

   "Mm, but you'd never dump me. You're in too deep."

   You hated the fact that he was right. Even though this was all just meaningless banter, it was an indicator that when things inevitably did get tough, it would be hard for you to leave. Maybe even impossible.

"You're right," you conceded. You smiled nervously. "Would you ever dump me?"

His answer came quick. So quick that your anxieties made you wonder if it had been rehearsed. "Never."

"Promise? I can't live without you." You knew it was pathetic, but God damn, was it true. He filled the hole in your chest that you never knew you had. He completed you. He enabled you to ascend to a higher state of being, an almost otherworldly form. Humans didn't feel happiness like this. Humans didn't love like this, you were sure of it. Nobody looked at their partners like the way you looked at Joker.

Falling for him was, no doubt, indicative of a certain mental weakness on your part. But, thankfully, he had chosen not to use you, but to love you in return. Or, at least, attempt to love you. You still saw aspects of him that were cold, that were crazy. But, it was clear that he was at least trying to express his affections, however twisted they were.

"Promise. I don't ever intend on letting you go, princess."

You shivered with pleasure. His possessiveness didn't scare you. It made you feel wanted, and like he was really serious about you. Most women would've ran for the hills if their men said that to them. After all, for most men, they would say this with ill intent. But, you knew that for Joker, that was the most sincere expression of adoration. He showed love in this way: keeping you close, and always having your best interest at heart.

It was then that you felt a dull vibration in your pocket. Recognizing it as the familiar feeling of a notification coming through, you pulled your phone out. Joker did the same, so you figured that he must have gotten the same notification.

On both your phones was a text from Shaun, sent to the group chat composed of you and your team:

Get down to the first floor NOW!!! This is fucking nuts!!!

You powered off your phone, letting out a loud groan. You had been so relaxed, and now, you had to get up and face whatever awaited you downstairs.

You stood up, Joker following. He looked just as annoyed as you were. You knew that there was nothing he hated more than being disturbed. You really hoped that whatever demanded your attention right at this moment was incredibly important. Otherwise, it didn't look good for Shaun.

"What do you think's happening?" you asked him as you both began to descend the stairs.

"Nothing that warrants an interruption," he growled back, his hand on the small of your back as you walked. "If he called us down for something stupid, so help me God. I just had a beautiful woman on my chest, so if it's something stupid, ya might have to hold me back, doll."

"I would never do that. You're sexy when you're murderous." You were only half-joking here. You liked Shaun, so you really hoped that Joker didn't kill him over a text. But, you had to admit, there was something oddly attractive in the way his eyes flashed with bloodlust when going for a kill. Or when he growled to himself as he taunted his victims. He turned primal when he killed, and you felt an ache for that primal state. However, you wanted it for something other than killing.

In a flash, he had his hand wrapped around your throat as he pushed you against the wall. You nearly lost your balance due to the sudden gesture, so he quickly wrapped his opposite arm around you so that you wouldn't fall down the stairs. He leaned in real close, his breath fanning your face and making goosebumps erupt all over.

"If ya keep talkin' like that," he whispered, "I'm gonna have to just say 'fuck him' and take ya right here, right now. Is that what ya want, Trouble?"

You bit your lip teasingly, letting your hand creep up his chest. His white button-up was completely undone, so you let your nails scratch against his tattoos on the way back down. He growled at the feeling, trying to lean in and kiss you.

You turned away, though. "Of course that's what I want. But, business before pleasure, right?"

"Bullshit. You're my pleasure, sweets, and you'll always come first. In both ways." He took your earlobe between his teeth, gently tugging on the cartilage.

When you inevitably whined in reply, he muttered, "Give in. Give in to me. Come on, pretty girl. Give. In."

You found it within yourself to lightly push his chest, causing him to begrudgingly let you go. "If I come first, then satisfy my nosiness. Let's find out what's up with Shaun first. Then, there'll be all the time in the world for whatever else you wanna do to me."

"I have a few ideas." He groaned, seemingly imagining the possibilities.

"Me, too." You winked, beginning to walk down the stairs again. He followed, his hand around your waist now. Just by the firmness of his grip, you could tell that this discussion with Shaun would be very brief. Or, at least, you hoped so.

By the time you two got to the second floor, you could hear the mumblings of some conversation happening on the floor below. By the sounds of it, everyone was actively participating, and doing so animatedly: even Lennon was speaking at a louder-than-usual tone.

But, amidst the men's voices was a female's voice. A female's voice that was high-pitched, joyful, and seemed to have a New York accent.

Wait. That couldn't be...

You and Joker seemed to register the voice at the same time. You both froze, looking at each other in surprise. How was she here? Why was she here? She wanted nothing to do with Joker anymore. She had went on a whole rampage after their breakup, cutting her hair and making a scene before retreating to a hole of isolation, never to be seen again.

You could feel your expression change from surprise to anger. You were so infatuated with Joker that the thought of her even being in the same room as you was filling you with hate. You did not want to look at someone who had also kissed those red lips you loved, who had also shared a bed with him. Who had been his partner in crime. Who he had said he loved. Even if it was a lie, the two still shared some degree of intimacy. And it was making you sick that you had to look at the girl who shared that with him.

You needed to know what she wanted. And if what you heard was unsatisfactory, it was fucking on. If this made you crazy, then so be it. You were crazy. You were so crazy that it felt like your blood was boiling, your heart thudding so hard in your chest that you could hear the pulse of blood in your ears.

Before you could rush down the remaining steps, Joker seized your arm. "Calm down," he cautioned.

"Why? It's...it's—"

"I know. Ya don't wanna mess with her, doll. Trust me. She's a lot stronger than she looks. Just play nice for me, okay?"

The fact that he was discouraging you from doing what you wanted—no, needed—to do just made you angrier. "And I'm not? Look, I'm fine. I can handle her. Do you not believe that? Do you think I'm weak?"

"Oh, (Y/N), get over yourself," he hissed. "She's had years and years of training. I'm not saying you couldn't beat her, or even that you shouldn't try at some point. But, don't come at her right out the gate. She's expecting that. Give it time. See what she wants. Catch her off guard, if it comes to that. Just don't be stupid. You're a smart girl, hm? My smart girl?"

He tried to placate you by cupping your cheek, but you just jerked away. Jealousy was an ugly thing, and that green monster had you by the throat, its grip deadly. "Seems like you just want her. That's why you're protecting her."

"All that backtalk is gonna get ya hurt. You know where my loyalty is. Do ya not trust me? Are ya seriously not mature enough to even look at Harley?"

You could sense him getting angry with you, so you took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I trust you. I just hate the thought of you being with anyone else."

"And I'm not with anyone else. I'm with you. She's my leftovers, sweets. She was dumped for a reason."

"Okay. Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." You took a few seconds to continue breathing deeply, desperately trying to achieve some sort of zen. This feeling, this weird, out-of-body experience you were having, was new. And you hated it. You hated not being in control of your body due to something as stupid as petty jealousy. But, you couldn't help it. It was taking over you, and it required the utmost concentration to cause it to even partly subside. But, it was gradually subsiding the more you focused.

After a bit, Joker extended his hand with a smirk. "Now that you've calmed down, let's go see what the bitch wants, yeah?"

The notion of seeing that face, the face that had so lovingly gazed into the blue eyes that you loved, was enough to make your heart race all over again. Still, you took his hand. You refused to be that jealous girlfriend and embarrass Joker. Worse, make him mad. You wanted to be that calm badass that Harley never was. The one that could hang with him without flipping her lid over something small.

You didn't want to be cast away like she was.

"Good girl," he whispered to you, kissing your cheek. "You'll always be my good girl."

"Even if I lose my cool sometimes?" You wanted to be better, but with a love like this, you didn't know if you could.

"Even so. Now, come on. Now's the time to practice keeping your cool."

You nodded with resolve, taking a breath to collect yourself as you two descended to the first floor.

Sure enough, Harley was there, clapping her hands excitedly while chatting to your teammates. They weren't conversing like they had known each other, so you figured that your teammates were new enough to have missed the era where Harley had been involved with Joker. She was wearing black shorts that barely covered anything, and a red and black tube top that snatched her figure quite nicely. Her hair was tied up in its signature pigtails, the ends of one still dyed pink, the other blue. She had a big smile on her lips, which were painted black in order to match her eye makeup; one eye was smudged with equally black eyeshadow, the other smudged with a blood red.

You immediately looked at Joker to gauge his reaction. You couldn't help but feel slightly insecure at seeing her. She looked beautiful. So beautiful that your stomach twisted with envy. You knew you were beautiful, too, but it was difficult to stomach the notion that someone who had slept with your boyfriend was as well.

Joker kept his eyes trained on Harley's, refusing to dip them to a less dignified area of her body. "Harley."

Her head whipped around to face him, and she squealed with delight at seeing him.

Delight? Why was she excited? Hadn't they had a falling-out? A nasty one? You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of her intentions, and even suspicious of Joker. Had they been communicating since the breakup? If they hadn't, why else would she be so excited to see the man that broke her heart?

Joker's surprised expression quelled your anxieties some; he seemed to have been asking the same questions you were.

To your dismay, Harley sprinted over to him and threw her arms around him. He stiffened, refusing to return the embrace, but this didn't seem to deter her excitement. "Puddin'!" she cried out.

Your anger began to boil over. Before you even realized what you were doing, you grabbed her shoulder, yanking her away from your beloved. She reeled back with a gasp, wobbling in her red heels. "Easy," you warned, your voice quivering with rage. It was one thing to have to look at her; it was another to watch her body be pressed up against the body of your man.

Despite having just been touched in a rather disrespectful manner, Harley beamed, as if it hadn't affected her at all. "Oh, chillax!" she giggled, playfully pushing your shoulder. "I'm not tryna steal your man or anythin'! That's over and done with, sugar!"

The feeling of her hand on you was enough to make you lurch toward her. You didn't even know what you intended to do, but you knew it was something violent. Something fitted for the occasion.

Joker quickly pulled you back. "Quit it," he hissed in your ear.

"I'd listen to him!" she chirped happily. "I may not look like much, but ya don't wanna mess with me!"

The contrast of her tone to the words she was speaking would have been humorous, had you been in a better mood. You sighed as Joker pulled you to his side to mitigate any further attempts of assault. "Sorry," you mumbled bitterly.

"Don't be! I understand the jealousy. Felt it all the time when I was with him," Harley said. Then, she gasped, pointing at your body. "Hey, there's my jacket! I was wonderin' what you did with that, puddin'! I'm glad you kept it. Was real cute."

The jacket she was referring to was the one currently on your body. Half of it was red, the other blue, and it had the words "PROPERTY OF THE JOKER" written on the back in gold lettering. In hindsight, this jacket had clearly been made for Harley. It fit right into her whole contrasting color scheme.

You, understandably, felt incredibly embarrassed. Your boyfriend was the type of man to regift things. You looked at him hatefully, since he had somehow managed to make this bad situation ten times worse. You almost wanted to take the jacket off and burn it, knowing it had touched Harley's body.

Joker looked just as embarrassed as you felt. "Okay, cut the shit, bitch. What do ya want?"

"Ah, that name. 'Bitch'. Really reminds me of the good old days of screamin' at ya every day." She walked a few steps, then hopped onto the grand piano, sitting on its lid. Her pose looked very performative, almost model-esque. Her legs were crossed, her arms extended as each hand rested on the wood of the lid. She arched her back ever-so-slightly, pushing out her chest just enough for you to notice. It was clear she was trying to show off what Joker had lost.

"I'm not kidding, Harley. We said we never wanted to see each other again. So, why, oh why, would you come here and insult my woman?" He crossed his arms. "Tell me now, or else you will be removed. I'm done with those pathetic games ya play."

"Hey, I never insulted your lady!" She hopped off the piano, which made you wonder why she had even sat there in the first place. "It's not my fault you're a lazy gift-giver."

"Your presence here is the insult, you dumb whore. (Y/N) has more dignity in her little finger than your entire pathetic body. And you have the audacity to just strut into her house like you own it. That was the issue with you. You were so entitled, and always demanded this, demanded that. I'm not catering to your demands. Unless you can convince me that you being here is a good idea, I will demand that you're removed, and punished for wasting our time."

"Oh, how I miss that dirty talk, puddin'." She walked over to the pair of you again, waving Joker off. "Before you get all murder-y, just let me introduce myself to your girlfriend first."

She extended her hand, a big smile on her face. You couldn't process why she was so thrilled to meet you, considering that you were sleeping with her ex. Even if she had gotten over him, you didn't expect her to be thrilled that you had snagged Joker. Most women aren't when they find out their exes are seeing someone else. "Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya!"

You didn't want to take her hand. But, for the sake of moving this along, you did. "I know who you are, Harley. I'm (Y/N) (L/N)."

"I know! God, who wouldn't know?! You're Gotham's latest gossip, honey!" She let go of your hand, standing up on her tiptoes briefly before standing normally again. She just had this excitable vibe about her, and something about it just pissed you off. "When I saw you on TV for the first time, I thought, 'Damn! That girl's somethin' special!'"

"She is," replied Joker. "Which is why I'd like to move this along so I can get back to enjoying every last inch of her." As he said this, he crept behind you and trailed his hands down your sides before wrapping them around your waist. You shivered, leaning into his touch and holding the side of his face.

Harley didn't seem to be bothered by this PDA. "Well, the last thing I'd want is to be a buzzkill. So, I'll get into it!"

She walked back to the piano, hopping on it again. "Basically," she began, twirling her hair with her finger, "word on the streets is that you're having a feud with Two-Face. Lower-level villains haven't been able to shut up about it! 'Who will win: Mr. J or Two-Face?' After hearing about it so much, a girl kinda starts to take a side. And I choose this side. I want to help."

You narrowed your eyes at her. "Why would you want to help us? Didn't you and J end, like, super messy?"

"Oh, yeah. Messier than I think ya realize." She kept smiling, though, as if the memory didn't faze her at all. "But, that's the past! Let bygones be bygones, as they say."

"Even if that were true, what do you have against Two-Face?" you asked as you freed yourself from Joker's grip. Her offer was overwhelming you to the point where you didn't want to be touched.

"More than I have against him." She pointed to Joker, who looked suspicious. "Ya see, when me and him split, I hung out with Two-Face for a while. We eventually started to form an allegiance, and started organizing an underground drug operation together. Just to get some more cash and live a little more comfortably, since he's not as ritzy as you, puddin'.

"At the time, I had more money than he did, since he had spent all of his on pointless shit. He knew that I had taken some of J's before leaving, and since he was providing me with a place to stay, he thought I owed that money to him so we could kickstart our business. So that we could buy the drugs and hire dealers to scatter and sell 'em like crazy. Like an idiot, I gave it to him. All of it. Every cent.

"And, what do ya think he did? He sure as hell didn't spend it on what he said he would! Ya know how he's a bit of a migrator? How he moves from place to place so that he can't be tracked? Yeah! He took my money and left in the dead of night, leaving me all alone. I had a place to live, but no money for anything. And, in my rage, I fuckin' kicked the wall so hard I broke my damn toe. You can imagine that I wasn't up for any heists for a while after that, so I couldn't even get any money. I had to live off of the scraps of other people until my foot healed, and by the time it did, I was just so mentally broken that I didn't feel like being a criminal anymore. I was just depressed, doin' nothin' but surviving. That's why you guys didn't hear from me for so long."

By the end of her tale, Harley was teary-eyed. It was such a stark contrast from her mood two minutes ago that you were a little unsettled.

"So, yeah, I have a lot against Two-Face." She sniffed, wiping her teary eyes. "He was the reason for me losin' everything. My money, my reputation, and my happiness. All of it. Don't get me wrong, J fucked me up, too. But, not like that. I can recover from a breakup just fine, especially since I always knew he wasn't good for me. I was kinda prepared for the worst. But, with Two-Face, it was so unexpected, and he hurt me when I needed a friend the most. Relationships are two-way streets; I did things wrong with you, too, puddin'. But Two-Face? I was an innocent victim. And now, he's after you. So, why not help you and myself, and make him pay?"

You looked at Joker, trying to gauge his reaction. And, like always, you couldn't tell what it was based on his expression. His brow was furrowed, his red lips downturned in a frown. But, that could mean so many feelings: pondering, upset, angry. You wished that dating him would help you know what he was thinking, but you were starting to think that nobody ever could.

As he remained silent, you assessed the validity of Harley's tale. Her beef with Two-Face didn't sound entirely unrealistic; he was a villain, after all, and villains were known for mercilessly stabbing each other in the back. But, you just couldn't make sense of why she would come to Joker, of all people, for revenge. You found it hard to believe that she could just forget everything that went down between them, especially since their breakup was apparently messier than you knew.

On the other hand, though, you were truly desperate. Harley would be an unexpected allegiance to have, and would surely catch Two-Face off guard. After all, nobody would expect for her to flock to her ex-boyfriend to get revenge, right?

"I'll give you guys some time to think about it," said Harley, all of a sudden smiling again. She walked out of the room, a pep in her step. You watched her go, noticing that Ronnie was ogling her backside. Lennon responded to this stare by elbowing him in the ribs.

After she left, your team just looked at you and Joker, evidently waiting for your opinion before they spoke. Neither of you gave it, though. You both just stood there, each of you deep in your own thoughts. You didn't even know what your opinion was at this moment. Should you let her help, or kick her to the curb? Normally your intuition would be screaming at you one way or the other, but right now, it wasn't saying a peep. You truly didn't know what you should do.

"Leave us," Joker suddenly spoke.

Without a word, your team obeyed, joining Harley in whatever adjacent room she had gone to.

You looked at your lover, frustrated tears burning your eyes. You knew this would be a difficult conversation, and you were overwhelmed with the idea of making a choice. Whatever you chose could end up turning bad, and the last thing you needed was for your bad situation to be exacerbated even further.

Your obvious distress seemed to snap him out of his trance. "Hey, hey, hey," he cooed, cupping your face with his calloused hands. "Don't you worry, doll. We're gonna talk and figure it out right now, okay? And I won't do anything you don't agree with. Just keep your composure. Be my strong girl. You're my strong girl, aren't ya, (Y/N)?"

You nodded, but you knew that couldn't be further from the truth. You were falling apart at the seams, all because of Harley Quinn.

Harley Quinn, the woman you hoped to never see, could be working with you from now on.

And was that a good or bad thing?