It had been a quick day. Just few files on my desk and the work was done at 6:00. Spent 2 hours in the bar, drank little and was driving home. The road seemed lot clear, even during rush hour. I was doing 50 on lane as the alcohol got in me. I shook my head and geared down. 30 on a lane. The streetlights looked hypnotizing. I pressed down on accelerator. 40 now. The road seemed so clear. I let my hands relax on the wheel. When suddenly the car rose and went down instantly like a wave had hit. I hit brake hard stopping at once. Oh, this was it I ran down on someone! But I looked back to see only a speed breaker.

Bleed, woman, bleed!!

I shook my head, my hands trembled. The next 2 lanes I drove very cautiously. I pulled over in front of my house. A small plot, two-story, half-furnished, weed-filled lawn. Decent. I came out of the car; the opposite house was flagged by police. An instant fear gripped me. I rushed to my door and knocked raptly. Mrs. June opened it,

'What happened?' I asked fearfully, Mrs. June had been holding a wet handkerchief in her hand. Her eye were red and big tears dropped.

'There's been a murder in that house, somebody came in and shot both of them'. She said shiveringly. I moved inside and closed the door. Mrs. June sat down on the red, worn-out sofa. I dropped my bag and gave her a glass of water. She gulped it down.

'How's Leah?' I asked,

'She's sleeping.' said Mrs. June. She looked at me desirably and looked down suddenly,

'C-Can I take next week off?' She asked carefully,

This got me worried. Because that meant I had to stay home, Boss won't be happy. But I could see she was terrified.

'Alright, take 4 days off.' I said comfortingly. She smiled sadly and left.

I bathed, ate, and sat down for some time. After 2 hours the police had left the place barricaded. I turned off the telly and walked in the bathroom, opened the cabinet, and took out the bottle of sleeping pills.

Bleed you cheater bleed!! 'No!'

I stared at it. My eyes watered. I took 2 out and thrust them inside. Switched off the lights and went to bed.

No one's gonna hurt you baby, just sleep. Your mama and I are going to talk a little. . . a little louder, okay. "HEY WHERE'RE YOU RUNNIN' COME BACK ''

I struggled to sleep but couldn't. I dreamt of drowning, and as I struggled, they pulled me back. I flapped my arms

Bleed!!

The water changed colour. It turned red and then I could smell the stench.

Bleed!! Cheater!!

I woke up in the night, gasping and sweating. I struggled for breathing for some time. I placed my head on my palms and Leah started crying next room.

I went to room and there she was in her bed, 3-year-old. She had her mother's hair, the blondest set of them. Face like me but mixed with hers. Eyes were two ocean blue pearls. She pointed outside the window and

'Mama, mama!' She cried,

I looked out of the window and with astonishment on my face, saw a bright candle in the house opposite. It flickered as the gentle breeze of air went. I looked out of the window to see there were no guards. I looked up again the light, faintly, shined to the next room where stood a silhouette of a woman, resting her hands on the windowsill and watching us.

Instantly I closed the curtains and turned back, took Leah on my lap and sat down on the bed and as if someone were outside, the curtains swung open. That thing stood watching us from the next house. Fear crawled inside me and mind screamed of terror. But I closed my eyes as I caressed Leah, I tried to sleep. I knew who it was but chose not to think. She was not real. She will go away.

She did not.

Saturday, it was bright day. I woke up and found myself sleeping on Leah's bed with her close to my chest. She slept peacefully. I looked out of the window. It was heavily furnished, right from the pathway to the chimney. The guards were back. One of them looked up, I turned away. My heart thumped heavily. He turned away, I hesitated to look back at him again. Obviously, I could have told them about last night, but I couldn't. Not now, not after what I had done.

'Shut up you!!' 'Stop! I can't breathe'

The morning had gone well. Leah was off to her school. She had picnic and would return by afternoon. I went and made some coffee, sat down on the sofa, and turned on the telly. But some, force? Got me to turn towards the window. I looked at the house, it had an eerie feeling. Its four windows, like four monster eyes screaming with vengeance. There was no candle, the guards were standing. But I could sense her sitting and watching.

'Don't mind mama, baby. She is just asleep. No need to look scared, its just sauce on her throat, you know mama is messy, don't you? C'mon lets all go to the beach, there mama will swim! . . .'

'NO!'

But it came, scene by scene. I felt guilty but I had laughed at that time, I had felt euphoric but now I felt dread. She was back, she is reminding me. My heart squeezed and stomach upturned as I saw myself slitting her throat and laughing. I ran upstairs.

It was afternoon, I spent rest of my day vomiting. Leah came back. I saw her coming for me. Her blonde hair flying like leaves in autumn, big broad smile full of love, timid body but strong soul. I felt ashamed of myself. How could I be lord and the loser?

Night cloaked the sky, it was sleeping time when suddenly Leah came with an absurd wish,

'Can you please play the violin Dad?'

Just the word made me moan. Why was all this coming out now? I winced. I was the best player in my school, college, and work. We had met because she liked the violin. I had played it at our wedding, played it when she was pregnant, played it when Leah was born, played it when Eillie was dead.

Leah climbed on me and wiped away my tears, I looked at her. Innocent she was, blinded by the truth. She was rooting for the accused because she believed in me. I took her upstairs.

I bought up the violin, polished the bow with resin. Tucked her in bed and opened the windows, the candle was there. I closed my eyes and let the music do its magic. I played Bach, Beethoven, and Williams.

For one hour I played it without opening my eyes, letting the memories play. I was making my last apology to her and she was sitting in opposite house. I felt sorry deeply that night. I knew she was there, listening to me.

I stopped playing. There came a clap. Strong filled with hope and gratitude. But it was scary, hauntingly scary and I began feeling alone. At night everyone sleeps, no where to go. I tried my best to ignore the clapping which was sounding like clamping of jaws of a huge terrifying monster.

'Say goodbye to mama, darling. She is gonna swim forever in that garbage bag. Say ta-ta mommy'

I woke again, I forgot to take my pills. Leah was making noise, I looked at the house, but it was silent. Satisfyingly pleasant and ordinary-looking.

Almost.

I went to Leah. She was sitting still. As the moonlight shined on her, it revealed a mark of lips on her right cheek. It was wet and running. I ran and sat next to her.

'What is this Leah?' I asked, confused

'She just looks like mommy 'she said, pointing behind me.

The wind came, I looked behind. There she was, wet and skinny. Nose broken. Hair pulled out, throat cut and empty. Intestine had four big holes in it. Yet she stood stinking of blood.

' Not real, not real, ' I told myself. But she came and placed her bony hand on my shoulder. Her eyes filled with love,

'I've' she said. 'Been watching you Michael.'

'Please.' I winced,

She moved towards Leah, sitting next to her, 'Don't you miss your mommy dear? Come with me' she said brandishing the same knife I used.

'NO!'

But she bought it closer. Leah didn't move. I closed my eyes.

'You're not my mommy. Go away.' she said.

I looked up astonished. Leah sat there looking brave with the lip mark. I hugged her. A Paper fell from above.

Good Father,
Bad Husband.
~Eillie XOXO

***