Soul has touched earth:

I woke up today feeling different. Like something has shifted the frequency. There was a shift in the soil of the earth. The air smells sweeter and I could feel this buzzing in my soul. Damian appeared as his usual self all dressed in black letting me know that you have returned. This rush in my soul leaped towards wanting to find you immediately. I feel he may be hiding something from me about you. He says not to mention this to anyone till we are certain that your soul is in this body. He also refused to tell me where you are located because I know he also doesn't trust you yet. Which means that you might not be human or maybe worse you aren't who we think you are anymore. but I don't care, I just want to see your beautiful face and hug you. My soul longs to be next to you. Like I said even if we are nothing I still want you in my life. I promise I will be by your side.

Now I know why Damian kept you away from me. He is in love with you and apparently, this isn't the only time. You look so happy with him and make me sick. It makes me want to kill both of you, but I won't because you genuinely look happy next to him.

He won't let me or Ezikel come near you. Even if we promised to be on our best behavior. He almost killed Ezikel when he came too close. He knows we all have fallen in love with you. The only difference is, you guys have a soul tie and we were merely people to be your love for only once.

she can't survive:

Now Damian and Ezikel come to tell me we need to kill you because your soul is attached to something and it's not safe. I don't want to murder you. I just got you back. I have officially been hanging out with you again and these two jackasses say we have to take you out. I don't think I can. You're human, I know because I can taste it off of you when you sweat but I also can't lie. there is a taste of something evil in the air. Something has attached itself to your soul and I can't help but wonder what it is. And why it has to be now. Can we just be a happy family? Damian says no and Ezikel agrees. I must kill you and I just.

The rest of the words are smeared and covered in tears. They have been a part of every time I have died. They have even killed me once and no one told me this. No one has ever been upfront and honest. The anger in me is too much to handle and I'm done. The door opens and I see Clarissa coming in, Ezikel following right behind her fixing his hair, and then Damian throwing on his shirt. My head swings so fast and I can't help my glow turning blood red. "How many fucking times did I come back and how many times did you have to kill me. All of you." My voice is deep and pissed off. My mother is holding me back so I don't hurt them. Ezekiel looks at Damian and Clarissa just puts her fucking head down. You gotta be fucking kidding me. These people who love me keep me in the dark because they are afraid of what I'll become. The only thing they should worry about is if my mother lets me go. "How many fucking times?" If none of you answer you get the fuck out of this place and stay the fuck away from me and if you come back I will take you on as an enemy." These are not threats. These are true to who I am and I am not going to let them shatter me because they don't want to let me in. They want to keep playing it safe and keeping shit to themselves then they can do that but I'm not waiting around or dying because they want to fucking keep me in the dark. This time is different. I am not weak. I am not a pathetic human. I am the guardian of all souls and the way I see it is they have souls and I protect them or I don't.

"I know you guys know Yessica, so don't try to hide any bullshit. You either start telling me the truth or I'll figure it out on my own and you're not going to like that." Damian takes a seat and tries to act like it isn't anything big and my mother slips. She loses her grip and I grab him by the throat and slam him into the table. The tables gives a little with some cracks around his head. Ezikel tries to come and help him. I kick off the table and he flies back into the wall. Clarissa is at my side and I grab her by the neck and now both of them are pinned. "I would start answering her questions because the way I see it, you guys may be Angels, demons, or repears. But you forgetting she has your souls in her hands and she isn't fucking around. She will take you out and I will gladly help her bury you." Mom says just as pissed off as I feel. Ezikel gives and says. "I'll tell you Nubia and you may not like it. Damian and Clarissa might kick my ass later for it but I think it's time for you to know the truth and all of it, not some sugar-coated shit version. I will tell you the whole truth." Ezikel brushes himself off and holds his hand out. I release them and take his hand but before he can take me Damian reaches out and grabs my other hand. "We will all tell you the truth behind it all," Damian says trying to sound less asshole and more caring.

We sit down at the table and my mother sits next to me well the tree sits across from us. The setup may look like we are going through court. Ezikel starts, "When you first came to earth we were all children. We met every day by the waterfall by the apple tree god created. Well, something happened to the tree and it started it die. You didn't understand if something was created by god why would he let it die? God told us people had sinned and the tree was losing its soul. You gave it part of your soul. Which now we know is soul dust which you crested. You brought it back to life even as you were a human. You gave it life. You grew sick and we were afraid of losing you but god and Lucifer promised you would return 44 times to fulfill the prophecy. At the time we didn't even know what the prophecy was we just knew you would return to us and you did. Each time we were a little older and a little more grown. We were told you would not remember us but we would be drawn to you somehow or some way. We will always find you. Well, I fall in love with you. We dated for only three years and I lost you to cancer. Then I found you again and Yessica was my friend at the time. She was an angel before she became a fallen angel. She only met you glimpse because she became very wrapped in Nell and thought that was love. Well till she met you again and she developed the same feeling I had for you. We both wanted you to love us and we hid you from Damian many times since the first 5 times he met you. but he had good reasons because you died each time and he couldn't handle it. So, he sent me. For a long time, I asked for you to be with me and Yessica wanted you to be hers. We made it work but well Damian being Damian he couldn't stay away any longer because his soul loved you as much as you love him. He found a way to start secretly seeing you and then you cheated on us and kissed Damian. We saw that your guys' souls had a bright pink light. I have seen it since we were kids when you kissed him under the waterfall. He knew before us that you had soul dust colors and each one had a different meaning behind them. We also learned that if a soul tie isn't near others it could fall in love with that person but once the soul tie comes close the soul dust will change and they can't help but fall in love with who they are meant to be with. Nubia I have killed you four times out of all the times you have come back because your soul brought back some nasty souls and you had to be dealt with." I look at him when he says I have to be dealt with and want to punch him in his stupid face when Damian starts to say, "I helped him kill you because I could smell it off your soul and I knew that there was no way we could let those things walk the earth. Your soul can bring back ancient gods that were put down for creating chaos on earth, heaven, hell, and pretty much the whole fucking universe. My dad didn't want you to have your full power till the 44th time. I met Yessica when she came to me for a deal. She told me about this girl she loved and we had to protect her from someone very powerful before they took the soul out. I honestly didn't expect to see you at the table when I went to meet up with you both. She thought I could put protection on you from Nell but I couldn't do that. I made her believe that the only way to help was if I could get next to Nell and erase you from her memory. The only thing is when I erased her memory there was something more to her. Something I never felt. I told my father about it and then there were more murders mainly against angels and demons than there were in the human world. And they weren't just normal human demons. These were very wise and powerful ones. They know more about our history than anybody else in this world. They know how we were created. They were the ones and the authors of over 1 trillion books. They all were whipped out and only a few remain but I can't tell you were because no one knows." He hesitates to finish it's as if he is holding back. Finally, he continues after looking at me with his brown eyes deep into my soul. "I have loved you every time you have come to earth and each time I lost you. So yeah, I gave up on you. I gave up on us and decided that if we were ever going to get a fighting chance it would be when god and my dad got their head out of their asses and finally created you to be what you are now. You were meant to be this since we were kids but you weren't ready yet. So as always, they played with your life and we as their family did the same. I have killed you ten times. I held you well your breath escaped your body and each time I watched your soul leave. I didn't have a choice and I know you may never understand all of this and we are all over the place but we don't know what you are becoming and how far you are willing to go. Your soul can kill us all and you're so powerful you could recreate us in any way you want. This means that even if you truly love me or Ezikel you could wipe us from your memory. from the whole universe. Also, the spear you saw when you killed the demons was created by you. It was to kill me if I stepped out of line or any of my servants. You were not afraid to take me out. When you died I hid the spear and then it was moved by archeologists and soon it was forgotten. But the spear has the rest of your soul in it. You have half of your life to it just doing it could kill us. I'm sorry that we keep you in the dark and there is so much more we need to feel you but I need to start here and then we can see how much more you can take." He looks down after he is. Finished and I just got up from the table and walked away from the people who had to take my life in their own hands as well as watch me die. They fell in love with me but also fucked with bye life. How much more did they do to me and expect me to just be okay? I open my door walk through it close it and slide my bed against the door frame. I just need a day to sleep this all off and hope to wake up for more answers.