I feel the sudden urge to throw up at two in the morning this lovely Wednesday morning. First, I start to freak out because what if I'm pregnant? What if Plan B didn't work after all, but then I realize I'm freezing and feel like I need to throw up again? Nope this is definitely something else. I'm so glad that Candy has her earbuds in or she would wake up and try to comfort me. I don't like that shit, I just want to be miserable all by myself. I send my instructors emails letting them know I won't be in today, as well as letting my groups know I will be out and most likely not able to attend the labs. I message Ezikel and privately to let him know we won't be able to catch the movie. Of course I get sick the day I'm supposed to go on my first date with the most attractive boy, well besides Damian but I ain't telling no one. I feel sick to my stomach again, I'm sure me and this toilet will be best friends for a while. I don't know when I fell asleep leaning against the toilet but Candy came in and said way too loud, "Girl you okay let me help you up." She goes to grab me up and my whole body hurts. I feel like it may just give up on me. "Girl you are burning up. I think we need to take you to the health center." She is way too loud, my head is hurting too much. As we walk out the door we are greeted by someone at the door and all of a sudden I'm floating in the air. Then I'm sure I hear Candy say Ezikel and my eyes open all the way. And yes there he is, tall handsome and beyond gorgeous. We get to the health center and I am not the only one who feels like they're dying today. One of the nurses tells Ezikel to put me down and they check my temperature which turns out to be 105.9. No wonder I'm freezing and my body hurts, I'm sure this is the flu.
It feels like hours pass when a nurse finally comes and gives me meds for both frat flu and strep. A double whammy just for me in a pretty little fuck you gift. I get up and feel like my world may collapse on me. The nurse instructs Candy and Ezikel how to best treat them both but I am honestly so dazed from the fever that I don't even truly listen or honestly care to listen. I close my eyes and open them and we are back in the dorm. Did Ezikel carry me all the way back and I just slept in his arms. How embarrassing to be seen like this. I try to sit up and I am handed meds and told to lay back down. I do as instructed because I can't get up even if I want to. My phone goes off and I feel it vibrating constantly. I try to kick it but I can't find it. Then I hear a deep voice in the distance I'm assuming grabs my phone talks to someone and last I hear, "Yes sir." If there is anyone I know who would get a yes sir it would be my dad. "Shhh don't tell him I'm sick. He will fly out here and sleep on the floor." I say what feels like a whisper. My mouth is so dry. "Don't worry I let him know that you're on meds and getting lots of rest. I also let him know all your friends are taking turns to take care of you." He chuckles before I crash out again.
There's a loud knock on the door and a deep voice booming in the room. I know that voice anywhere it's Damian and I think Ezikel talking. They are whispering to each other. I try hard to wake up enough to listen but I only catch, "Look I don't have a choice just watch her and make sure she stays hydrated. Also don't fucking touch her. She isn't ready yet." Ezikel breathes that last sentence out loud and I'm asleep again. I feel myself being pushed over and a warm arm wraps around my waist. This feeling is the feeling I need, a buzz through my body. Feeling what I'm assuming may be love someone pours into another, to will them to feel better. I move closer to him, my legs move to push against his. I move my hand to find him by my pillow side and I slide my fingers in between his. My pain starts to subside. The headache that felt like I might have died disappeared. My body finally feels relaxed and I start to dream of a brooding boy that may be stealing my heart. I start to move and still feel a heavy arm around my waist. I slowly turn around to see a very relaxed handsome sleeping man next to me. His eyebrows furrow and he makes a growl sound. I wish I could know what he is dreaming about and why it taunts him in his sleeping realm. He tightens his arm around my back and pulls me in closer, "Please don't leave me, I may die without your touch." His voice is weak and shattered. It breaks my heart to hear a man who puts a front up to hide all the pain he hides inside. I whisper back, "I'll never leave. I'll find you even when the sky is burnt out and the stars have no flame. I'll love you in this lifetime and the next. I'll always find a way to you."  He grins and pulls me into his chest. I don't know if he actually heard what I said but I meant every word. I fall easily back into sleep against the beating of his chest.
I wake to an empty bed, a sleeping Ezikel on the floor, and Candy sleeping with no earbuds in. These people stayed by my side all day yesterday and night. Ezikel shuffles and realizes I'm awake. He wakes up and starts to move to get up. I wave my hands to show him I'm okay. The sun is peaking over the mountains as I look out the window. I look for my phone and see that it hasn't only been a day it's been three. It's five in the morning on Saturday and there are currently a million messages from my dad, from the groups, and many messages from Ezikel and Damian. Each one has nothing but concern. Asking what I need and what they can do. My dad worried about me and said that if I'm not better by Sunday he is getting the first flight out there. I shot him a text letting him know that I am alive and feeling way better. I also will need to make sure I stock up on my vitamins and never share drinks with frat people again. He sent me a million laughing emojis and he hoped I learned my lesson. He still booked a flight for Sunday and will be in at 6:45 pm. I knew there was no stopping this man to come see, especially since I was sick for a long time and he felt helpless on the other side of the world. I know it's not but to him I know that's how he felt.
Ezikel comes to sit next to me. "I am so thankful that you are feeling better. I'm also glad to see you finally moving around." He is staring at me like I might just pass out again." I'm so sorry I scared you and.." he doesn't even let me finish when he cuts me off and hugs me. "Don't ever apologize for things you can't control. I am just happy you are awake and kicking." He grabs my hand and then starts to slide off my bed.  I walk him out and he hugs me one more time. He hugged me like he was going to lose me. I go to my phone and message Damian: thank you for being here. He read the message but doesn't reply. I'm sure he is sleeping and might of just read the message and fell back asleep. I lay back down and fell back to sleep with the thoughts of a boy who pleaded with me not to leave him. I wake up to Candy running into something. I roll over and look at her. "Sorry darling I have to get to the movies, would love to catch up on how better you feel but let's do this after my date okay? She kisses my forehead and runs out the door. I laugh at the thought of her kissing me and leaving like a parent would to a kid. I go to look at my phone and there is still no message from Damian. I contemplate to message him again but decided not to worry about it. I'm in the process of gathering my homework and reading emails when there is a knock at the door. I open it to find that Damian is standing in my doorway.
"What do you think you're doing." He is upset at me and I don't know for what. "What am I doing?" I try to figure out when I look around the room. He gets upset and looks me up and down. "I think you owe me for doing so much for you. I showed up and stayed with you for two nights in a row and I didn't even get to fuck you. That's what I want you to do. I want us to fuck right now." He leans in to grab me close to him and I just slap him right across the face so hard my hand hurts. "How dare you. How dare you think I owe you something when you didn't have to do anything. How dare you think you could come in here and demand sex from me for helping me out. I didn't ask you to stay those two days. I didn't ask you to help me. You did it out of your own fucking will." I'm out of breath and feel the tears flowing down my cheeks. He looks at me and opens his mouth and the next words that come out hit like bullets, "Don't look pathetic. Trying to cry to get a reaction out of me. You are so fucking pathetic thinking I would care for you in any way. I mean look at you. You are worth nothing to me. Just some girl who wants everyone to fall to her feet and treat her like she is something special. Fucking pathetic." I think my soul officially left my body. My tears stopped flowing and I look him dead in the eye, "fuck you. From this day on we. Are partners for the class if you don't want to be moved to another group. I don't give a shit. I'm done with you and everything you said. You, you are nothing to me and everyone who wants to fuck you just for your looks. So, yeah, fuck you." I move to push him out the door but he turns around and walks out. I feel my heart and soul break. What the fuck was I thinking that I could be something with this asshole. He is too damaged and doesn't care about anyone but himself. I fall to the ground and hold myself. I hate him. I fucking hate him and honestly don't want nothing to do with him. I get up off the ground and go into the shower.
I pick my dad up and hug him tighter than I normally would, but when you need a dad hug they come in handy when you have been a complete wreck this week. "Wow, I missed you too darling. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I missed you too. My dad only stays for a day he comes to classes with me on Monday. We eat all my favorite food, junk, and weird things I like when I'm upset. Monday night I walk him to his Uber and hug him longer and tighter before he gets in. Our number rule is to never say bye when we leave and if the emotions are too high we just wave to each other. I start to walk back to my room when I hear a deep voice coming around the corner. Damian and Clarissa come around the corner and I lift my head high and walk right past them without even glancing or saying hi to them. Clarissa whispers something and Damian laughs obnoxiously loud for me to hear. I emailed the instructor that night to be moved to another group and sadly I was declined just like Damian was. Her best word of advice is to suck it up and make it work. As I get ready for sleep I make the decision that I will be civil and only make it about or labs and nothing else. I will never fall for his bullshit again.