08. I can survive without sleep

Naz glared at the ceiling, eyes tight with sleep but the constant flipping of pages overhead was enough to drive the light sleeper crazy. She peeked at Natasha who seemed to have fallen asleep ages ago. What was the time?

Sure enough the wall on the clock was showing fifteen past three. Finally, unable to take it anymore, she whispered, "Loki?"

He took his sweet time to answer, flipping over another page, the lamplight continuing to shine over Naz's head. "Hmm?"

"Go sleep."

"I don't feel sleepy," he said, eyes stubbornly on the page. "Why don't you sleep? Your fidgeting about will wake the agent."

Naz sat up, angrily, "Oh I am fidgeting? You're continuously going flap flap flap over my head like a giant owl while that wretched lamp is shooting flares across my eyelids."

Loki raised his eyebrows and gave her a slant look, "Why is Elizabeth so hard on Darcy?"

"I-wait, what?"

"He is clearly trying his best but no, she has to be impatient and judgemental and downright rude," he sat up too, placing Pride and Prejudice beside himself on the sofa.

"Excuse me?" she looked aghast. "You're taking Darcy's side? He is horribly rude and totally misguided in everything he does till about two-thirds of the book and if it wasn't for Elizabeth, he would have stayed the same fucking way! Now, go sleep." She flopped back to mattress and turned away.

Loki looked at her figure now completely engulfed in the blanket and rolled his eyes, "I can't."

"Can't what?" she asked in a low voice, without turning.

He gave a short cold laugh, "Sleep?" He fidgeted with his shirt sleeve, "You know what happens if I sleep."

She turned back slowly, "Loki..."

He picked up the book and laid back, "It's okay. I'll just mark my page and switch off the light."

She pushed off her covers and sat up again, "Loki, you-"

"Good night, Naz," he said, switching off the lamplight.

"You can't go on keeping awake because of your nightmares," she said, her voice a soft whisper.

When he didn't answer, she reached out to his shoulder tentatively. She knew he wasn't big on physical contact. Well, unless he was delirious in the middle of the night. Okay, it was way past middle of the night. A little comforting pat on the shoulder wouldn't hurt, right?

Her hand wavered uncertainly in the air as she said, "Besides, I'm here. You'll be fine. You really need your beauty sleep, okay? Or you'll have huge dark circles like mine, okay? Tell you what, if you're not going to sleep, please don't stop...umm you can read Pride and Prejudice, okay?"

He sighed, "No, its okay. I was going to put the book down any way. Elizabeth was getting on my nerves."

She shook her head in the dark, feeling helpless at his situation (and of course, angry at his lack of Lizzy-love). "Look, I'm right here. Loki, look at me."

He shifted to face her, "I can't really see you in the dark."

"It's not that dark, I can see your pointy nose."

"I'm sure it's a flattering sight. Go sleep," he replied in a bored voice.

"You can sleep. Just because there are other people in the house doesn't mean you force yourself to stay up. We might be together for days. What would you do then?"

"I'm a God, I can survive without sleep," he stifled a yawn, willing his eyes to stay open.

She pulled her mattress closer to the couch and lay back, reaching a hand towards him, "Uh can you hold out your hand?"

"No."

"C'mon, don't be an ass."

He unwillingly held out his arm towards her in the dark.

She felt around for it, finally finding it, entwining her fingers with his. "I know you're going through a lot and you're stubborn as anything and you hate asking for help but you should know, you're not alone."

His fingers tightened around her for a second before relaxing, "I don't need your help."

But he didn't let go and she couldn't help but smile when she mumbled back, "Of course."

---

It's true, light sleepers do have it worse but if you're accustomed to live alone your sleep cycle gets better and you get used to having an undisturbed sleep. So when Naz finally slept around four, only after hearing Loki's rhythmic breathing, she was horribly scared to be woken up again not even an hour later with a hand pressed to her mouth. She struggled, eyes focusing on her attacker.

"Tony?" she mumbled.

He lifted a finger to his lips and let go of her.

"What the hell are-?"

"Shush," he pointed to the windows, motioning her to follow him to the other end of the room.

She frowned but followed him, rubbing her eyes as she took note of the time. "Care to explain why you woke me up in that highly terrifying manner?"

"I have to tell you something," he said earnestly. His eyes were bloodshot and she could easily guess he hadn't slept one wink.

She opened her mouth to say something but then, nodded, "Go on."

"Wait a second," he looked at her suspiciously, "you were about to say something more."

"No, I wasn't," she said, guiltily.

"Yes, you were. I thought we were friends, Scissorhands."

She smiled tiredly, "The best."

"Then do I get the scoop or not?"

"You first."

"No, you. I'm intrigued now."

"I think there's something weird going with me."

"I think there's something weird going with me."

"Wait, with you?"

"Wait, with you?"

"Stop doing that."

"Stop doing that."

Naz gave him a look, "Tony, if you think waking me at five in the morning for a mimicry game is funny, I'm going to break your nose."

"Woah, Loki is rubbing off on you, Snipsnap," Tony said. "But seriously I think there is definitely something wrong with me. I think my panic attacks are coming back."

She looked concerned, "Tony, oh my. I am so calling Emerson in the morning. I know talking helps and I love talking to you so that's okay but you need a calm environment, some therapy and a freaking doctor. I don't even understand how you'll get a calm environment with the way you go abo-"

Tony gave a smile, "Calm down, kiddo. You look like you're having a panic attack yourself. I'll take care of myself right after we are done dealing with all this. I have a plan; a very foolproof one-"

"Tony, you'll find something else to work on after this and as for your foolproof plan, give me Pepper's number, I'm going to call her so she can come right away and talk some sense into you."

"You know she won't come 'right away' as you put it. She's still angry about the stunt I pulled off last time-"

"Well, you did tell her, you lied, that you were dying within two hours with metal splinters inching towards your heart. Of course, she was angry but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about you anymore." She stopped and hugged her friend, "You are not going to take on Thanos with a broken leg and an out-of-order suit."

"Just hear me out," he said, sounding tired himself, as he hugged her back with his characteristic half-hug, half-shrug. He stepped back slowly, "I am not taking on Thanos but I will go crazy here. He did something to me, Naz, and I have never been so scared. You don't know what he is capable of and how he little he cares for the beings on this planet. He will wipe us out. I need to get my Tower back, get a suit, figure out a plan..."

"So you don't have a plan."

"Well, kinda. See my plan is to go meet Pepper-"

She nodded, "Fine, I'll come with you."

"No," he frowned. "It's dangerous to be with an Avenger these days or haven't you been listening to Romanoff and Barton. You could get killed."

"And you hop around on one leg," she pointed out. "I think I have better chances at fighting against Chitauris at the moment than you."

"You break my heart at your distrust in my abilities," he mock-cried. "But," he sobered and looked at her, "every second I spend here is a second that goes into reliving what Thanos made me see. I need-" He took a deep breath as his voice shook, "She died a hundred times in front of me. I need to make sure she's okay. They could be tracking her as we speak. She has been hurt before because people were after me. I need to know she's safe and if she's not, ensure that she is."

"Can you take Clint at least?" she asked after he related all that had happened at the Tower earlier.

He avoided her question. "I wonder how he does it."

She followed his gaze to the couch and nodded slowly, "You know then."

"Wait, you know too? Wait a sec, let's be clear on this. You know what about Loki?"

She bit her lip, "I know why he did what he did and that he wasn't in full control of anything, that he is still haunted by Thanos, still in pain, still suffering—will you guys seriously take him back to a cell in Asgard once this is over?"

"That depends on Thor."

"Then I'll speak to him."

Tony nodded, "Is that what you were going to tell me about earlier?"

"No...well, it is linked to Loki but I think the problem is with me." She told him about the visions, how they had started suddenly, how they were becoming stronger but at the same time, how they had no rhyme or reason to them, appearing as and when they pleased.

"And right when Clint shot at Loki, something even weirder happened. I stopped that arrow, Tony, but I hadn't even touched it. I felt it though, colliding sharply with my arm even as my arm was inches away from the thing. I-it sound crazy but it felt as if I had somehow..."

Tony had heard the story awkwardly, his face betraying signs of something close to worry rather than disbelief.

"It felt like I had somehow moved out of my body, as if my mind was an extension...ugh, it's difficult to explain"

He scoffed, "That's not possible. I think Loki's being here plus dealing with our troubles is taking a toll on you. You need to sleep more and visit Emerson. He'll know what to give for hallucinations."

She heaved a sigh, "I suppose I should do that because it seems to me I am going mad."

"Happens to the best of us," Tony ruffled her hair.

A few inches away, Loki frowned as he clearly felt the lies on each and every word of Tony's little reply regarding Naz's abilities. He could sense Tony believed all that Naz was saying but why he would lie to his friend on this huge an issue, he wasn't sure about. Tony was hiding something, something about Naz. As for Naz, she grew curiouser and curiouser.

In the dark his eyes met another set of eyes, shining eerily through the shadows that fell over the mattresses.

Natasha Romanoff was awake and had probably heard every bit of the conversation across the room for her calm stare reflected the same thoughts that were going through his head.

Tony Stark was lying.

---

The next morning, Tony was gone.

"Did he vanish into thin air?" Naz asked for the hundredth time, pacing anxiously around the room.

"He flew out of your window," Clint answered patiently, once again.

She looked at Clint and then at Natasha, "How are you two not worried? He could get killed out there!"

Natasha heaved an annoyed sigh, "If we worried every time Tony ran off on some chase, we'd be dysfunctional. Stop pacing and go do your job."

When they had first met, Natasha had been tailing Tony on a covert job ordered by Fury. After waiting outside Naz's Haircare Salon for five hours, she had seen Tony leave and decided to check out the place.

And that was how she found herself getting a haircut by Nazneen Naqvi, the cheerful, talkative barber. Nat had been forced to admit to herself that Tony had led her on a wild goose chase. The place was clean. It was just a barbershop. Nothing else.

Of course, it was pathetic that Tony used the place as an alternative to therapy. Nat herself had been her cold self, answering polite questions with monosyllables.

The second time they met was on accident. Well, kind of. Nat was being chased by a duo of killer spies and finding herself in the area had decided to use the barber-shop as a hiding place. Naz had calmly followed her quick orders, ignoring the deep gash of a knife wound on her arm as well as the fresh bruises on her face.

The third time was purely because she had been in need of a friend and a haircut, of course. The Black Widow didn't have friends so she decided to go for a haircut instead. Her heart had been in shreds but her exterior didn't betray a crack.

The fourth time she had bumped into Tony and that might have turned out ugly but fortunately for Tony, Naz could calm down volcanoes the minute she saw sparks.

And again and again.

And so Natasha knew that Naz could take whatever she was saying right now. Naz was a civilian, she needn't make sacrifices. That was the Avengers' job, dammit! The redhead frowned angrily at the girl she now thought of as a friend. Did Naz even know how lucky she was to have the opportunity for a normal life, a normal job, a normal but definite future ahead of her? Did she even realize how precious normalcy was?

Don't scratch the surface, its horrifying inside. The world is horrifying, you're lucky to never know its true terrors. Don't look for them.

"You can't expect me to actually go do my useless job when Tony is in danger," Naz protested, shocked.

Maybe a well-meant slap would have helped, Nat couldn't help but think.

Clint was standing beside them trying to think of something soothing to say but Loki was sitting on the couch, smiling with great relish at the signs of an argument. Oh he loved a good piece of chaos early in the morning. His body felt better too, slightly energized by the little bit of magic he could summon without frying his brain. He couldn't help but feel extremely annoyed that Stark had vanished before he could have threatened him to extract the chip from his head.

His smirk dropped as he realized that the minute he got full control of his powers, he would bolt. His eyes roamed across the apartment, his mind tuning out the silly argument that silly mortals were engaging in.

Away from all this.

Where would he go?

Anywhere but home.

What would he do?

Get into trouble, probably.

Well, future looked like shit already. Sometimes, immortality could be such a pain.

A thought as bright as lightning cut through his mind and the shock of it took his breath away. His eyes sneaked a glance at the dark haired girl who was still arguing and he shook his head ever so slightly, a rueful smile tugging at his lips. No.

The bell rang and he couldn't help but feel conflicted at how Naz's eyes lit up as she cried out, "That must be Tony, thank God."

He reached out with what little power he could spare, irritated by how his magic was available to him only as miserly drops instead of the tumultuous sea of power he usually had at his command. Damn Thor for bringing him to Stark. Damn Stark for putting the magic-barring chip in his head. His fingers itched to tear at the stitches above the nape of his neck and pull out the infuriating device. Until he had his magic, even breathing felt a labour. He frowned, pushing at his limits, using what little he could and he could just make out the life force outside the door even as Naz's fingers turned the doorknob.

Loki looked at Natasha quickly and she caught his swift glance. And they both knew that it wasn't Tony outside the door. Only he could guess who it was though.

"Um, I'm sorry but is this Nazneen Naqvi's house? I'm a friend of Cl-"

The slightly panting man with a soft, questioning smile had been speaking in his equally soft, apologetic voice as if afraid of what could happen if he raised it. His polite smiled dropped as his eyes focused through his simple spectacles at the woman behind Naz.

And that was how Natasha and Bruce met.

***

dedicated to this cutie _capriciously_ who has very patiently waited for Thor gifs.

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OMG RACH THE AMAZING made these beautiful quotepics for her ig and I'm in love like woahhh me likey very much. Thank you, CARRYONMYWAYWARDMOON! <3

Lastly, I just love writing #NAZLOK LIKE YAS YAS MORE.