01. I have no social life

NAZNEEN NAQVI PUT DOWN the Sudoku she had been solving in the newspaper when she heard the door chimes ring shrilly. Twirling around in her chair, she smiled as she saw Steve Rogers, one of the regular customers of Naz's Hair Care, walk in looking tense.

Captain America looking tense was also a regular mood of their friendship. She guessed it was probably another run-in with Tony. Last time that had happened, they had both come in to the salon at the exact same time and nearly destroyed the whole place down. Steve had been profusely apologetic to her after the incident and Tony had very generously paid for the losses after commenting dryly that she was supposed to be his hairdresser and not go gallivanting with people he wasn't talking to.

They were behaving like children, squabbling way after the fight, not even remembering why they were angry with each other. Well, actually they did remember. That part wasn't easy to forget. What with Rhodey still not fully recovered and Bucky in the cryo, they needed each other as much as the world needed them together but that wasn't happening anytime soon, it seemed. Instead they came to the dingy hairdresser's in the even dingier Lester Apartments, preferring to see a hairdresser rather than a therapist.

"What's up, Steve?" She asked, jumping off the chair, trying to keep the concern out of her voice. He hated to think that he was making her worried over him and he would clam up immediately if he noticed it. He was lonely and he just wanted to talk about everything but that didn't mean it was easy. Guilt was eating at him and he would rather fight with it all alone than let someone else be dragged unnecessarily into his own battles; he had had enough of that recently.

"Hello, Naz," he gave her a small smile. "How's business?"

She looked around the empty shop with a laugh, "What do you think?" Truth was, Tony and Steve (Natasha too, but she had been busier lately) were probably the only loyal customers the place had while a couple or so of one-timers would come in now and then. Enough to get her by—actually, Tony alone was enough to get her by. Some part of his brain felt that getting a tiny, inconsequential haircut and a five-hour a day worth of talking sessions was enough to warrant a huge fee. "See, this way I'm not being selfish Tony Stark but a kind, billionaire, philanthropist," he would point out every time she refused to take the extra money.

Steve was tapping his right foot nervously, looking around the shop, "I don't really want a haircut."

Yeah, that much even she knew. If he tried getting anymore haircuts he would become bald and even though it hardly mattered whether Captain America had hair on his head or not, she knew Sharon wouldn't really appreciate it and she didn't want to pick a fight with Sharon.

"Its okay," Naz nodded, softly. "Want to try Sudoku?"

Sudoku had become a Naz and Steve thing over the last couple of weeks. He would come in, sit around for hours just asking about her and helping her solve the puzzle instead of talking about what was bothering him. Talking came after solving the puzzle. Like all puzzles, Steve had a pattern and like all puzzle-solvers, Naz had learnt his by heart.

Today turned out to be different. He shook his head, "Maybe later. Uh, you know Thor?"

"Huge guy with blonde hair, ripped muscles and personalized hammer. Also, Norse God, which is so cool," she fangirled. "Of course, I know him."

Something that sounded suspiciously like a muffled snort sounded outside the door. Steve pointed towards the door, "He's outside. Can I call him in?"

"Can you call him in!? Why did you leave him outside? Call him in, please," she grinned.

Steve smiled finally, letting out a sigh of relief, "Thor, you can come in. Better leave him outside with Sif, though."

The door opened with the chimes announcing his arrival merrily. A blonde head peeked in and then disappeared, opening the door fully. The tall, broad God stepped in, hastily running his hand through his hair, patting it down. He smiled widely, "Lady Nazneen, it gives me utmost pleasure to make your acquaintance." He began to bow but must have remembered that it wasn't the proper mode of address here and stiffly put forward his arm for a handshake.

Nazneen was wonderstruck at his appearance and she shook his hand as if it would disappear any minute, "Oh my God, Thor, uh—shit—um please sit down, what would you like to have? Coffee, tea?" She whispered to Steve, "What do Asgardians drink anyway?"

Thor looked at the excited woman in front of him and felt immediately uneasy at what they were going to ask of her. She looked like a child. He glanced at Steve who was grinning at the exchange.

"Go on, Thor, what do Asgardians drink anyway? I'm curious too," he asked.

"Some excellent ambrosial mead that humans cannot seem to replicate," Thor replied. "I did hand you a small portion of it once, do you remember? At that party the metal-man hosted for some obscure reason? You became very—what do you people call it—tipsy! And tried to kiss Dr. Banner, referring to him as Peggy?"

Steve blushed, "That didn't happen. Nope, Naz, I did not try to kiss Bruce."

"You are very kind, Lady Nazneen-"

She giggled, "Call me Naz, please. All my friends do."

"Very, Lady Naz, I came to ask you, not for coffee or tea or a haircut—we have very efficient barbers in Asgard and I found a similar one in the Under Down-"

"He means Down Under," Steve provided helpfully.

"-what I have come to ask of you, after hearing your mighty praise from both Captain Rogers and Metal-man, is more difficult. I have come to ask a favour of you."

Naz raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Of me? What can I do? I'm just a very bad hairdresser but go ahead, if it's in my power, I would do it."

Thor took a deep breath and smiled hugely, "Would you consent to take care of Loki for the weekend?"

Naz swallowed and asked Steve, "Please tell me he named his pet cat after his wayward and horribly evil brother and he wants me to take care of the cat?"

"I don't understand?" Thor asked, hopefully.

"No, he means his wayward and horribly evil brother," Steve provided.

"Are you nuts? Look after the guy who nearly destroyed the whole of New York city? Why?"

"He's in..." Steve looked up for the right words, "He's in trouble and we need to keep him on the low for a couple of days."

"He nearly killed you all. Steve, does Tony know about this? Are you trying another stunt? Because I understand about James but Loki is pure evil, he's a maniac."

"Loki is of Asgard and he is my brother," Thor interjected with a frown.

Naz gave him a pointed look, "Natasha told me he killed eighty people in two days."

Thor bent slightly to get to her level and whispered with embarassment, "He's adopted?"

Naz's eyes widened as she realized why he was whispering, "Oh no, he's not outside is it? I'm sorry but I can't do this. I am really ill-equipped for this job. Don't you guys have like a S.H.I.E.L.D safehouse or something? Or just stash him away in one of the levels on the Stark Tower?"

"It's complicated. The safest place is off-grid and you're as much off-grid as it gets."

"Thanks for letting the God of Lightning know I have no social life," she glared at Steve.

"I wish we could tell you more but the rest is classified information and it could put you at risk."

"You can't expect me to be okay going in blind. You have to tell me something because how am I—" She looked away, "Ask me anything else but not this. You know why I can't."

Steve nodded, "I'm sorry but we had to try. Let's go, Thor."

"But-but-"

Steve gave him a look and tilted his head towards the door.

"Loki isn't what everyone thinks him to be," Thor said, stubbornly.

"Man, he kidnapped your father and fooled everyone into thinking he's Odin for months while your father was roaming on Earth, stripped of his magic."

Thor gave a nervous laugh, "A prank he had paid for. Especially after what happened recently, it would be safe to say he has paid the recompense of all his crimes in full and beyond. However, I understand it is not a sentiment that can be easily shared." He nodded at Naz. "Thank you for your hospitality, Lady Naz."

"I'm really sorry."

He stood routed to the spot awkwardly until Steve dragged him away.

Outside, well out of Naz's earshot, Thor turned to Steve, "We didn't even try. We should have told her more. Maybe she would have agreed."

Steve clenched his jaw, "I know she will agree. It's just that the wrong people are asking."

"I don't understand. Are we the wrong people? She seemed to like me."

"There's someone she likes more."

---

Within two hours of the strange visit and the even stranger request, Naz sat in the shop, feeling very guilty about having let down Steve and Thor. Maybe she should have agreed. But this was the God of Mischief they were talking about!

And he has paid his recompense, Thor's words came back to her. She should have agreed, she thought. Where would she have kept him? Her apartment was small. Even small was an overstatement. Miniscule was more like it. She could give him her bedroom and take the couch. It was just the matter of a weekend. Two days, three nights.

But she couldn't help remember all she knew about Loki. Tony and her had met after the Chitauri incident but it was all he had talked about, all she had talked about. It had been a turning point in her life and it had been the recurring source of his panic attacks. Though why he had been roaming around this part of the city looking for yet another shawarma joint was something she would never understand.

Loki killed with ease, he betrayed even the people closest to him, he was horror and nightmare and he played with people like they were mere toys to him. Could she take the risk of his manipulations and tricks?

Or maybe he wouldn't give a damn about her. Maybe he would just stay locked up in the bedroom and let her live peacefully.

Maybe she was judging him too harshly. From second hand accounts of two disturbed individuals. If he had served his punishment, he was free according to law. He might not have been innocent but if Thor was right, Loki wasn't to be seen as a criminal any longer.

How right was Thor?

She wished they would tell her more. Something for her to trust and build on, to know where she was at but Steve had been reluctant to divulge into any more details than absolutely necessary. She hated being in the dark, hated facing the unknown. She glanced at her hands which had been wrestling a Rubik's Cube while she had been wrestling with her thoughts. She twisted a panel and kept the finished puzzle on the shelf beside the shampoos.

Deciding something, she picked up her phone, scrolling to the "S" names in the contacts.

"I told them you would soften up anyway but they decided to push me into being the middle man."

She turned with a huge smile at the voice, "Tony!" she ran to hug him and he responded as he usually did; awkwardly with a short shrug-hug thing he did.

"I also told them Scissorhands is probably stalling until she gets to meet me," he smirked, taking off his glasses.

"I had the strangest day ever," Naz told him as they sat down on the stools in the waiting area which was also the reception of the shop.

"Capsicle and Hammerhead came all macho into your shop and demanded you star in a new version of His Brother's Keeper? Yeah, I kind of got the memo. Captain Righteous filled me in on the details," he said the last sentence tightly.

"You and Steve had a talk? Like a real talk with both of you actually speaking to each other? This is the strangest day ever."

Tony scoffed, "Haha, don't look so pleased about it. I was willing to talk if he ever let go of his ego. Anyway, I'm here to convince you to take on the offer."

Naz opened her mouth but Tony shushed her, "But before you say anything else or start writing little poems about Steve and my budding friendship, Steve and Thor are probably outside, listening at the keyhole. Come in, you perverts."

The door opened and the duo entered protesting against Tony's remarks, looking very red at being caught eavesdropping.

"How about we just go up to your apartment? This place gives me the creeps. All those mirrors staring at me," Tony shuddered.

"I thought you would love to see your face across every surface you see," Steve said, icily.

Tony rolled his eyes, "I would but you see your face is everywhere too and that's what's creeping me out."

Naz led Thor up the stairs while the other two bickered all the way to the ninth floor. She whispered happily, "Hashtag Stony is definitely back."

"What is a Stony?" Thor asked, concentrating on her words over the sound of the other two. "Jane says I am improving with the—er—lingo but I think I am not. You people never talk straight."

"You are doing just fine, I think," Naz laughed, "but if you want I could give you a Pop Culture 101 anytime you want."

"Yeah, I don't understand what that is either."

"It means I'll teach the popular stuff, references and phrases, etc?"

Thor stopped for a second, "I would be extremely honoured and grateful if you would."

Naz nodded, "Anytime, dude."

"Could Steve join in too? He's very bad at the stuff too. Makes me feel less of a dolt."

"Sure," Naz laughed, "it's nothing to feel a dolt about, you know? No one here would get most of the Asgardian references, okay? By that logic, we're equally dolts, all of us."

"When all this is over, I will take you to meet Jane. She would like you."

"Thank you. I would love to meet the famous Jane."

"Yes," Thor thought aloud, "she would definitely like you."

"And here we are," Naz huffed after the long climb. While Thor and Steve hadn't even broken a sweat, Tony was trailing behind, clutching at his chest and making dying noises.

"Well," he took a draught of air, "at least he wouldn't be able to escape down the stairs. These would kill anyone."

Over coffee which Tony begged Naz to make from the coffee maker he had gifted to her last year, he told her about Operation Jailbreak. After Loki had apparently died helping Thor save Jane, he had somehow managed to come back from the dead ("A trick Reindeer Games is all mum about, mind you," Tony huffed), drug Odin, stripped him of his powers, banished him to Earth ("Midgard," offered Thor helpfully) and proceeded to rule over Asgard for a good three months ("Not Earth months but Asgard months, I have no idea what that means," Steve pointed out) until Jane and Thor found Odin wandering around like a crazed squatter warning everyone about the apocalypse.

After which Loki was thrown into a rigorous prison cell and rot for eternity but that didn't last long because some of Thanos' minions broke him out. He conjured up an illusion of himself in place but whatever he thought their deal was, he was wrong. Thanos approached him through a well-orchestrated portal and kidnapped him. Thor was on Earth when Odin contacted him about the jailbreak.

"He had been missing for months because nobody ever visited him apart from a couple of guards sent to supervise him now and then and it took me months to locate him. I-I don't know how long it was for him over there in . When I found him, I thought he was gone. He was nearly," Thor looked down at his hands.

"What happened? Why did they take him?" Naz asked but it came out as a whisper.

"The Cosma is a divine, living force that has lived since the Before and it connects the Nine Realms, within and beyond. The Tesseract was a fragment of the power of Cosma and somehow through it, the Cosma imprinted on Loki. He holds the key to all doors, across space and time. He doesn't know how to use it though. He can't control it but someone who wants to control the Cosma has only to control Loki. Thanos wanted a few more doors to open."

"To where?" She already knew the answer but she asked anyway, hoping against hope.

"To Earth and Asgard to begin with," Steve said. "And then, who knows where he'll stop?"

"I brought him here so that he would be safe. Asgard seems to have a leak..."

"And now we have reason to believe, so does Earth," Tony quipped. "We took him to the Avengers quarters but someone already sent these weirdass aliens to kidnap Loki again. I would paint you a drawing but they're ugly."

Steve nodded, "We managed to get him out but until we can find out our leak, we need you to keep him here. You're the only one we can trust."

Naz swallowed, "Okay."

"So, basically," Tony recapped after the Cap, "basically what Capsicle here means to say is that we aren't really ordering you, a small-time hairdresser, into rooming with the evillest supervillain of the universe who is also immortal and slightly, just a teensy bit insane...what he means to say is that we are giving you an opportunity to save, not just one world, but worlds."

Nazneen looked at the two men and one God in front of her with a quirked eyebrow.

Tony quickly added with a charming smile, "Plus, Loki is handcuffed with this little baby I cooked up, cuts off his magic like a fuse, very genius of me, I know--okay, Dr. Selvig helped with like 12% of it—you get the point. So, basically what we mean to say is...will you babysit Thor's little brother for the weekend while we go beat some baddies and clear the air? C'mon, what possible harm could come of this?"

Steve nudged Tony, "She already said okay."

Tony looked at Naz with surprise, "You did!? Yeah, you did! What kind moron are you to room with Doofenshmirtz?" He winked playfully, "Kidding. Okay, guys, get him in."

Naz narrowed her eyes at Tony, realizing that he had known all along that she would say yes. She watched cautiously as the door to her apartment unlocked from the outside and in walked the God of Mischief himself, a lazy smile playing across his lips as he defiantly stared at her with the promise of dangerous amusement in his eyes.

"Well, hello, Nazneen with a deathwish."

---

Dedicated to welfarism for being the awesome sister she is, fellow-Loki girl and all.

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Hello, everyone. And so it begins. This is my first Marvel fanfic and I'm kind of really freaking out about it so please be kind lol and tell me if you like it by voting and commenting. Don't forget to add it to your library!