n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand, that don't even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

* * *

Days passed and Goyo's nightmares continue. Often, I'll be hearing his moans from my room. I always make a mental note to count to a hundred before deciding to check on him to wake him up. Good thing that he usually wakes up halfway. My prayers had been always with him, knowing that I hate to continue barging in his room just to console him. But our midnight talks, both of us no longer able to sleep after such episodes, remain. The wooden wall between us as we converse about random things become a witness of it.

Until, one night that even a count to a hundred didn't pull him to wake up. Only then that I take my shawl with me and wake him up. Just like that first night that I encounter him being plunge by his nightmare. I wake him, calling for his name as my hands remain on his shoulders, shaking him a little. Thankfully, he is easily swayed by that and he awakes.

When he does, he looks at me. His face sweaty and confused. And like usual, he asks me what time it is.

"Masyadong malalim pa ang gabi ngayon kumpara noong mga nakaraang beses," I answer.

He sighs heavily as he sits up and wipes his face with his hands and pushes his hair back. "Naalala ko bigla..." he says, "Aalis na rin pala si Kuya."

Ever since that first nightmare, just as Goyo asked of me, I keep the incident between the two of us. After all, Julian had asked a favor out of me to help Goyo out such a nightmare, if ever. But then, Julian, being given the assignment that is to bring him back to Bulacan, far away from Goyo... I don't think it will do him good. I know that, since the start, Julian had been Goyo's anchor. Not to mention that it isn't only Julian who is leaving, the rest of the seven musketeers as well. Rather, the seven musketeers had already left a few days ago already, assigned as well by President Aguinaldo, aside for Isidro. That's why, all who are left with us had been Enteng and his younger brother Jose, Goyo and Julian's cousin Juan, and Isidro. And the moment that Julian leaves tomorrow, it will just be the few of us.

On the day that the rest of the seven musketeers had left, with only him to continue accompanying Goyo, Isidro told me, "Sa huli't huli, ako lang din pala ang pahihintulutan ng tadhana na makipaglaban kasama ng unang nagudyok sa amin sa digmaan para sa bayan."

I felt the dread on his words. The worry. The confusion. The fear. The anxiety. His words gave me some closure that this is just the beginning of the end.

"Bigyan natin ng despedida si Kuya," he tells me as he immediately moves out of the bed to wake his brother and Enteng before I can even stop him.

All the reason that we find ourselves walking, groggily, with Julian still sleepy, on the way to a river that Goyo had mentioned. It is a long walk to reach it, being it one of the boundaries of Dagupan with its neighboring town of Lingayen. It's only the four of us since Juan, Jose and Isidro are assigned in the patrol for tonight.

"Kakaiba din makaisip ng despedida itong si Goyong," Julian remarks after a yawn.

"Tahimik," Goyo alerts everyone, halting us. A few seconds later, he pulls us out of the main path and to hide in a nearby bush as two soldiers on patrol passed by our hiding place.

"Bakit ba tayo nagtatago eh mga sundalo din natin iyan?" The older del Pilar asks in a whisper.

"Tahimik sabi," retorts the younger.

When the soldiers are a few yards away, we finally move out of the hiding spot and continue our walk. It didn't take another three minutes for us to reach our destination. The sound of the current feels like music to my ears, soothing.

"'Lika na! Para noong mga bata pa tayo," Goyo remarks with glee as he starts stripping his clothes without even any indication that he remembers I am with them, forcing me then to turn my back.

"Hindi natin ito ginawa ng hating-gabi," Julian comments back.

"Dali na!" I hear the first splash of water as Goyo laughs and says, "Ano? Tara na! Mahuli walang bayag!"

I close my eyes, wielding myself not to look.

"Mauna tarantado!" counters Julian, following after.

Enteng chuckles a little before slowly trailing the water. "Putangina!" He curses loudly. "Ang ginaw!"

I take a quick peek, seeing the three of them, on their breeches, heading to where the water is deeper. I sigh heavily, looking on to their discarded clothes. I smile a little and shake my head. If I don't know Goyo's suffering with his nightmares, I'll be saying that he is really turning insane with wanting to plunge in cold water with his brother and second-in-command. Whatever makes him have this idea is surely because his nightmare is much worse this time, and he needs to do something to get rid of it.

"(Y/N)! Baka magkakulitiw ka diyan, ha! Nakahubad kami dito," Julian calls for me, laughing, the moment that they are submerged in the waters.

I suppress myself from smiling much more, keeping my shawl close to my body. "'Wag kayong mag-alala! Wala akong nakita!" I also don't have any intention to join them because I'll surely be freezing to death; and the only reason that I've come along with them is I want to ensure that even with Julian and Enteng's presence to watch over Goyo, the latter will not be doing anything stupid.

It surely had been some time already when sleep is slowly catching up with me, and the three had been enjoying themselves. What stops me from drifting off to sleep is the sound of two gunshots. Adrenaline within me perks right away, me standing from where I am almost falling back to slumber, and raise my hands at the two soldiers who've seen us. I immediately defend ourselves, "Huwag. Huwag! Hindi niyo kami kaaway!"

The two slowly draw closer to us, raising their lamps a little to give a better view than to depend alone with the light of the moon.

"Hoy! Mga tanga!" Enteng shouts as he and Julian move out of the river, furious as they meet the soldiers.

"Pasensya na po. Akala namin mga espiyang Kastila," the one holding a gun remarks in apology, lowering his gun as he does so.

"Sa balat naming ito?" Julian inquires. "Mukha ba kaming—Juan?"

The soldier removes his hat, and, indeed, I see the face of Juan del Pilar. "Pinsan?"

Julian smacks Juan's head and through gritted teeth, states, "Tangina mo. Muntikan mo na kami mapatay."

Holding his head, Juan apologizes another time, "Pasensya na, Kuya Julian.

"Si Vicente ito oh." Julian points at Enteng, and then to the direction of the river. "At tsaka si Goyong."

But there's no reply from Goyo. After all, Goyo is nowhere, causing the rest of us turn to the where we last see him. Yet, the river shows no sign of him. The current still moving downstream as if the three of them had never dipped themselves to swim.

"Goyong?" Julian immediately inquires, filled with dread as he moves back to the water.

The others follow after him, and even if I want to do so, my fear get a hold of me faster that something happened to him.

"Goyong!" Julian sharply turns to Juan. "Kapag tinamaan ang kapatid ko..." He calls out another time, "Goyong!"

A second later, Goyo emerges from the water.

"Ayun!" Enteng remarks, pointing and heading to where Goyo is to help the latter back to shore. He chuckles. "'Lika, 'lika."

Julian grimaces and helps Enteng. "Akala ko nalunod ka na."

The moment that they make it back to the rocky shore, Goyo stays on his knees as he coughs away the water that he had drank for being underwater for a long time. He mumbles something that is inaudible to us, but one that Enteng instantly understands.

Enteng laughs a little and states, "Buhay na buhay ka, Goyo!"

But Goyo repeats whatever words he had said. The stress on him audible, as if he is also to cry. He repeats, much louder this time, "Mamamatay ako!"

I freeze. I suddenly remember the end of the history book that tackles his life, the one that I've seen Gregory possessed. When I asked him if that's the end, he didn't answer me. When I asked Isidro if I'll need to leave after the game, I don't even know what is the end, in the first place. Is it all leading to that moment? Or is it the nightmares that haunt Goyo? Him having visions of his own death?

All of us immediately turn serious as Julian crouches next to Goyo, placing a hand on his brother's back. "Hoy. Huminahon ka."

Goyo keeps his eyes to the rocks as he reaches out for Julian's arm to grasp on, mumbling, "Kuya..."

"Heneral Goyo! Heneral!" A newly arrived soldier calls and asks upon seeing us, "Nandito ba si Heneral Goyo?"

Enteng meets the soldier right away. "Ano iyon?"

"Pinatutungo ang Heneral sa Bayambang upang doon magtipon," answers the soldier, a little exasperated.

"Anong nangyari?" Dread is audible in Julian's voice.

What we all fear had finally come to happen. I don't need to hear the rest, but then, the soldier's words had marked a finality to it.

"Mga Amerikano," he replies. "Umabante sila sa iba't ibang dako. Hawak na nila ang Tarlac. Sumuko na rin ang San Fabian."

And just like that, after almost five months of peace, we're all back to war.

* * *

A/N: Ayan na!!! Sunod-sunod na angst na ang darating from hereon! Anyway, di rin ako magsasawang i-promote ang isa kong story na FLIGHT PLAN. Yas... Ever wonder how it is to be a pilot from the very beginning? Well, yun na! Hahahaha Loosely based in my real life experience (not all!). Balik lipad na yung iba sa amin, pero takot pa rin ako dahil sa Covid. At ang daming hinihingi na requirements, and no rush dahil kailangan muna makabawinng aviation industry, And also, follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates. ;)

#GoyoDeadReckoning || #GoyoAngBatangHeneralStories || #ProjectAguilaStories