n. frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—spending the first few weeks chatting in their psychological entryway, with each subsequent conversation like entering a different anteroom, each a little closer to the center of the house—wishing instead that you could start there and work your way out, exchanging your deepest secrets first, before easing into casualness, until you've built up enough mystery over the years to ask them where they're from, and what they do for a living.

* * *

To be honest, Vicente Enriquez stripped down his clothes, leaving himself on his shorts alone. Surprisingly, he has an inner shirt with him that he had also lended to me, in exchange of my blouse and saya. He also handed me his pants that is a little loose but will do as I keep a hold of it by the waist, and they've instructed me to tuck my hair underneath a straw hat.

It so happens that everyone plans to enter Paombong on plain sight. And that the very raiding as per Goyo's words will be conducted on Sunday. It was Friday when I've arrived, and someone told me that day's date, making me blushed a little and all again remember that the year that this happened was about a hundred years from the day I was truly born.

Anyway, I've entered Paombong in Enteng's clothes along with him and Goyo—Enteng wearing my clothes, while Goyo was just as casual him, except for his top uniform and the clothes he has had been converted to some stack of fabric as some sort of a deliveryman. No one spat an eye at us, and we headed straight to where everyone was told to gather.

I've been eagerly waiting for another women, so happens that I was the only one that had been pulled in whatever plan the men has. And when I've tried to ask Isidro about what was going on, he was immediately ordered by Goyo to do something else.

I hadn't seen a trace of him after that.

After all, the only ones who've stayed on this so-called safe house had been me and a selected other men that I don't know. Well, except for Goyo, who seems to keep his eyes focus on my actions as he orders me here and there as well, while still wearing this rather too large clothes that Vicente originally owns.

He considers me as the only person able to move in and out of the house without even being suspicious, because, according to him, "Walang kaagaw-agaw ng atensyon sa iyo, Pendejo. Pwera na lamang sa pagiging pendejo mo." And he laughs. As if it is a laughing matter.

Ito ba talaga ang silbi ko sa larong ito? Maging alila nitong loko na ito?

Oh! I mustn't forget that he is also the man behind this plan of raiding Paombong. The person that made me land in the clothes of a man I barely knew except for a story told by Isidro to me, who is also starting to be suspicious for me if he is really here to help me or send vague messages at me on how I am to finish and succeed in this game.

Saturday evening, I almost can't feel my entire arms and legs from the straight hours of running and heading to this place and the next as per Goyo's orders. I end up like some runner, which I had only seen from the movies as a boy's work during the medieval times. This is some like abuse, or is all of this part of the game's mechanism? Whatever.

I end up heading straight to the vacant bed due to my exhaustion. I didn't even eat something from the dinner that I even helped to make. The moment that my body feels the bed and my head onto the pillow, I almost wish to start drifting to sleep, when suddenly, the door opens without any notice, and Goyo walks in before closing it behind him. I eye him. "Alam mo na mali na pumasok sa kwarto ng babae ng walang pahintulot, ano? Kala ko pa naman ay napakagalang ng mga lalaki sa panahon na ito?"

Goyo leans by the door itself as he laughs, interested. He is holding something neatly folded, and I don't care to find out what it is. Especially whatever he has could mean trouble. He says with a slight shake of his head, "Alam mo, kung magpapaka-babae ka lang, madaming manliligaw sa iyo."

I frown. "FYI, babae ako. Kapal rin ng mukha mo. Kala mo ang gwapo mo. Hindi naman. Bakit ka ba nandito? Inaantok ako, gusto ko matulog. Hanggang ngayon ba na matutulog na ako, kukulitin mo pa rin ba ako? May ipapautos ka pa ba? Iutos mo sa iba, 'wag sa akin." I switch position, turning to my side to face the other side and have my back against him. "Goodnight!"

"Ang bastos nga naman talaga. Pendejo masyado." He chuckles as I hear his footsteps drawing closer.

I freeze a little, fearful of what he's about to do next.

"'Wag ka masyadong mangarap diyan. Hindi kita liligawan 'no? 'Di ka naman babae sa kilos mo, anong gagawin ko sa yo? At di ka rin maganda," he remarks. "Maaga bukas, ha? At suotin mo iyan. Para naman di ka mukhang tuod sa suot mo sa simbahan bukas." He places the thing that he had brought with him just by the edge of the bed. "Ikandado mo itong pintuan para wala nang iba pa ang pumasok kasi. Tapos magagalit ka na bigla-bigla akong papasok."

I wait for his footsteps to disappear. He stops for a second again by the door and says, "Magandang gabi, Pendejo." And then he leaves me all alone.

Only after a minute that I decide to turn around and pin my eyes onto the layers of folded fabric that he had placed there. Beforehand, I hurry to ensure that the door is locked and then draw closer to the fabric he had brought, surprised to find that they had been three different designs of blouses and skirts for me to choose from; all of them fitted to my size. For a moment there, I can't help not to smile, finding out that there's still a little bit of goodness in him. Even if I know that someone had bought these for me, he still had brought these. And that alone is enough to cling to the hope that I can finish my mission that involves him having to be guided towards the light of his life.

# # #

I was up and dressed early that when I made it downstairs, I find myself the only one awake. It takes a few minutes before I hear a rustle or some commotion going upstairs from the other rooms, and before I can even check on them, a group of boys—dressed in feminine clothing—clamor downstairs. I cover my mouth in an instant, stopping myself from chuckling at the sight, after all, familiar faces that I haven't seen since entering Paombong had been present.

Goyo's brother, Julian, had been ecstatic with the skirt he is wearing; he is surprisingly comfortable and a beauty of his own, matching his hair with a wild flower that almost made him the sun. Even that flirty and malicious man, Adeodato, was so in the game of this dress-up as he locks an arm with Felix De Jesus in the way girl friends does as they have their fans on each other's hands. I almost didn't recognize Isidro on his set-up; he remains neutral with this, smiling a little with a visible disappointeed frown. And there's Juan Socorro, Goyo and Julian's brother-in-law, who doesn't appear happy with this set-up and had been dragged to this one. And the good-nurtured Lesyo who've been visibly shy, along with a new face, Gabriel Baltazar, which had been the newest member of the Seven Musketeers of Pitpitan at the death of their former member.

Not to mention that if there's someone who's vocal with his hatred with this idea, Vicente visibly is the spokeperson since he'd been spatting his disagreement with this; as Goyo, the handsome he is, turned beautiful as a woman by his lady clothes, assuring him that this plan will work, and that if this works, Vicente should praise him for the success later on.

It hadn't been just them, but I can't help but be fixated at Goyo. After all, there's a greater essence at him that made him determined with this. He doesn't appear shy or nervous with this get-up; he's practically putting the sense of cosplay to the next level of confidence. I know that if this will be in the modern world, boys will be like Vicente, wishing to remove every mark of feminity in them; compared to Goyo who seems to go with the flow, if it will lead to the success of something he truly believes in.

Surprisingly, as everyone else starts to gather and hide their arms under their skirts and start giving orders, Goyo catches me looking at him. He then smiles confidently as he draws closer to me and he even flips his hand by his shoulder as if to brush away his invisible long hair. "Oh, ano? Isara mo nga iyang bibig mo. Ngangang-nganga ka naman. Nagandahan ka ano, sa akin? Mas mukha pa kasi akong babae kaysa sa iyo." He laughs, trying to sound like a woman. That's the part where he needs more practice; he still sounds like a man trying to reach his smallest pitched voice.

I pout a little and tell him, "Wala akong pake."

He just laughs at me and says, "Sasama ka sa akin." He turns to the other men—now dressed as women—and flips his hand fan open, smirking. "Alam niyo na ang gagawin, mga magagandang dilag."

# # #

I am shaking a little the moment that Goyo and the rest of the team move out of the rest house in different groups and different intervals. I've been edgy that I didn't realize who goes out first and who follows, or who comes before and after the moment that Goyo and I left, or who comes last. And the only one who takes note of it is none other than but Goyo himself.

He scolds as he keeps a shy smile on his face, a hand fan close to his face as he draws closer to me and whispers on his usual voice, "'Wag ka nga masyadong kabahan. Mas madali tayong mahuhuli kung ganyan ka. Mukha kang tuod."

"Tsk... Hindi mo ako masisisi. Ang delikado kaya nito. Alam mo iyon?"

He laughs a little, high-pitched to imitate a girl. "Ikaw talaga, (Y/N). Ang galing mo rin talaga magbiro."

And at that, I know that he is avoiding my question. And, I realize, that he's also afraid.

It doesn't take long that we've reached our desired position as he had mentioned. The Sunday Mass is yet to begin but the church is already crowded, surprising me that majority of them had been members of the revolutionary movement in disguise. After all, as I follow Goyo, we just transversed through the main entrance, through a haphazard maze of people, and to a corner that gives a good view of the church itself.

I turn to him. "Ano ba talaga ang dahilan kung bakit ako kasama dito? Hindi ko nga alam kung ano plano niyo."

"Manood ka lang."

"Iyon lang ang dahilan kung bakit mo ako sinama dito?"

He smirks. "Wala lang. Masaya lang."

"Ha?"

That's when I hear the sound of gunfire coming from the entrance. My first instinct had been to duck at the sound as the other commoners start to shout and scramble for their safety. I don't know where the gunfire is coming from, directed at the main entrance of the church as Spanish sentries, one by one, fall to their injuries or even to death. I notice Spanish soldiers about to position themselves by the windows, and before I can even tell Goyo as I turn to him, I realize that he already has his rifle with him, aimed at one of the soldiers about to be in station to the windows.

He begins shooting at them, causing me to recoil much more at the sound of gunfire, covering my ears with my hands in fear of its thundering sound.

But then, it didn't take long for the sound of gunfire to also stop and Goyo had been cocky as he smirks at me, saying,"Masasanay ka rin, Pendejo."

* * *

A/N: Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates. ;)

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