n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you'd be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.

* * *

"Ako nga pala si Isidro Wenceslao, isang sundalo. Maligayang pagdating sa Revolución Filipina ng Batang Heneral."

I stare at the young man right in front of me at this moment. A young man with handsome features despite the dirt and grease on his face. A gentle and carefree expression, and a visible stature that clearly defines him as indeed a soldier.

Revolución Filipina! May posibilidad ba na...

My eyes widen at the sinking realization. "'Wag... 'Wag mo sabihin na... talagang nasa loob ako ng game..."

"Tama. Ngayon ay nasa mundo ka na ng laro na ito. At ang unang yugto ng laro ay ang magkita tayo rito." His smile widens much more as he shakes his outstretched hand another time, informing me to take it since he had been reaching out at me for quite some time already.

I take his hand, thanking him when he helps me to stand up from my seat. And I am still dumb-struck right at this moment about all of this. It seems like for a few seconds right now, the whole place is not filled with the sound of gunfire or screams or whatsoever. As if, at this very moment, it had been just me and him on here. And this is all part of that video game. I mumble, "Anong kabaliwan ito?"

His eyes widen and he gasps loudly the moment that I grab for his arms, my hands balling into tight fists on his sleeves.

"Gusto kong umalis rito! Nasaan yung Esc button, ha? Hindi... panaginip lang ito. Hindi maaring totoo ito! Walang ganitong laro!" I scream at him, shaking him to make him realize how desperate I am to leave this place.

But Isidro calmly replies to me, "Pasensya na, binibini. Pero wala dito. Ang paraan para makalabas dito ay simple lamang. Iyon ay M-A-N-G-G-A. Kapag kumain ka ng mangga, doon ka lang maaring makalabas sa laro na ito."

I stop, pulling away from him as I stare up at him. My curiosity and me being dumb-struck with everything that is going on doubled. For one thing... I can't believe that he'll be serious to say that the way for me to leave this place will be...

Mangga?

"Naiintindihan mo ba?" He inquires, inclining his head to the side. He then turns away from me and looks at me over his shoulder, saying, "Ngayon, sasabihin ko na sa iyo ang iyong misyon."

I bite my lower lip. Tears are starting to prick the back of my eyes. I brush them away with the back of my hand, hating the notion that someone has to see me crying. But I can't help it. I don't have any intention to listen to him or even play this stupid game, now that I find myself right in the middle of a battle. I mumble, "Gusto ko lang bumalik sa mundo ko."

Isidro just looks at me. The smile he earlier has disappears. The sound of gunfire continues, but he doesn't seem to mind it at all; even though it is coming from just a few meters away from where we stand right now. Yet, at this point on, it appears like the start of a usual game where there's the briefing and everything before you are pushed right at the boiling pot of where the game actually begins. He then remarks, "Noong sinimulan mo yung laro na ito... binago mo na din ang iyong tadhana. Kapag pinili mo na hindi magpatuloy... naalala mo ba ang sinabing babala sa simula pa lamang? Masusumpa ka sa buhay mo."

I stop crying at that. Much more scared now at the prospect of what curse that will be. I look at him, waiting.

"Pero, kapag natapos mo ang laro na ito, magkakaroon ka ng walang hanggang kayamanan sa buhay mo. Natatanggi ang kailangan mong mapagtagumpayan sa laro na ito. Kailangan mong tulungan maging isang bayani ang tinuguriang Batang Heneral, pero ang pinakamahalagang tungkulin sa lahat ay ang siguraduhing 'di siya malilihis ng daan."

B-Batang Heneral... (Insert your chosen curse here), (Y/N)... 'Di ka kasi nag-aaral ng history.

"Ang unang misyon mo ay siguraduhin na ang anumang sugat na matatamo niya sa labanan ngayon ay iyong magagamot," Isidro continues.

I gape at him in surprise.

T-Teka lang! Di ko nga alam kung ano itsura nitong Batang Heneral na ito eh?! Tsaka... anong sugat iyon? Masisigurado ko ba na buhay siya?!

"P-Pero... wala akong alam tungkol sa panggagamot. Paano ko magagawa iyon?" I ask him.

He smiles charmingly and says as if that is the most common thing to do, "Kaya kailangan mo mag-ensayo. 'Wag ka mag-alala, sigurado naman na matututo ka din kaagad."

"Gaano katagal ba bago ko matapos ang laro na ito?" I ask in almost a whisper; at the same time that I've been thinking of myself at the time of a heroes' martrydom. The few heroes that I knew were Rizal who've died at about mid-thirty? And Bonifacio at about the same age as well, or much older? But for me to be here at the turning point, of course... it will mean that I'll be spending ten or twenty years here?

Bakit ko naiisip ang sarili ko twenty years from now at tuwang-tuwa na makakauwi na ako...

"Wala ka dapat ipag-alala," Isidro suddenly tells me. "Ang oras sa totoong mundo ay tumitigil habang ikaw ay naririto sa laro na ito. Kahit nandito ka ng isang taon o isang dekada man, hindi ka tatanda. Naiintindihan mo ba?"

I bite my lower lip and steel my resolve. I nod at him, saying, "Yup."

Ayaw kong ubusin ang buong panahon ko rito sa kabaliwan na ito. Kailangan ko lang matapos ang misyon ko ngayon. Sa tingin ko naman ay makakayanan kong maresolba ang paggagamot ng sugat. At pagnatapos ko na iyon, maghahanap ako ng mangga para makabalik na sa mundo ko.

He smirks at me, asking another time, "Handa ka na?"

I nod for another time.

# # #

Isidro Wenceslao leads me to where a group of women were. He had ushered me to where the medical camp is, and given that it is a medical camp and the place where women are supposed to be... it is no surprise that I'll be hearing the mix cries of pain from wounded soldiers, and the sobs of those who are close to death or had been grieving for their comrades who've died due to the battle. Anyhow, I almost cringe upon hearing the sound; hating the sound of agony among all things, closely related to the sound of gunfire and war ringing inside my ear.

Not to mention that I also hate the sight of blood. That's why, right at the beginning of me entering the medical camp, I stop. I stand there frozen, completely immobile with the sight that unravel right in front of me. There are more wounded soldiers than there are available beds and nurses to attend onto them. Each one has a succeeding degree of worsening conditions the more one will thread deeper in the camp. The only thing that made me step aside from the entrance is when a woman had ushered me out of the way just on time that two others had carried in a wounded man in need of an operation in a make-shift stretcher.

"(Y/N)!" Isidro calls out to me, returning to fetch me another time when he surely realized that I am no longer following him. "Halika rito at ipapakilala kita kay Soledad. Siya ang titingin sa iyo habang kinakailangan kong bumalik sa labanan." He closes his hand around my wrist in order to pull me with him, to ensure that I will not move anywhere or stay somewhere that I am not supposed to be. "Pero bago sa lahat, ipinagbigay alam ko na rin sa kanya na kakailanganin mo ng damit. Mahirap na at makakaakit ng maraming katanungan ang iyong kasuotan para sa iba. Tandaan mong mabuti na ako lamang ang nakakaalam ng totoo mong pagkatao rito."

I frown at him, deciding to focus onto him alone than to the going on turmoil around us. "Ano po ang sasabihin ko kapag may nagtanong sa akin?"

"Sabihin mo na galing ka sa isang malayong lugar. Kung paano ka magsalita ngayon, 'di na ako magugulat kung sanay ka sa wikang Tagalog kumpara sa iba pang dialekto. Maari mong sabihin kung taga-saan ka talaga. Pero ang iba pang detalye? Mas maiging itago mo sa iyo lamang ang iba pa," he explains. He then stops right at the farthest corner of the camp where an elderly woman is, attending to the supplies of medicines that had been stocked up there. She appears to be about the same age as my mother. "Soledad. Ito nga pala si (Y/N). Yung sinabi ko sa iyo kanina lamang. Mayroon ba siyang damit na pwedeng ipangpalit?"

Soledad is a woman to be on her mid-forties. Her hair starts to whiten, visible right now as she keeps her hair in a bun. She smiles warmly at me, causing the creases that defined her years to be prominent, especially those happy lines around her eyes and at the corner of her mouth. "Oo naman, Isidro. Napakaganda mo namang dilag, (Y/N). Teka, magpalit ka muna sa kasuotang ito." She reaches out for a bundle of the simple terno clothes that had been there next to her and hands it to me with both of her hands, pressing against the fabric to assure me of that much. "Pagkatapos ay manatili ka sa aking tabi kung saan pinakaligtas."

I turn to Isidro, questioning him. After all, he is right to say that he is the only one who knows me fully at this world. And if there is a ticket out of this world, which so happens to be a mango, it will only be through his help since he is programmed to actually act as some sort of 'mentor' for this character I am playing now. Which is weird, since I need to remind myself with every action I do that this is all a pre-formatted game.

"Tama si Soledad, (Y/N). Dito ang pinakaligtas na lugar. Huwag ka mag-alala, babalikan kita pagkatapos ng labanan na ito." He leans closer to my ear for a second. "Alalahanin mo ang paalala ko sa iyo. Ito ay parte ng una mong misyon rito para makabalik ka sa mundo mo."

With that alone, Isidro tips his hat at me and Soledad before rushing out of the medical camp without even a glance. In the end, Soledad turns to me another time with a small smile and I understand that it is my own need to change onto the clothes she had handed to me. And whatever plan I have of escaping out of here is thrown out of the window, since my only exit out so happens to be nowhere on this place. With that, I resign to the fate that I'll be needing to stick onto how the game is formatted and find my key—a mango, of all things—out of here.

And the very moment that I return, I will ensure to return this disk back and never dare play this one again.

# # #

True to it that Soledad insured that I'll remain by her side. She pinned a watchful eye on me and asked me questions about where I came from. I tried to give as little description as possible in order not to blow much of my cover. Good thing that my vague answers were enough to assure her soul. As a given, she gave me a background of what's going on here and there, and connecting the dots, she indeed warranted my idea that this could be about the same time as the Philippine Revolution against the Spanish soldiers.

New wounded soldiers were delivered in the medical camp as well. Just as more volunteer women of the Krus Roja went out to send as immediate first aids, if possible. The cries pierced through the place; an equivalent to the sound of gunfires and cannons outside that gave the possibility of how cruel war was.

For someone like me who've lived in the future where wars are so far away from where I am living... it is completely a question to me how come people could tolerate such acts. As if my beliefs of trying to solve all of this through some open discourse in a round table is a silly joke; when two sides contradict one another.

"Kamusta ang ating mga sundalo?"

The voice of a young man amidst the crowd of women treating the wounded soldiers ring out loud and clear. There's still the going on gunfire outside, but his voice remains steady and calm that make me turn to him. And despite how dirty he now appears with blood trickling on his forehead from a graze of a bullet, he appears otherwise filled with esteemed energy to at least do inquire how everyone is doing. Standing next to him is a much taller man who is just equally stained in dirt, carrying their own rifles with him. Not to mention that Isidro was also next to them and a few others, the previous searching the gathered soldiers.

His voice in command right now had stirred the spirits of everyone. They were asking through whispers about what happened and what was going on and what would be the next move. All of this was turned down when he said, "Siguraduhin niyo na makakatakas ang ating mga sugatan. Siguraduhin niyo rin na makakatakas ang lahat ng naririto. Walang maiiwan."

I frown. My eyes meet that of Isidro and I shiver. I am practically screaming the question with just a look.

Anong nangyayari?

Everyone seems to realize the urgency that they immediately move as fast as they could. Able soldiers hurried to help their comrades, as well as the volunteers help the wounded up. They gather everything fast, just as I decide on to help Soledad as well in whatever way I can do so. In less than an hour, the rest of us had vacated the place and I stay next to Soledad just as I was asked to. My eyes would remain shifting to that young man with a bloody forehead, and then I would search for Isidro's presence who was rather busy with whatever rank he held at the moment.

On our way of trailing wherever that respective young man was heading on, ensuring that everyone he had gathered were following him, Soledad closes her hand around my wrist and tells me in a whisper, "Pagkarating natin kung saan man, pakisigurado na maayos lang ang lagay ni iho."

"Po?" I ask her, unsure of who she is implying at.

She smiles sheepishly, ushering a chin at the direction of the young man with the bloody forehead right at the front of the line. Before she could answer though, Isidro moves right next to me, asking me, "Ayos ka lang ba, (Y/N)? Pasensya na at kailangan natin umalis kaagad."

I bite my lower lip and nod at him. "Ayos lang naman ako. Pero ano na ba ang nangyayari?"

He turns to where Soledad is, looking wistful. Soledad seems to realize what it means that she steps away after securing that she had handed a set of new and clean bandages for me to use to whoever she is implying earlier on. Isidro then continues, "Sabihin ko sa iyo pagkarating natin sa Manatal. Ngunit, una sa lahat, pagkarating natin doon..." He points at the bandages I have with me right now. "Tunay ngang dito na magsisimula ang una mong misyon, (Y/N). Panahon na para makilala mo ang iyong misyon." He then trails his pointer finger from the bandages I have then to where the young man with the bloody forehead is at the head of the group, walking ahead with the same tall man from earlier just next to him.

I can swear that Isidro's words made me wish that this is all just a dream. But Isidro sounds so sure when he tells me, "Si Gregorio del Pilar."

* * *

A/N: Follow me on twitter @23meraki for more updates. ;)

#GoyoDeadReckoning || #GoyoAngBatangHeneralStories || #ProjectAguilaStories