{7} Too Near
The day did not start out in a particularly extraordinary way. It did not seem like the sort of day when years of an experience would suddenly be changed around. Yet when Elliot spotted Rosa coming towards them, they knew something was different. Perhaps it was the slight frown upon her lips which seemed more sad than sour, or the way she continuously plucked at her sleeve.
"Elly, I...I require a conversation with you. Not just any conversation, but one that I think is rather...rather overdue. I think you'll agree. Oh, dear, this is no easy matter to speak about!" Rosa exclaimed. She overwhelmed herself just by standing there and attempting to bring it up, something which ended up being quite an issue when it came to Elliot.
"What do you need to talk about so badly?" Elliot asked.
"Well, I...oh, dear, how am I supposed to say such a thing?"
"Maybe you could pull out a dictionary of yours and look up something in there," Elliot suggested.
Rosa shook her head and said, "I...I don't believe such words that I require exist within the dictionary, at least not in the correct sequence. You must understand that I do not...I do not mean to say that I do not adore you, nor do I want to offend you in any way."
"And why would you offend me?"
"I...I believe it is time to end our relationship," Rosa finally said, not letting herself continue to speak. "We have been going out with one another for four years now, but I know we have not felt even the slightest bit of romantic attraction to one another. It cannot go on for any longer, I..."
"What is it, Rosa?"
"I do not know, it is just rather...rather overwhelming to finally allow myself to speak freely about this matter. I never believed I would be able to say such thoughts, or even gather them together into something coherent. But now I must know what you feel about this situation, about what I am saying..."
"Well, actually, I..." Elliot began. But as they shuffled around for a moment, they realized ther was no reason for such a matter to continue. If Rosa didn't feel even the slightest bit of romantic attraction, then there was no point.
"Well, actually, you what?" Rosa asked. She seemed genuinely concerned despite the teasing tone in her voice - she wanted to know what was going on Elliot's mind. The problem was that Elliot themself didn't know what they wanted to say, nor what was going through their mind.
"Don't worry about it, Rosa," Elliot replied. "Anyways...what were you saying about...about this?"
"It seems as if I should've said these things far sooner but I didn't know how. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me until my eyes were opened."
"Huh," Elliot said. They didn't know how they were to respond to such a thing. Rosa also seemed as if she wanted to keep pushing her part of the story forward.
"I do not know if my gaze was blurred by the fact I was a young child who only wished to follow the pathways to adulthood and therefore clung to you in hopes I would grow romantic feelings for you, but now that we have grown up significantly I can see it was not a wise thing to do."
"Well, I mean, we're not that grown up yet, we're only in junior year of high school."
"No, Elly. We have grown up significantly. Things have changed. I noticed you ceased to call me Peaches in recent days," Rosa said. "You've referred to me as Peaches since we quite young - I cannot recall when, but I know it was when we only had a single digit for our ages. Why did you stop?"
"Well, I mean, it's like you said - we're growing up," Elliot replied. "I thought it would be strange to continue calling you Peaches now that we're going older. We're too old for all that."
"Then we're too old to pretend we are both happy with this relationship we seem to be locked in for life. If we do not wish to continue with it, then we shall not. We shall cease it before it goes on to do harm to either of us as we move on."
"Wait...Rosa, what do you mean?" Elliot knew they should've seen this coming, but they were still having difficulty processing it as she continued to move on with her personal thoughts.
"I feel as if we should no longer act as if we are two teenage lovebirds. We should label ourselves as what we are - we are like siblings. We fight with one another all too often, and yet we still remain good friends. We are siblings from this day forward, if you agree to such a matter..."
"Yes, of course!" Elliot exclaimed, speaking a bit too quickly. They wanted to understand where Rosa was coming from, and they barely thought about what they were saying. "I just...I just don't understand why you decided to bring it up now of all times. What has changed to make you think about that?"
"Oh, you know..." Rosa said, shaking her head and refusing to meet Elliot's gaze. "Things are changing about Cloisterham Academy, slowly but surely. I've talked to...my friends. I've seen that there is little to get out of this relationship. If neither of us are happy with it, as we are not, then it will do far more harm than good."
There was a moment of silence which both Rosa and Elliot used to gather their thoughts up again. It was strange to be speaking so candidly to one another. Usually when they talked it ended up being something superficial. Something unnecessary. Something unimportant. But now they spoke about their relationship and their past years together.
"God, my uncle is going to be disappointed!" Elliot exclaimed.
"Disappointed?" Rosa echoed, her eyes expanding to the size of saucers. "Why on earth would Mr. Jasper be disappointed over the official end of our relationship?"
"Don't ask me - he always seems to be interested in what's going on with our relationship. He's always checking up on it."
"Always checking up on it."
"Yeah, I have no clue why he would do such a thing. Maybe it's just that he wants to know what's going with his favorite nibling and his favorite student," Elliot replied, shrugging their shoulders up.
"I...I think that perhaps we should not inform him of our decision quite yet, then," Rosa replied. "Not so near to Christmas, at least! It...it would be quite a shame to ruin the holiday season with an announcement of our relationship breaking apart."
"I thought we were going to be siblings from now on," Elliot said. "I don't see why we can't tell him that."
"I just believe it is an announcement that should wait. For both of our sakes. It will be more beneficial to practice patience and gradually uncover what our decision is. It will be quite a shock to most, no? Dating for four years and then suddenly breaking up to become siblings! Few will understand why we have decided upon such a thing."
"I guess that makes sense," Elliot agreed. "So it sounds like we aren't letting anyone know for a while. Okay. I can do that."
"The holidays are coming up faster than you or I could imagine - I would hate to spoil everyone's holiday season by telling them that Cloisterham's couple of the year was breaking apart."
"Well, we're not really breaking apart, are we?" Elliot said. "We're going to be siblings to one another for now on. So we're still going to be togehter, just...just in a different way, yeah?"
"Precisely."
Rosa leaned over and pressed a kiss against Elliot's cheek, coming back to reveal the enormous grin upon her face.
"I suppose we will make this work," she said. "It will come as more of a shock to the general masses than those who are close to us, I think. But we will make it work, yes?"
"We will," Elliot agreed.
"Oh, Elly. My dear sibling forever more. Now neither of us will be as lonely as we have been in the past!"
"Lonely?" Elliot echoed after her, but she was already moving on to her next thought.
"How strange this relationship of ours has been for the past several years!" Rosa exclaimed. "We both have experienced such strange matters throughout it all...we should have always known this was how it was meant to be."
"Yeah, we had some...interesting times."
"Indeed, we did."
"You always tried to push to be romantic - tried to hold my hand, that sort of thing."
"And it was always a spectacular failure," Rosa agreed. "Neither of us had the faintest idea what we were doing, as neither of us had even a vestige of romantic attraction to the other. Oh, Elly. We have always been siblings at heart, I believe. We just have not been aware of it."
"I guess so," Elliot agreed. "I guess we've just always been too close to one another, too near...like, I knew you when we were both toddlers. That's when we first were together. We grew up together as the pair who became orphans at the same time. We've always kind of been like siblings in that way."
"Yes, yes, that is precisely my thought process about this matter!" Rosa exclaimed.
"We're on the same page, then."
"We are, yes, but I do wonder what the population of Cloisterham will do upon hearing such an announcement," Rosa said. "It seems we have been a focal point for the past four years, and now we will be ridding the world of our relationship. Well, our romantic relationship, the one which has acted as a facade this entire time."
"I'm sure everyone will find something else to be obsessed with," Elliot said, giving a slight laugh. "For a place where a whole lot of nothing goes on, there is always something at Cloisterham for people to latch on to."
"People claim it's the dullest place on earth but from time to time we can find fascinating things. I'm sure they'll chose a new couple of the year fawn over as well," Rosa said, letting out a content sigh.
"Do you think you're going to try to find someone to have an actual romantic relationship with, Rosa?" Elliot hesitantly asked.
"Oh, dear. Quite a question, I think," Rosa said, looking down. "Do you?"
"I don't know. I can't think of anyone who I could possibly even start such a thing with. But, I mean, half of the school is in love with you. At least it seems that way sometimes. You could pick someone out of the hallway and they would do whatever you wanted."
"It is not so simple, Elly," Rosa replied. "And...and just because there is a pool of suitors doesn't mean I will end up finding one to suit me, no?"
"Suitors to suit you," Elliot echoed.
"We shall have to wait and see what happens," she replied. Rosa then rest her head upon Elliot's shoulder.
"I prefer this," she murmured. "I prefer moving past the horrors of attempting to pretend we are something that we cannot be. Perhaps if we had been perfect strangers upon coming to Cloisterham, or even Evergreen Academy, we might have loved each other in the way we feigned. But now we shall never know, and we shall be siblings henceforth."
"I think it will better," Elliot agreed.
"It shall not be very different from what we do now," Rosa said. "Now, however, we may stop the lies."
- - - - -
"My brother wants to talk to you," Helena said, looking over towards her roommate.
"Oh, he is rather shy, is he not?" Rosa asked. "He seems to have somewhat of a dilemma when it comes to approaching and conversing with me. But I cannot say I am displeased by the idea that he wishes to speak with me, not at all! If anything, it seems rather marvelous to think I have gained such wonderful new friends to speak with."
"I don't know if shy is the word I would use, but otherwise yes," Helena said.
"Then send him over to our room!" Rosa exclaimed. "I do not have any particular reason that I would be unable to speak with him at the current moment - we might as well speak now, no?"
"Is that allowed?"
"Do not fret over it, Helena," Rosa exclaimed. "Just tell Neville that he should come visit our room and I will gladly converse with him."
"I'll tell him just that," Helena said, pulling her phone out with a hint of a smile playing at her lips. She found Rosa quite amusing, especially when it came to these sorts of matters. She could certainly see why her brother took such a profound interest in the girl.
Needless to say, upon receiving a text saying that Rosa wanted to talk to him Neville went to the dorm room as soon as he could. He appeared at the door a few minutes after the text was sent with the same question on his lips that Helena had already asked.
"Are you sure I'm allowed to be here, Rosa?"
"Well, you see...the general rule is that girls are not allowed in the rooms of boys, or vice versa, but of course that fails to take into mind that there are those who do not fit into such a strict gender binary or perhaps are not so interested in those they are visiting. They do not think of people like me, as I am pansexual..."
Rosa paused, looking out toward the Lanka twins as if waiting for them to have some sort of reaction or response. But they said nothing and did not seem particularly fazed, and this appeared to please her.
"The two of you already know what pansexual means. I'm pleased - normally that particular confession is met with nothing more than confused countenances and I am forced to explain not only what pansexual means but a large amount of information of how the gender binary is false...but not for the Lanka twins."
"Yes, we know a lot of that sort of thing already," Helena said. "The Internet might be a cruel place, but at least you can learn things there."
Neville simply nodded. He enjoyed knowing anything more about Rosa simply because he found her fascinating in a multitude of ways. As the conversation should have moved forward, everything fell stagnant and silent because of Neville's awkwardness around Rosa.
Helena was the one who intiated this particular conversation in order to aid her brother, and now she realized she would have to allow it to continue. She knew how much Neville wanted to look within Rosa's eyes, but if neither one of them knew what to say to one another then anything they had would fall on its face.
"Cloisterham is buzzing with rumors about the two of us, Neville and I," she said.
"Oh, dear," Rosa sighed. "Buzzing, indeed! You'll find that Cloisterham is quite the hivemind, as if every student decided they were to be a bee, all working themselves with the same thoughts at the same moment. It is certain that they will latch themselves on to anything they find remotely interesting, and these stories will continue to diffuse until every last person in Cloisterham is aware of it."
"You really think that everyone knows about all these rumors already?" Neville asked, his face falling into a grimace.
"Unfortunately so, I must say," Rosa said. "I do my best to avoid hearing rumors to begin with, but I am one of the select few who choses that particular path. And I will always get a rumor murmured within my ear sooner rather than later, it seems. But I would hate to listen to rumors about people I know, especially people like you..."
"It's...it's definitely not fun," Neville said. "I...well, I've heard some crappy stuff about me and my sister already. Mostly me, really, but...I mean, that's to be expected."
"How dreadful! I wish people weren't so focused on rumors!" Rosa exclaimed. "Rumors, rumors, rumors. They speak as if it is the only matter which they can know anything on. But so much of it is lies - and I should know!"
"You've had rumors spread about you?"
"Well, of course - an orphaned girl dating the person who was orphaned at the same moment is certain to catch a few rumors, at least. Perhaps I have become fascinating unknowingly - ah, well. At least few of those rumors have been detrimental to my name and image, whereas you and Neville...not so much."
"You're right," Neville said. "I mean, not that people should be spreading any sorts of rumors about you to begin with, but...I mean...it would be pretty difficult to break down your good image. I don't see how to do it, really..."
"And hopefully we will never have to find out," Helena added in. "I have confidence that we can build up our own good image, Neville. It will take some time, and some getting rid of rumors, but it's possible."
"Exactly," Neville agreed. "I just hope it won't take too long. Now...I know we're talking about rumors, but I want to talk about someone who I don't really know much about."
"Oh?" Rosa said, perking up at this more positive change in subject.
"Yeah, I was wondering about Jasmine. She sits next to you in chorus and you talk to her sometimes...Jasmine is her name, right?"
"Yes, Jasmine. But Jasmine...?" Rosa asked, tilting her head. "Whatever is it that you desire to know about her?"
"I don't know, I was just wondering about her in general," Neville replied. "You sit next to her in chorus class and the two of you talk sometimes, and I was wondering what she's like."
"I adore Jasmine," Rosa said. "I do not think I display such adoration very profoundly, however - I believe she is perhaps one of the most intelligent people at Cloisterham. It is a shame that so few people bother to listen to what she has to say...I wouldn't mark her down as shy, though. Perhaps reserved is the better word for it."
"Hm," Neville replied. "I'll have to find out more about her."
"I think you will," Rosa said, giving a slight nod of her head. Once again, the room faded into near silence.
"Well, I guess I better get going now..." Neville said, all too aware of how awkward the situation was. "I only had time for a short conversation anyway...I need to get some homework done. You know how it is."
"I know all too well, Neville," Rosa replied, simpering at the same time. "I suppose Helena and I are destined for the same fate. I admit that I do not wish to have you leave us, but I will not keep you any longer. Farewell, Neville."
"Fare...er, goodbye, Rosa," Neville said. "And goodbye to you too, Helena."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Neville," Helena said, letting out a small snicker at how Neville had almost said farewell in response to Rosa. With that, she watched her twin brother nearly bolt for the door out of his sheer embarassment.
"Oh, he is endearing, isn't he?" Rosa exclaimed as soon as the sound of Neville's footsteps faded away.
"I wouldn't know. He's my brother. I've been with him my whole life, I can't find anything he does really 'endearing,'" Helena responded.
"Never mind it, then. I have something of vital importance to tell you, anyways.I didn't wish to say such things before Neville, but I wish to tell you. It is not that I do not find Neville trustworthy, it is just that I feel as if...ah, never mind it."
"What do you have to tell me, Rosa?"
"I broke up with Elly today," Rosa exclaimed. "I...I decide it was time for this relationship of ours to come to a close. No, not a close. A change. We have decided to become something more akin to siblings, you see? Siblings now, siblings as we have been like for so many years...I do not know why I waited."
Helena couldn't help but smile - she'd been rather confused over why Rosa had persisted with her relationship for four years when it did not make her happy. It seemed like something she just claimed to be a part of her life, somethign she claimed to love though she did not.
"Though it makes me feel so liberated, I must say...I must urge you not to speak a word of this to another soul until Elly and I announce the news ourselves. You see, we...we are keeping it rather quiet. We want to avoid letting anyone down, causing too many rumors about the school..."
"I thought you said you didn't care that much about rumors, Rosa," Helena said. "I'm sure people won't be too cruel about trying to figure out your reasons, especially if you make them clear."
"Well, yes, yes...I mean, it's not as if Tartar is here any more to spark up any rumors, but..." Rosa said, her voice fading off before she explained anything further about this Tartar. "But it's more than just rumors I'm worried about. Oh, Helena. Helena, if I am not with Elliot then I am free to the world. I'm free for anyone who desires it to pursue me."
"I see," Helena said. "I'm sure you thought about this a lot before making the decision to break up with Elliot."
"Of course I did," Rosa replied. "Endless amounts of thought went into this particular decision of mine - I had to think about a variety of factors. Not just my own personal desires - no, I also had to think about Elly and what the public reaction would be like. But, of course, there won't be a public reaction for quite a while."
Helena tilted her head as she looked over towards Rosa as if the slight shift in perspective might be enough to show her what was going on within the girl's head. She had turned something which should not be too complicated into a complex twist of people and thoughts - and to think it was all just about breaking up with her enbyfriend of four years!
"Perhaps the most difficult part of these upcoming days is to act as if Elly and I have not decided to become as siblings. We both know we have moved onward and yet we will have to act as if nothing has changed. I do not believe it shall be much of a problem, but...we shall see."
"People will notice that the two of you have changed the way you act around one another," Helena noted. "It's not going to be completely ignored."
"Then I suppose Elly and I will have to become brilliant actors in these upcoming weeks, don't you think?"
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