Mr. Jasper had wanted to leave Cloisterham Academy since the day he arrived, but he had managed to hold on for nearly three years. But now the day arrived when he was forced to leave, and he did not feel glee over it. Now that he was forced to leave, he wanted nothing more than to stay.

But now there was nothing more he could do.

He gathered up every paper and book that piled up in his office over the years, cleared off his desk, removed his presence from every inch of the room. He had been told to leave quickly and quietly - there was bound to be a storm of fury as people began to speak of his affections for Rosa.

As if his thoughts had summoned her, Rosa appeared before Mr. Jasper's eyes as he looked up from gathering everything from his office.

"Rosa, what are you doing here?" Mr. Jasper asked, ceasing the rustling of his papers to direct all his attention to her.

"I...I don't quite know myself, I must admit," Rosa said. "I would ask you what you're doing, but it is obvious. I aplogize if I am intruding, perhaps I should leave you to-"

"Don't leave," he burst out.

Rosa heaved out a breath that made it very apparent she wished she could just leave. She had hoped that he would turn her aisde and she would not have to dwell on him any longer.

"I am sorry to hear that you must leave, especially on such short notice. There are certainly reasons why, I understand, but one would think you would at least be allowed to complete the quarter...or something...I mean...I am permitted to stay, despite what I...what I did."

Mr. Jasper let out a dry chuckle. Then he said, "They refuse to let a teacher who admitted to the murder of his nibling stay. Even though it was just a vision, not a real memory, why would they allow someone intoxicated on opium to stay? And, of course, confessing to love a student doesn't make anything any better."

"That does make sense," Rosa agreed, not sure what else she could say.

The stagnant air between them convinced Mr. Jasper to find a way to spark the conversation further. He didn't want her to leave. Rosa came willingly, and therefore he had to make the conversation enough to keep there. This could easily be one of the final few times he set eyes upon her, let alone have a conversation.

"You saved me up there," Mr. Jasper admitted. "I...I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't come up. I know you incriminated yourself but...still. I mean, I'm leaving anyway, but...thank you, Rosa."

"I was only attempting to adhere to the truth, which I did. I knew the truth of the matter and I knew that you did not have such guilt in the circumstances...I mean...you're welcome," Rosa said, catching the fact that she was rambling on about something he did not care about.

Unless, of course, he did care about it. He was in love with her. And he looked at her as if every word she said was worth adoration, to be scrawled down on a scrap piece of paper and then set to music, made into a song that matched her lilting voice.

Had he always looked at her like that? She hadn't noticed, she'd been too frightened to notice...so frightened she'd almost tried to kill him and ended up killing Elly in his place.

A wave of guilt washed over her. Even though her fear was justified, she hadn't taken a moment to think about where it was stemming from, why he ever looked at her in such a manner to begin with. She was convinced it was lust, and even though that was certain an aspect of it she didn't want to believe any other emotion was there. How much destruction she caused. How much pain.

But she refused to dwell on such matters any longer. She had things to say to him before he left, and they would be said.

"I felt as if I could not keep it inside any longer. I fear I know all too well what would've occurred if I had not said anything. I knew you were not guilty. I knew you couldn't suffer the consequences for something you didn't do, something I did."

"But you could've just thrown it off on me." he asked. "I thought you hated me for a time there. I thought you would've loved to see me charged as guilty for the crime. You certainly weren't happy with me when you came to talk to me before it happened."

"I did hate you," Rosa said. "But I could see...I knew there was something amiss about the situation as I spoke to you. I know your life is more complicated than one would suspect. I don't mean to pry, but...your forgetfulness is more than just, well, forgetfulness. It's known as dissociative amnesia."

"Is that what it's called, then?" he asked, sincere in his interest for what she had to say. "I suppose I should've found out about it when I first recognized it, but..."

"No reason to say but. I understand. Or, I do not understand as I have never experienced such a thing, but..."

"No, no, I know what you're trying to say. It's rather difficult to tell if one is missing memory. If you've forgotten something, how can you know you've forgotten it?"

"I know it's present in flashes, in brief moments...enough to make me upset, but not enough to let me know what actually happened. And then everything else is just a gap. You can look back and realize that there is something wrong."

"You should...you should probably find a way to get that examined and potentially solved," Rosa suggested.

"I should, yes."

"Well...oh. I...er...why are you telling me all this?" Rosa asked, her fingers tangling within her skirt's hem. "There are so many other people who could use this to improve things, and yet..."

"I know that you're the only person who's going to be willing to listen after everything I confessed. Especially because half of what I confessed was false, now. You're the only one who even begins to understand."

"There is little more to be done now, indeed, but at least you know that your words haven't gone to waste."

"No, Rosa. They've gone to you."

Rosa gave a nod but was otherwise silent.

"You said you did hate me," Jon said, seeking a way to break the silent.

"What?"

"You just said, a minute ago, that you did hate me. Do you hate me, right now?"

"My opinion towards you is...well, it is complex enough that no amount of dwelling upon it will ever be enough for me to understand precisely what I do feel towards you...or at least that it how it seems now. But I suppose, in simplest terms, no."

"You don't hate me."

"I don't," Rosa said, heaving her shoulders up into a shrug. "I do not hate you. After all that has occurred, I cannot hate you just as I cannot hate...I cannot hate myself."

"I should tell you. They're going to keep this a secret," he said. "All of it. Since no one is quite sure what's true, and no one wants you to face the consequences..."

"What?" Rosa exclaimed. "They cannot do such a thing, not even for me, it is not legal, it is not just-"

"Cloisterham is going to live on in whatever way it can, and at the moment this is what needs to be done. As long as I'm out of the way, this can be worked out. I'm the only one who would know where Elliot is...and I don't know. If we work to keep the confessions within the school, then no one else will find out."

"But the world should know all that has happened here, even if..." Rosa's voice faded away as she began to realize the greater effects this might have. "I will have to face the consequences, and..."

"And so will I."

"I do not mean for this to harm you. What you have done is something that cannot be forgiven easily, but you should not suffer the consequences of a crime you did not commit. It is not just. I do not want to see you suffer. I just...I just wish to see Elliot's image taken as something to be respected and remembered, have people understand how important Elly is. Was. Very little of that has to do with you, of course."

For a moment, Mr. Jasper didn't give a response. He just stared over at Rosa, tilting his head slightly. She struggled to stand her ground and continue to keep her eyes locked with his, but she did. Rosa would not let herself fall.

"You are a brilliant woman, Rosa," he said.

His stare still managed to make Rosa's adrenaline start to pump despite everything. She knew he didn't intend to show any malevolence to her, not now. She knew he was in love with her, not just in lust. But his eyes still brought a pang to her heart. That might never fade, she realized. It had killed Elly. Now it might kill her.

"Will I ever see you again, once all this is through?"

"Well, I...I don't know," Rosa admitted. "I think that's more of a question for you. I do not know what shall become of you now that you are leaving Cloisterham Academy, nor what you will pursue..."

"I won't be allowed back on the Cloisterham campus, I'm certain of that. That will prevent me from seeing any sort of performance, I'm sure."

"Well, we cannot be absolutely certain of that, can we?" Rosa said, clasping her hands together in order to give herself something to look at other than Mr. Jasper. "There is always a chance you could return, if only for a brief performance. Someone must be able to make an exception.Just as the exception has been made for me."

"I didn't think you would care about anything like that."

"I suppose I do not enjoy being so predictable," Rosa replied, lifting her shoulders into a shrug. "Perhaps I do not believe you should be completely banned from these premises. Perhaps I am attempting to achieve justice, even if only in my own mind."

"Honestly, I thought I was just going to leave without getting to see you again," he replied, almost as if he hadn't heard what she had just ranted on about. "I thought it was already over. And I thought that was almost a good thing, too. Right now I'm not so sure."

"I made the decision to come speak to you out of my own free will," Rosa said. "I decided I should come here to speak with you. I have been confined to my room and to offices for so long. I needed to do something."

"I can't say I see why," Mr. Jasper sighed. "You, of all people, coming to say goodbye to me as I leave."

"I am experiencing some difficulty comprehending the fact that you're leaving," Rosa said. "It doesn't seem as if it is truly happening."

"You'll never have to see me ever again," he replied. "No need for you to worry yourself over that."

"I didn't say I was worried over such a matter, did I?" Rosa asked, tilting her head. "No, I do not believe I did - I am not worried over it, not any longer. The circumstances surrounding us have been altered immensely in these past weeks. There is little else to say."

Mr. Jasper was rendered speechless by this - she admitted to so little and yet it was thousands of times more than what he was expecting from her. Wasn't she supposed to hate him? Wouldn't it only make sense for her to hate him more than anything? But she claimed she did not.

Rosa realized this static tension hanging with the air and chose to release her end of it by tugging on the end of her sleeve.

"I have become aware of many truths and an even greater amount of lies which I did not realize were present in my life before," she said. "I have chosen to embrace those truths and distance myself from those lies. Many were lies I fed to myself, you see...and now I must admit that it does not please me to see you about to leave. I...I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave Cloisterham."

He stared at her once again, and she refused to look anywhere but the ground. She didn't want to see any of his face just in case she ended up meeting his eyes in the process. She would much rather keep herself separate just in case it ended up tearing her apart. She couldn't bear that.

"I had such great plans for you," Mr. Jasper began. "Your senior year. Your biggest year. You would've been an officer in chorus, certainly - I'd give you any position you wanted, and I wanted to do Sweeney Todd, wanted to make you Johanna-"

"I would accuse you of nepotism though I am no relative of yours," Rosa replied, letting out an astonished laugh.

"Well, you deserve it all," he replied. "You don't need me to get anywhere. You never have."

"I..." Rosa's voice trailed off as she realized she did not have a proper response. But she took a moment to collect her thoughts and then spoke out.

"I know you were my anon."

"Of course. I should've known. Too obvious. Who else would write you love poems?"

"I must admit, I did not immediately figure such a matter out. You were quite genuine, and I...well, I loved to bask in such blandishment. Helena can verify, I adore being adored. But then it was clear you knew so much, and I...I soon figured it out-"

"Listen, Rosa, I'm sorry, it was a stupid thing-"

"Please don't apologize for caring about me. Even when I distanced myself from the world you attempted to comfort me, even under the guise of an anon."
"I just...I never should've done any of it."

"Maybe. But please, listen...Elly was a lot of things, I must admit, but Elly always used their heart to figure people out when they felt they could. They could be brash and foolish, but they often managed to see people as they are within as long as Elly wasn't prejudiced to begin with. I never understood why they referred to you with such great reverence. But it was my own biased ignorance which caused me to view you in such a manner in the end. We both know the unfathomable damage I have caused."

"Rosa, you don't need to say-"

"I will say what I desire to say. I believe I will never have another opportunity to say this," Rosa interrupted. "Elly saw the bright side of you which I refused to see after everything. But I should've known. When Elly came out as genderfluid, you were one of the first to support them...and I refused to acknowledge such matters. I allowed myself to see only your ills."

She heaved out a breath, wrapping her arms around herself.

"And it turns out that so many of your ills were forgotten ills, done and forgotten," Rosa continued. "They were nearly someone else's, the fault of the confusion within you and not you yourself. I know there was no proper way for me to be aware of that and yet I cannot stop the guilt from overflowing...I...I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing that I haven't already forgiven you for, that is," he said, waving it aside.

"It's not just that. I am sorry," Rosa continued. "No matter how much you bat it aside, there are certainly matters that I must apologize for. Hatred. Elly. Confessions. And I'm just...I am sorry."

"No, Rosa. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Don't say that," Rosa replied, shaking her head. "I..."

"I know now that you never wanted to hear that I was in love with you, and you already knew before I said it. I don't know how you figured it out - and I don't want to know - but I'm sorry."

"Sorry for falling in love with me?" Rosa asked. "Or sorry for never realizing that it would not be reciprocated?"

"Both. I guess. But I feel like that makes it sound like it was all a bad thing, all just a mistake - I mean, it must seem that way for you."

"I cannot be certain of how I would describe the circumstances which surround us, but I have a firm belief it could not be labelled as correct or incorrect, or a mistake. It is simply a matter which has happened. I...I cannot say."

"Yes, of course...you should know...I didn't lie about anything I said. I mean...I mean that...I meant everything I said that day. I don't know what else I said, and I don't know if I want to, but...I meant what I said."

"I believed you then, and I believe you know," Rosa said, bowing her head slightly. "I do not believe that you would have lied about such a matter."

"Well, you probably thought I'd gone mad and was just spouting nonsense."

Rosa did respond to this directly and instead moved the conversation in a direction she found more savory.

"I...I do have one question I must query you over before we part," Rosa said, biting her lip. "I do not know if you will be able to answer such a question, but I cannot part from you without asking it. That is, if you are willing to listen to my question."

"Of course," he replied, all too eager to answer whatever she asked. "I'll listen. Of course. I'll give you the best answer that I can."

"I do not know if this will be quite simple to answer," Rosa said, letting out a fluttering laugh. "I...I wish to know...why did you fall in love with me?"

Jon winced, just perceptible in Rosa's flitting gaze. He didn't want to answer such a thing - perhaps he did not know the answer, perhaps he did not want to say it. All at once she felt the tidal wave of guilt washing upon her - why would she ask such a thing? What could possibly drive her to ask such a thing?

But he loved her, and he wanted to give her the best answer possible. If these were the last words Jon ever spoke to Rosa Burgos, then he would make them true. He took a moment in an attempt to collect.

"I didn't fall in love with you because you're beautiful. Or because everyone else in Cloisterham seemed to have fallen for you. It's more than that. You don't have so many admirers for nothing, Rosa, despite what you may think."

"But...why? You have to have some reason," Rosa said, her voice barely above a murmur.

"If there had to be one reason, I guess...how do you say this...hm...it's because you have a world in you. It's nothing like what's out here, and you carry it around within you. Sometimes I can glimpse it in your eyes or hear a trace of it in your voice. And...for me, it was impossible not...not to..."

"Oh," she breathed out. "Oh."

"And it's always been that way."

"Since you met me."

"Since I met you."

"I was thirteen years old," she replied.

"I know."

"Thirteen years old, unsure of everything, clasping to Elly's hand as if it could...as if it could keep me afloat," she continued.

"I remember."

"I assumed you might. But I..."

She looked to be on the verge of tears.

"I'm only seventeen years old," Rosa said. "I don't have the faintest idea what I'm doing. I don't...I don't know."

The smallest shade of a smile played across Jon's lips before he said, "Neither do I. And I'm twice your age."

"I know," she said. "I just...I wish...I wish it wouldn't have to turn out this way. I wish we could know how our lives would be able to turn out...at least somewhat more than we know right now."

"I wish the same thing. But I guess when I wished for the monotony of Cloisterham to end I ended up getting myself into this mess. And now here we are. I'm leaving, just as I always wanted to. Except, of course, you're staying."

Rosa's heart beat in an erratic rhythm, each thump telling her to go. Go. Go. Go. Leave him behind. The remnants of her fear from former encounters with him refused to fade. She knew that such thoughts were incorrect, and yet she could not prevent them. They were ingrained into her as much as her fancy words.

She still didn't know what had carried her to Mr. Jasper's office for the final time.

And Jon didn't know what to think now, either.

Good God. He was still so very in love with her, as much as he'd ever been. He couldn't tear himself from those eyes of hers, those eyes that were so blind as they could only see the world that lay within her, so pretty and yet so oblivious. There was so much she didn't see or chose not to see.

He wished he wasn't in love with her. It would've been easier if he didn't love her. If he'd never loved her. If he didn't love her then he wouldn't have to leave. If he didn't love her then it wouldn't be anywhere near as painful as it was to leave her behind, potentially forever. But if he didn't love her he wouldn't have followed her to begin with.

She would never understand.

Rosa took a deep breath, allowing it to fill up her lungs before she released it all with a sigh. Why was it that she could work to give herself an astounding vocabulary just to not have the right words when she needed them most? She tried to say something, anything, explain everything through what flew through her mind.

Deciding that there was nothing that she could say, she closed her eyes and shook her head. Trying to bend her lips into a small smile, she looked towards Mr. Jasper one last time. With that, she started walking out of the room. What else was she to do? No, she just allowed her feet to carry her out of the office.

How could she speak anything more? What more could she tell him that he hadn't already heard from her? She wouldn't speak anything false just to ease his mind, no. That would be the cruelest thing she could do.

He watched her leave, waited for her to disappear from his sight, possibly for the last time in ages. But she did not disappear. Instead, Rosa turned around.

She said nothing when she walked back into the room. He started to ask what she was doing, but she refused to speak. Thus, she spread her own silence.Then she flung herself into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck.

Rosa bit her lip as she tried to find a way to separate herself from Mr. Jasper in a way that made sense. If she launched herself into the embrace, then she would have to find a way to pull herself out of it. She would have to find something.

And finally, she did find it.

She pressed her lips against his cheek, a kiss goodbye. Even with a dictionary's worth of vocabulary in tow, no words could express what that kiss could.

Rosa didn't have to say anything else now that she had done such a thing. Now she could leave with the confidence that she had spoken her mind, that he knew that she couldn't speak another word.

Rosa glanced back after taking just a few steps into the hallway. Her eyes met Jon's immediately - after all, he'd been staring at her as she left the room. She inhaled as if she had something more to say.

But she did not. What more could she possibly tell him that would make it any easier on him? He had loved her, he did love her, he would love her still. All that was left to do was for her to leave.

- - - - -

Rosa returned to her dorm room with a minor case of sniffles and reddened eyes. Helena picked up on this immediately and burst into action to remedy whatever was causing her girlfriend distress.

"Rosa, what's wrong?" she asked. "Where were you?"

"That is of no importance," Rosa sniffled out. "I'll be fine. I am fine. There is no reason to fret."

"Are you sure about that, Rosa?" Helena said, taking Rosa's head within her hands. "Because something's happened, and I want to make sure it's not hurting you."

"I will not deny that there is something hurting me, yes, but it is entirely an internal matter," Rosa said, making certain to wipe away any tears that remained trailing across her cheeks. "There is nothing to be done that shall remedy it entirely, I assure of that much at least."

"And you don't want to talk about it? You know that talking about it will help you, Rosa."

"I believe this is one case where that shall not apply, but rest assured that you shall be the first one I will turn to if I ever do wish to speak of it."

"I would hope so," Helena said, giving a small laugh even though she knew Rosa was being completely serious. Rosa fell silent for a moment, seemingly lost within her own thoughts. Helena knew it had something to do with whatever made Rosa cry to begin with, but she had been asked not to pry. Thus, she would not pry.

"Helena, you won't ever leave me, will you?" Rosa asked quietly, breaking her own silence while tilting her head. "You don't even have a vestige of a plan to...to desert me in any way, do you?"

"Now, why would you ask something like that?"

"I just have been pondering the matter as of late," Rosa sighed. "Never mind specific reasons for my thoughts - I just wish to know the answer to my question. You won't, will you?"

"I don't have any plans to leave you, of course not," Helena said, shaking her head. She reached over and weaved her fingers into Rosa's hair, bringing their faces closer together so that they were sharing one another's breath. "I can't predict the future, but I won't leave you."

A smile began to form across Rosa's lips, but the tips seemed to quiver as if she was trying to hold it back. Despite this, she found her teeth appearing as she broke out into a small grin.

"Good," Rosa finally replied.

"Just good?" Helena asked. "I thought you would have something more elaborate to describe how you feel about that. You always do. Rosa, what's going on?"

I don't know," she sighed out. "I...I cannot find the words to describe my current circumstances as I can hardly comprehend them at all. And perhaps that is what is the matter. But do not let it diminish all you've done for me. What you have said is good. Pure, simple good."

She moved forward to press a kiss on Helena's lips. Rosa could never articulate how gracious she was to have Helena. She could spout all sorts of nonsense about how it was the greatest fortune she had ever encountered, how it had to be fate that they ended up together. But she would not. Even if the universe had gently pushed the two girls toward one another, it did not matter. They had one another.

When the two girls broke apart once again, a slight smile curled the edges of Rosa's mouth upwards. She remembered something rather exciting, something she was surprised she had not told Helena about yet as it was something quite exciting.

"Oh, I do have something marvelous to tell you," Rosa said.

"And what would that be, Rosa?"

"Paula is going to try to move closer to Cloisterham," Rosa exclaimed, this time allowing a smile to truly stretch across her lips. "She's going to be near me, and she's going to help me get through senior year of high school, help me with the intricacies of life..."

"So she'll never have to leave you again," Helena finished off for her.

"Yes, precisely," Rosa agreed. "No more leaving for me. Everyone I need is here to stay."