||Y/n's p.o.v||

I couldn't do it...I lasted almost a week, but I couldn't keep up whatever bullshit fantasy agenda I was trying convince myself to be apart of. I broke off whatever I had with Karma and just hid in my room until it was time for me to go back to school.  He was cool about it, but I still felt bad.  Don't get me wrong though, I like Karma, and I liked kissing a guy and having one actually like me, but I don't like like him. To be honest, he's not really my type. Sure, he's handsome, I can't deny that, but he's loud and teases me too much. Not to mention I've only ever seen him as an annoying older brother, so suddenly going out with him and holding his hand, it felt weird. 

There was also the fact that every time I was with him, all I could think about was Nagisa. I was only really even giving Karma the time of day because I wanted to forget about Nagisa. That, and I hoped that by going out so much we'd bump into him and he'd see I was better off without him.  Yhat never happened and I'm full of shit. I love Nagisa, even after what happened and I want him to be happy no matter what. If he wants to be with Kayano, then I should be happy for him and put all my feelings aside...It's what a good friend would do. 

That's why on the first day back, I didn't run. I didn't transfer back onto the main campus. I held my head up high and walked up the steps towards E class. Still though, this revelation didn't make me any less nervous to come to class. I purposely left the house later than usual, so that there would be less of a chance of me bumping into Nagisa or Karma. When I showed up on campus, I was still in the on time bracket, but I definitely wasn't going to be the first student there either. 

While I was was walking up the stairs of the school building, someone grabbed my arm. I figured it was Karma so I scoffed,

"It's the first day back, and you're already pestering me like nothing happened, red?"

"Uh...Y/n...Can we talk, please?"

That voice...It wasn't Karma's, it was Nagisa's. I turned back, and yep now there was no mistaking it. Nagisa was grabbing onto me, and so I couldn't run, I couldn't hide, I couldn't ignore him. I had to face him...My face heated up more than I would have liked it to.

Nagisa let go of my arm arm, and looked away sadly. "Sorry...I didn't mean to grab you..."

"It's fine..." I told him.

"Y/n...I—I apologized to Kayano for kissing her, but, I never got to apologize to you..." He began.

Quickly I stopped him, by patting his head like how he used to do to me, "Nagisa, it's fine! You don't have to apologize for kissing Kayano!! I'm already over it!!" I told him happily.

"'Over it'?" Nagisa repeated, "Y/n, it's okay to be mad—"

"I'm not mad though, I told you it was fine!" I reminded him happily.

I tried to remain positive, but Nagisa was really testing me. I had no idea why he wanted me to have such a big reaction in the first place. Wasn't me forgiving him enough? I already love him so much that it hurts just to look at him now. I thought I'd be doing him a service by being so nonchalant, but if that was the case, why was he trying not to cry.

"Y/n...you don't even care, that I kissed another girl?" He asked me.

I didn't answer. Of course I cared, I was just trying to keep the peace. I wanted to pretend that him kissing Kayano didn't bother me, so that things could maybe go back to normal, whatever 'normal' even was anymore.

"Why don't you care?" He asked, "This reaction...it isn't like you..."

"Please, stop..." I told him.

Nagisa looked up at me with his watery eyes. Now he was crying. I bit my lip to try not to cry either, but it was so so so hard.

"Y/n, it's okay to be sad! It's okay to be upset! You can scream at me if you want, break up, whatever, just please at least let me know how you're feeling—"

"It's fine because I kissed Karma!" I told him suddenly.

Quickly, I covered my mouth and looked anywhere but at him.

"Y/n..." Nagisa muttered, "When?"

Now he'd done it. Tears lined my eyes and threatened to fall at any second. This wasn't how I wanted to go, this isn't how I wanted to tell him... 'Damn it!!' I thought. I felt Nagisa grab my arm,

"Y/n, when?" He asked.

I looked back at him and pulled my hand away from my mouth. Quickly I wiped my eyes with the tips of my fingers,

"It was before you even kissed Kayano...When you went off to the shed outside with Kayano, I assumed the worst, so I got really sad. Karma brought me to one of the empty classes, and I don't know what happened. He just leaned it at some point, and I didn't push him away, and I should have and I'm sorry!! I never wanted to tell you like this..."

Nagisa's grip on my arm loosened,

"Did you kiss him back?" Nagisa asked.

I hesitated, but before I could answer Nagisa spoke up again.

"You didn't kiss him back, did you?" Nagisa pressed me, "Y/n...you didn't kiss Karma..." He said.

I looked at him in confusion, "Yes I did—"

"Y/n, Karma kissed you...You were upset and he took advantage of you!! I'm the one who knew what he was doing, so—"

"Stop trying to make everything about you!!" I told him, "You kissed Kayano, and I kissed Karma, that's it!! Those are the facts!!"

"But you didn't kiss him! These are two completely different circumstances!!" He tried to reason.

"No they're not!! Stop trying to justify this!! Stop trying to portray Karma as the bad guy in this—"

"But, he is!!"

"He's not!!" I told him, "After kissing him it made me realize that—that..."

Quickly I said the first thing that came to mind, which just so happened to be a lie,

" I don't want to be with you anymore!! Whatever thing we had, I want no part of it anymore!"

I felt tears spill out my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. I let out a sigh,

"Nagisa we both kissed two different people, so we're even...We're done, and that's it..."

"Y/n..."

I turned away from him and opened up the school door, "I'm going inside..." I told him.

When I walked down the hall and opened the door, everyone was looking at me. Most had looks of pity on their faces. I felt sick, I knew that they had all probably heard the heated exchange I had with Nagisa outside. Quickly, I made my way over to my desk and sat down. I faced the window, and not even Karma dared to speak to me. 'I should have stayed home...' I thought. 

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Mwuah hahahahahahah 😈 😈 More angst coming sooon!! See you next week!!...maybe...

Bye not the three long ass paragraphs in the beginning tho...