"He doesn't even try to dodge bullets half of the times. He's absolutely immortal." Seras was doing your hair in a new style; she had wanted to put multiple bows in it, but you compromised with just one bow. She always had participated in the game of dressing you as a doll. "Or perhaps not... immortal. But close enough. Anyway, he did the Invocation of Cromwell up to level three."

"What's that?!" You turned your head to look at her.

"Turn back round!" She scolded you.

You gnashed your teeth at her and she knocked your head forward.

Pouting, you turned your head back around.

"It's a true vampire skill." She explained as she fixed your hair. "It's very frightening and powerful from what I gather. Makes him even more invincible."

"Invincible sounds like my type of man..." You smiled a twisted smile and asked with a moan.

"You know, if he wasn't my master, a vampire, a little bit insufferable, a lot of bit cruel and an existential loner... I'd think you two would get on well. The invincible part being quite crucial..." She sighed.

"You know, my husband couldn't really relate to anything you just said!" You cheered in a chipper manner.

"Right, we know you didn't like him." Seras shook her head. "I like this dress. You haven't worn it in a while."

"Too many bows." You scowled. "Anyway."

"Anyway, Sir Integra's mansion was being attacked by these two super vampire/human things and Master Alucard took one out so easily. He blasted his legs off and mocked him for not being able to regenerate them and keep fighting. For not picking up his gun and retaliating. He called them useless, pitiful creatures."

"Men are." You shrugged. "You know that, don't you, Sera-ra? Men are nothing but blood-bags who waste space and oxygen."

"Dog food." She finished your hair and came to sit next to you. "He called them dog food. Nothing less than human excrement and fit to become the shit of his hell-hound."

"Suitable." You nodded. "How is my hair?"

"Better. Why don't you let the orderlies do it?"

"Sick, sick men. As if men can do hair like my own darling Sera-ra could."

"But you don't know when I'm coming. You'd rather your hair get disgusting than let one of them brush it out?" She inquired.

"They blast me with cold water." You scowled. "They call it therapy, but it's just a bath. Awful bath. Cold. Hurts."

"Sorry, love. But that's what they do here." She looked away from you. You had to be here; so there was no use in coddling you.

"What were you doing that whole time?" You inquired.

"Tearing ghouls apart, with my hands and feet." She gave you a crooked smile. "Big sister isn't so innocent."

You howled with laughter.

"Except the whole virgin part!" You laughed harder as Seras turned red.

A nurse came into the room at the raucous noise.

"Everything alright?" She inquired.

"Yes, yes. I'm just leaving. Sorry for riling her up... I know she'll calm down for you." Seras gave you a look.

But you just kept laughing. And laughing. And laughing.