Hey guys! Were so happy to start writing Alive and Shattered again! We missed the story and the characters so much! I just wanted to quickly thank my cowriter for being AMAZING! And I wanted to thank shadows_ for her amazing work on the cover!

The keys rattled wildly on my keychain as I locked the front door of the bookstore. Jaime, my co-worker started babbling about her life and it took all I had to pay attention to what she was saying. I was feeling really down today and it didn’t help that I worked the nightshift. Who even goes to a bookstore at night?

As she continued to complain about her ex-boyfriend, we started our walk towards her place. Jamie’s apartment was on the way to mine, so she felt the need to walk with me. Anyone could tell that she liked me, but Jaime reminded me of Jackie and Jackie was a part of my past. Anything to do with the past ended up with Adena

The past was something I tried to stay away from. After All, all it did was bring me pain. It seemed, though, that the past was always haunting me.

When we reached her apartment building, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led inside. She started up the stairs but turned to face me.  

“Thanks for walking me home,” She said, smiling sweetly. Nodding, I couldn’t help but think: It’s not like I had a choice. “You know, my roommate isn’t home.” She began, pointing toward the door. “Want to come in and watch a movie or something?”

“Not tonight.” I stated in the same way I had last time.

“May I ask why not? I’m just trying to be friendly.”

“Because, I’m not looking for a relationship,” I turned around and walked away, feeling a slight sense of annoyance.

“I just want to be friends!” She huffed, storming inside her apartment complex.

“I don’t want friends,” I mumbled, starting off towards my apartment.  I couldn't help but feel the same heart aching emotions I felt all the time; the constant uncomfortable ache in my heart that was excruciating.

To this day, I still couldn’t believe that it happened. That five years ago, I lost her. The pain drove me insane. It was crippling. It made me want to stop everything.

I couldn't go on...but I had to and I wasn't happy about it. Sometimes, I just wanted to leave.

Permanently.

Shaking my head, I thought back to the words Grady, my roommate, had said: "Just keep fighting."

How was I supposed to keep fighting when I didn't have anything to fight for?

Although it was spring, the air still held a crisp chill. Zipping up my jacket, I told myself to stop thinking about her.

I couldn't though.

I couldn't make the voices stop. They tempted me to open up the wounds of the past. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I shook my head again. I had to stop thinking.

Now.

I glanced around trying to find something; anything to get my mind off of the past.

Turning the corner, I looked up towards the roof top. Thinking back to six months ago, when I had given Cassie my whole life story, I saw how much that ruined me.

Before talking with Cassie, I had somehow found a way to shut out my thoughts during the day. By not thinking about the bad memories, I had managed to find a way to make life okay.

But, by talking to Cassie, I reopened the wounds and now all I could do was think of her.

Adena.

Even hearing her name made me feel like dying.

I wonder how Cassie is? I had always hoped she’d stop by the bookstore, or I’d read about her in the paper. But, for the past six months, I hadn’t heard a single word about her.

I wondered if I had saved her life that night at all?

Or if I had killed, yet again, another person.

Reaching the complex, I made my way up the stairs and to the apartment. Throwing open the front door to the apartment, I kicked off my shoes.

“Hey,” Vicky, Grady’s girlfriend, smiled. She sat on the dark brown couch with Grady’s arm around her. Not saying a word, I passed them and walked into the adjoining kitchen to grab a glass of water.  

“Hey, how was work?” Grady asked.

“Fine,” I quietly stated, not knowing exactly what to say. I didn’t feel like small talk and seeing couples affectionate in anyway made me extremely uncomfortable. I never had gotten the chance to do any of that with Adena.

The fact that Grady was even affectionate toward Vicky had always bothered me. I couldn’t see how he had gotten over Adena already and had moved on to focusing on a girlfriend.

Sitting down at the small, wooden table near the kitchen, I pulled my phone from my pocket and set it down on the table. Turning my attention to what they were watching on the TV, I instantly realized what it was.

It was Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Five years ago, I would have laughed. Except, that was the old Dylan. Even seeing this movie made my heart stop. I could imagine Adena and I sitting on the couch watching it together. I’d glance at her until she glanced at me.

We would keep this going for a couple minutes before engulfing ourselves back into the movie.

The pain was too much. Rising quickly from the chair and kicking it away from me, I sped off towards my room. I didn’t want to be anywhere near that movie.

Shutting the door, I turned my back against it and sunk to the ground. I put my head in my hands. The image of Adena laughing at the movie replayed over and over in my mind. I couldn’t stop the small voices that mockingly whispered: “She’s gone.”

Then I started remembering our last day together; the last thing I heard her say. Her questioning my love for her. I saw Adena’s face, eyes filling with tears as she ran away. Then, I saw her lying on her bedroom floor, surrounded in a pool of blood.

I jumped up, anger boiled inside of me. You did this to her! I shouted at myself as I turned around, sending my fist into the door. Running a hand through my hair, I spun around in a small circle before sliding down and sitting against the door again.

Sadly, this small event happened everyday.

My knuckles usually were slightly bruised because I liked to punch things in anger. That was usually the one emotion I had. Sometimes, when the anger went away, I would be left with the worst void in my heart.  

Taking in a deep shaking breath, I could hear a small ringing in the distance.

“Dylan!” Grady’s voice boomed throughout the apartment. Forcing myself to cover all my feelings, I got up and left my room. When I reached the living room, he looked over his shoulder. “Phone.”

Walking to the kitchen table, I grabbed my phone. I didn’t recognize the number lighting up my screen. I didn’t want to answer it, but I thought I should. Sliding it open, I put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I questioned. No one spoke, the line was filled with utter silence. I could hear someone breathing quietly on the other end. Looking to Grady, he had his eyebrow raised.

“Who is it?” Vicky questioned, also curious.

“Who’s this?” I questioned, also wanting to know.

“Dylan?” The voice questioned. I recognize this voice, it sounded so familiar. I just couldn’t pinpoint who it was.

“Yes?” I questioned, becoming slightly worried.

“It’s Mark…” Who was Mark? “Uhmm…” The voice grew quiet and I could tell he was having trouble speaking to me. “Adena’s dad.” My heart stopped completely and my whole world seemed to freeze.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t say anything. Infact, I couldn’t breathe. I opened my mouth but no words would come out of it. My hand started to shake as I set down the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Vicky questioned as she and Grady got off the couch and came to my side.

“I… It’s…” Grady took the phone from me. I wheezed slightly, finding even a simple task like breathing very difficult.

“Dylan, you don’t look so good.” Vicky stated, trying to move me into one of the kitchen chairs. My body immediately felt like it was on fire. My head started to pound as Grady began talking into the phone. My legs felt like jelly and black dots began to cloud my vision.

The shock bombarding my system was too much. Before I knew it, I had crashed to the ground and everything went black.