Incorrect quotes but they're all real quotes from a real person I work with

Florida: I get bullied. Mostly at Chuck E Cheese.

Texas: *about Virginia* He never speaks and now he's dropping f bombs!

Utah: My wife said if I wanted to stay on the property I had to stay in the shed.

Utah: That's how I met the marmot.

Rhode Island: That's it, I'm throwing something at you later and you won't even know I'm there.

DC: Stop smiling.

DC: You should be electrocuted.

California: I squat under the stairs and hug myself while eating Pringles.

New York: I'm going to regret this, but keep going

Connecticut: Can I go to the bathroom?

Massachusetts: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 17,211

Connecticut: 7

Massachusetts: No sorry it was 8

Florida: Coco sell DC one of those pills you share at lunch

California: *to Colorado* Did you inhale fumes this morning?

Massachusetts: Sometimes others misfortunes make me laugh

DC: It's never too early to retire, is it?

DC: I'll go work on a farm

Colorado: The more you vape, the more athletic you become

Louisiana: *to Florida* I'm not saying your a serial killer

Alaska: I have to be alone I'm losing my mind

Alaska: *leaves*

Alaska: *comes back*

Alaska: I feel better

Texas: Have a great day, except for the following people

Texas: Oklahoma I hope your day is decent

DC: It's Florida, sometimes he says things that surprise us all

Maine: I've never seen it before

New Hampshire: It's because you're from Canada

Washington: I've lived in my shed for years

North Dakota: *to South Dakota* I wish I could do a spinning back kick

North Dakota: I would so take you out

Florida: I like cutting people in half

Florida: Everything else has been taken away from me, okay?

DC: I don't know

DC: I don't know

DC: I don't KNOW

California: No, let's make him as miserable as the rest of us