Narrator: (Ben) We cut back to the hill where the witches are as they gather.

Third Witch: (Conniticut) Look, all I'm saying is it doesn't make any sense!

Second Witch: (Massachusetts) It makes perfect sense the first witch trials took place in your state!

Third: But who had the most famous witch trials Salem?

Second: IT WASN'T EVEN IN SALEM IT WAS TECHNICALLY IN DANVERS.

Third: (Speaks in NE) YOU.

Second: (Speaks in Boston) YOU TOO.

First Witch: (Louisiana) See this is why I drink sha.

Second: I outta-holy (speaks in Boston) M**** is coming!

Third: Loui, did you prepare the prediction?

First: Oh....the prediction? I thought you meant 'daiquiri'.

Second: (Speaks in Boston)

First: Don't worry, I got it. Follow my lead.

Narrator: We cut to a forest where Banquo and our 'hero' of our play, in the loosest possible word, is entering.

Banquo: (Texas) Wow. I never saw a better or worse day than this huh?

(Beat)

Banquo: I said, I've never seen a better or worse day than this.

(Beat)

Banquo: You're going to have to come out.

M****: (Cali) (off screen) I'm not doing it.

Banquo: You baby.

M****: (enters) Hey I go crazy with power!

Banquo: At least you technically make it to the end of the play!

M****: You know Shakespeare?

Banquo: Just 'cuss I'm southern doesn't mean I ain't cultured!

M****: I'm just saying....
First: Hey.

M****: (technical glitch) (jumps in Banquo's arms Scooby Doo style)

Banquo: You're pathetic. (drops Cali)

First: Hail!

Second: Hail!

Third: Hail!

First: Hail M****. Thane of Glamis.

Second: Hail M****. Thane of Cawdor.

Third: Hail M****. Future king!

Banquo: Hey wait a second, you get to be king????

M****: Well I do have some good ideas how to run this country-

Second: No one cares.

M****: Hey!

Banquo: Alright then do me! What can you see for me?

First: Uh

Second: Did we have a prediction for him?

Third: See this is why I'm the smartest of the New England states. (gets hit by Bill's jersey) (Speaks in New England) you New York! (sighs) Not as great as M****, but greater.

First: Oh I know this one! Not as happy as M***, but much happier.

Second: Your sons shall be kings, even though you shall not.

Banquo: What the hell???? He gets to be king but I have to wait for my sons to be king???

First: Technically your sons sha....

Banquo: (Technical glitch) my kids! I wanna be king!

M****: Yeah and the Thane of Cawdor is alive unless by pure coincidence he betrayed Duncan and he arrested him to be executed and I become Thane of Cawdor. But what are the chances of that??

Narrator: The witches disappear but Ross comes in.

Ross: (Ohio) Ope, hi. I have some good news!

Banquo: Michigan's dead?

Ross: You really think I'll be sober right now if Michigan was dead?
Banquo: Fair point.

Ross: Anyway, the Thane of Cawdor is a traitor, much like that state up north, and has been sentenced to death. King Duncan has decided you'll be the new Thane of Cawdor.

Banquo: Oh (technical glitch).

M****: (loud squeaking)

Ross: Ope, Cali you okay?

M****: Is it too late to switch my part?

Narrator: Yes.

M****: OH COME ON