Narrator: (Ben) Back in M****'s castle, things are going bad from worse.

King M****: (Cali) Guys, guys things are fine.

Seyton: (Wyoming) How. How are things fine?

King M****: Malcolm was born from a woman! The witches said no one born from a woman can kill me. We're fine.

Seyton: Even though everyone's deserting you?

King M****: Eh, I'm used to not having friends.

Seyton: That's fair.

King M****: Doctor! How's my wife?

Doctor: (Utah) How can I put this nicely?

(Beat)

Doctor: Your wife is insane.

King M****: Y'know there could be an interesting thesis paper about how Shakespeare builds up these powerful woman characters only to tear them down.

Seyton: Save it for ninth grade English class.

Narrator: Meanwhile on the battlefield, Malcolm has an idea.

Malcolm: (District) I have an idea!

Narrator: I just said-y'know what not worth it.

Malcolm: Tell the soldiers to tear the branches off the trees to disguise themselves with.

Macduff: (Michigan) WHOA, WHOA that'll damage the trees!

Malcolm: How else can we get dramatic irony???

Macduff: Kill him like he killed Duncan?

Malcolm: Nah that would be too easy.

Narrator: Meanwhile back in M****'s castle....

King M****: No, no really it would be a good thesis!

Seyton: I'm not listening to you!

King M****: You act like I'm not used to that!

Seyton: Damn it.

(A cry)

King M****: What was th-

Seyton: I'LL LOOK. (runs off)

King M****: Am I really that boring?

Everyone: Yes.

King M****: Aw.

Seyton: (comes back) Well I have some good news and bad news. The good news is your single...

King M****: Wait, is my wife dead???

IDC: (off screen) YES. FINALLY MY SUFFERING IS OVER.

King M****: Well (technical glitch). Oh well, once we defeat the army, I'll just find a non-crazy woman to marry.

Messenger: (Colorado) Man. I'm really high.

King M****: Oh now what? Is Taco Bell closed?

Messenger: (wimpers) Taco Bells closed?

King M*****: No wait-

Messenger: (cries)

Seyton: Smooth Cali, your own brother.

King M*****: Shut up. Just...tell me what's wrong.

Messenger: The forest is moving!

King M****: WHAT?

Seyton: You are high.

King M****: (technical glitch)

Seyton: What's wrong with you?

King M****: NOTHING! Nothing's wrong! No one born of a woman can still kill me! (gets sword) Avengers assemble! (runs off)

Messenger: Taco Bell?
Seyton: No

Messenger: Aw.