attempted murder tw

I don't know why NChick was Sarah Palin. Topical maybe? I'm not going back to watch it. 

DC: Alright, let's get st-

M. Critic: (turns dramatically in chair) I HAVE RETURNED!

DC: (technical glitch)

Nevada: Sorry. He keeps following me.

Florida: Oh it's Weird Suit Man!

M. Critic: M. Critic.

Florida: Nah. Weird Suit Man.

DC: What do you want now, Critic?

M. Critic: I've just come to tell you all how amazing Kickassia is! Oh and introduce my vice president!

Nostalgia Chick dressed as Sarah Palin: (waves) Why it's good to be here!

Alaska: You look familiar.

NChick: I....I don't know what you're talkin' bout hun!

Alaska: (stares)

NChick: (smiles wavers)

Alaska: Whatever. Don't care.

DC: Look M. Critic we have actual news to get to.

M. Critic: But I have news! We have a space program!

DC: EXCUSE ME?

Florida: HEY that's my thing! DC make him stop!

M. Critic: We're hoping to break orbit soon once our scientist gets over his dramatic outbursts.

Spoony: (off screen) THE DARKNESS.

DC: What was that?

M. Critic: (nervously) Nothing! (calling) Someone get Spoony!

NChick: (gets up, leaves)

M. Critic: And we have a flag! (unfurls flag)

(Beat)

Cali: That's just an ice cream cone smoking a cigar, with muscle arms, holding machine guns.

Texas: Gets an A+ from me!

(NChick returns holding bat)

M. Critic Thank you Texas, y'know some people appreciate good art.

(NChick starts aiming bat)

DC: Uh....Critic....

Florida: SHHHHH. (to Critic) Go on.

M. Critic: Oh and we have some wonderful military leadership-lemme get the files (ducks)

(NChick swings and misses)

Loui and Flo: Awwww.

M. Critic: (sits up) See?

Cali: I fail to see how a micronation could have an army, a space progam, and a stupid flag.

(NChick gets blanket)

Nevada: Well I don't see you having a space program.

Cali: Oh now you're defending this guy???

M. Critic: Ya know this is cute....(leans forward a little so NChick can miss strangling him) it reminds me of me and Linkara...

DC: Okay enough. M. Critic you are not a state nor even a real country-

Nevada: THANK YOU.

DC: We have important state business to handle so you need to go!

Florida: And take your stupid space program with you!

M. Critic: FINE. But we'll come back! And you'll see the glory of Kickassia! (flips table off and walks off with NChick angry behind him)

Florida: HEY (flips him back off) right back at you!

M. Critic: (off screen) It's the Kickassian salute!

Florida: Oh. (chaos grin) Hey DC....

DC: Please don't.