The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me/Singing Christmas carols

(Ext: Outside)

Illinois: (shivering) Monty is (speaks in Midwestern) freezing. 

Vermont: But we need to deck the halls!

Illinois: (speaks Midwestern) 

Stale TV specials

(Int: Living Room)

Kentucky: The elves are certainly happy Santa's dead...

(Int: CVS)

CVS Clerk: Sir, there's a limit on how many batteries you can buy

Georgia: What is there a battery shortage?

(Int: Car)

Massachusetts: That's it! I'm buying their gifts on Amazon! (drives off)

(Int: Target Aisle)

Gov: Dear God if I buy you the candy will you leave me alone???

Florida: Yes.

Gov: Fine.

Florida: For half an hour.

(Ext: Store front)

Maine: (runs by with the charity bucket)

(Int: Kitchen)

Utah: Maybe if I burn myself badly enough, I'll get out of this!

Five months of bills

(Int: DC's office)

Connecticut: Hey DC, why's there a charge on the house credit card for a hundred dollars worth of books-

DC: GIVE ME THAT

(Int: Kitchen table)

Maryland: (writing) Finally, dear....Ben....thank you for....creating us...

(Int: Hallway)

Louisiana: (walks out of bathroom) (sighs)

Florida: Wanna go drinking?

Louisiana: Hell yeah! 

(Ext: Outside Statehouse)

Texas: Havin' some trouble there Rho-

Rhode Island: If you're so (speaks in northeastern) smart YOU PUT UP THE LIGHTS. (storms off)

Texas: What did I say???

And finding a Christmas tree

(Ext: Tree lot)

Massachusetts: Finally. FINALLY. We got our (speaks in Boston) tree

New York: All we gotta do is drag it back.

(Beat)

Massachusetts: I (speaks in Boston) hate you