The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me/Stale TV specials

(Ext: Living Room) 

TV Announcer: And now, time for a Home Alone marathon

Kentucky: Jesus Christ there are better Christmas movies

TV Announcer: NO THERE ISN'T

(Int: Car) 

Massachusetts: A SPOT! A SPOT! Back off assholes it's mi-WHO DRIVES A MOTORCYCLE IN WINTER???

(Int: CVS) 

Georgia: (shrugs) They'll figure it out on Christmas (shoves all the batteries in basket)

(Int: Target aisle)

Florida: I have to peeeeee

Gov: I told you not to down those three peppermint mocha frappachinos!

Florida: But they were so good!!

(Ext: Outside a store) 

Bellringer: Ya know if you just looked into our organization you'd find that we are actual a peaceful people raising money for the less fortunate. 

Maine: No no you're right. You're raising money for me!

Bellringer: WAIT NO!

(Int: Kitchen) 

Utah: She's a witch I hate her

Illiythia: (off screen) UTAH

Utah: NOTHING DEAR

Five months of bills

(Ext: DC's office) 

DC: I keep telling Cali, he can't charge his flannels on the house card! We're not feeding your addiction!!!

(Int: Kitchen table) 

Maryland: (writing) Merry Christmas to the MAGA crowd, get...vaccinated...you...fucks....

(Int: Hallway)

Louisiana: (peeking out of bathroom) LISTEN I don't know who I have to kill to get it, if I don't clean this up DC will murder me!

Florida: But we used all the toilet paper to tee-pee DeSantis's house!

Louisiana: FLO THIS IS SER-(lights go out) what the....

(Int: Front door) 

Rhode Island: (bursts in) GET A FLASHLIGHT I BLEW A FUSE. 

And finding a Christmas tree

(Ext: Tree lot) 

New York: Carefully...carefully...no stop!

Massachusetts: What?

New York: You're cutting it wrong! It's going to be crooked!

Massachusetts: I'm going to cut you crooked!