Inspired by sssleepyjellyyy

DC: I don't like this opening text already.

Kentucky: Isn't this based on a real story?

Everyone: *looks at California*

California: *sighs*

California: Yes.

Louisiana: Why's that look like gumbo?

Florida: I

Florida: I don't think this is gumbo Loui.

Texas: *quickly does the sign of the cross*

DC: D:

Georgia: You gonna be okay peaches?

DC: *gulps* I can handle it.

New York: They gave this guy a can to go in? What friends.

Florida: Heh Cali, that chick doing her zodiac stuff is you.

California:

California: A Pisces would say that.

DC: Is Franklin a serial killer?

Kentucky: So he's the Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Georgia: Ah the seventies, when you could pick up hitchhikers and no one would care.

DC: Y'know what, I'm a vegan now.

California: FINALLY!

Texas: Sugar NO

Louisiana: This is why there were so many serial killers in the seventies

DC: JESUS FUCK

Florida: See this trick is, you have to cauterize the wou--

DC: DIA NOT NOW.

Texas: Would've shot this guy right after stabbing himself.

California: Is everything violence to you?

Texas: LOOK AT HIM

Kentucky: Franklin is oddly calm about this

Louisiana: Oh that's just a ritual nothing to be afraid of-

California: WHY DID HE CUT FRANKLIN?

DC: DRIVE YOU IDIOTS.

Georgia: God can Franklin stop whining?

New York: He just went through some trauma alright? Calm down.

Louisiana: Oh sha he blew up your picture because he was doing a ritual, don't worry about it.

Florida: Okay but what if it was an evil one?

Louisiana: Then worry.

DC: It's kind of assholish to leave Franklin like this.

Louisiana: Imagine being afraid of bones.

Kentucky: *loud gasping*

Georgia: Baby?

Kentucky: LOOK AT ALL 'EM CARS

Texas: That looks like grandma's old house

California: Now if they were smart they'd run off right now.

California: But this is a horror movie so they won't.

DC: It's also the seventies.

New York: That backsplash with all the bones and taxidermy is pretty cool

DC: HOLY SHI-

Florida: Hey look it's Florida man!

DC: D:

Texas: Is the close up on her butt necessary?

DC: Oh God if your boyfriend doesn't answer you then just RUN holy shit!

Georgia: *glances down* You holdin' my hand?

Kentucky: Thought you were scared.

Georgia: No I'm fine.

Kentucky: Oh well...erm....good.

DC: RUN.

New York: WHY ISN'T SHE RUNNING?

Louisiana: But bones are used all the time in--

California: IS THIS REALLY THE TIME 'NOLIA?

DC: HOLY FUCK VOMIT THEN RUN. RUN. RUN.

DC: AND NOW YOUR--WHAT'S ON HIS FACE.

Kentucky: *horrified silence*

Florida: Well that's one way to stick it to her.

Everyone else: *horrified*

DC: *screaming*

Georgia: Y'know what, I want Franklin to die...Kentucky my hand.

Kentucky: *clears throat* Sorry....just a reaction.

DC: God they're basically IDC and me.

DC: NO DON'T GO IN THERE. CALL FOR HELP. CALL 911.

New York: Good. Smart man. Walk off. No don't leave, leave....leave....good.

New York: YOU DUMBASS.

Kentucky: ALL THESE CHARACTERS ARE DUMBASSES.

DC: *SCREAMS*

Louisiana: I love that he's acting like this is a minor inconvenience.

DC: I HATE THIS. I HATE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH.

Florida: I kind of wish I had a mask like that

Texas: Please tell me it's not human skin

California: It probably is.

Georgia: For once I agree with Franklin, get the fuck out of there.

Kentucky: No way a '63 T1 Samba would've lasted that long running on it's battery.

Everyone: *stares*

Kentucky: It's a bad car.

Everyone: Oh.

Texas: Don't go towards the light!

DC: *screaming again*

Georgia: Well at least Franklin's dead

California: Ah so Sally's the final girl

New York: DON'T RUN TO THE HOUSE

DC: SALLY FUCKING RUN AND HIDE

Florida:

Florida: Y'know what this movie is FUCKED UP

Texas: I REBUKE THIS MOVIE!

Louisiana: This entire scene has just been running

Kentucky: The gas station was right there? Holy shit she should've listened to Franklin after all!

DC: Okay....okay....Sally is okay.

DC: I think the old guy might die though.

Florida: My reaction to South Carolina barbeque

South Carolina: *off screen* HEY

DC:

DC: Please let that be a blank--oh it's a....

Georgia: IS HE IN LEAGUES WITH THE CHAINSAW GUY?

California: I hate this movie. I hate this movie so much.

New York: Oh not THIS guy again

Kentucky: I fully support the hitchhiker getting beat the fuck up

DC: *softly* Why is chainsaw guy dressed like one of the old ladies from Monty Python

Texas: Oh great now the half-dead corpse gets to join in for dinner

California: THAT THING IS ALIVE?????

DC: *SCREAMING*

Georgia: It's just a movie, it's just a movie

Florida: It's like a family reunion!

DC: *is actually traumatized*

Louisiana: This is fucked up.

New York: Avvie I'm a vegan now too

California: I'd be happier if I wasn't traumatized

Kentucky: Y'know what *stands up* I'm done. *leaves*

Texas: REBUKE IT. REBUKE IT.

DC: YES FUCK THE HITCHHIKER

Georgia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DRIVE AWAY!

California: DON'T BE A FUCKING HERO

Florida: So the semi-truck driver is basically dead

DC: *SCREAMING*

Kentucky: Now look what you've done! You've freaked my boy out! *hugs*

Louisiana: Welp. I'm never eating meat again.

New York: Same here.

Massachusetts: Hey guys!

All: *screams*

Massachusetts: The (speaks in Boston) is wrong with you?