Florida: You must stay here and protect children and elderly!

DC: But there are no children and elderly here...

Florida: That's what makes it so hard, DC! That's what makes it so hard.

Gov: If you don't join me you're all fired.

Everyone: [Collective Groan]

DC: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my mother.

California: Father.

DC: Somebody!

New York: Does that ever work?

Gov: It does with people who have money!

Oregon: Say, you didn't lose the map, did you?

Colorado: Ha! What sort of half-baked state do you take me for?

Oregon: Do you really want me to answer that?

Colorado: No!

Louisiana: Look into my eyes.

Florida: I can't see your eyes, they're covered up.

Louisiana: Oh, well, pretend you can see my eyes.

Florida: *happily* Okay.

Louisiana: Look into my eyes then.

Florida: [screams like a girl]

DC: New York! Inspire us! Say something stoic!

New York: I WANNA DIE!

DC: Perfect!

Louisiana: Here, grab my ball.

California: Okay, I'm going to turn around, and that better be what I think it is.

DC: My Name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my hamster...

Washington: Father.

Massachusetts: THAT'S NOT EVEN A PERSON!

California: The needs of the many outweigh...

DC: The needs of the few?

California: Shut up I'm talking.