Chapter Three

Seo Changbin

October in Seoul is beautiful.

The air is crisp and cool as it nips on Changbin's skin. Autumn's leaves are a brilliant array of oranges, yellows and reds, and the sky is a deep azure blue.

Downtown Seoul's streets are alive with the sound of laughter as people savor the last of the warm days before winter. The scent of pumpkin spice lattes wafts in the air, as people sip them in coffee shops and cafes, accompanied by miniature pumpkin pies to solidify the mood of the season.

The crunch of leaves underfoot serves as a reminder of the changing of the season as the days get colder and the wildlife begins hibernation. The sun's rays serve as a warm embrace, with the chilling wind to offset its warmth.

Changbin loves the fall.

Autumn's the season of crimson blush, soft kisses while playing in the leaves in the morning, and late, chilly, walks while the sun sets, leaving a burst of orange and red tinges as it prepares for the world to take its rest.

Autumn's the season of warmth within innocent embraces, warm morning coffees, and even warmer smiles.

(And warm butterfly-esque feelings about his best friend, but that's neither here nor there).

Changbin's boots crush the leaves as the wind directs him in the path he's walking on, hands in his pockets as he whistles a smooth tune.

He passes by a couple of shops, most of them already being in season since August, advertising Halloween costumes and other in-season trinkets. Restaurants and bakeries advertise their new pumpkin-themed treat that they'd love for him to try on orangey-red posters that just scream 'fall spirit'.

When Changbin enters Levanter Cafe, it's exactly twelve-thirty on the dot, having anxiously thrown on anything to prevent him from running late to his 'project hangout' with Han Jisung.

And it only takes a five second scan of the customer-barren coffee shop for Changbin to realize that Jisung is running late, leaving him all by himself to awkwardly stare at the grumpy teenager behind the counter.

12:31.

Changbin texts Jisung.

Today, 12:31 PM

Changbin
Ah I'm here but I don't see you...
Are you still coming?

Five minutes pass, and Jisung hasn't even read Changbin's message. Maybe he'd fallen asleep? Either way, now Changbin's all by himself, and everyone can probably see that he's all by himself and—

Without any thought to it, Changbin is dashing into the nearest bathroom with his heart pounding so hard it could leap from his anxiety-constricted chest.

He can hardly breathe or see straight through his teary eyes, as his heart threatens to burst from his ribcage.

Changbin grips the bathroom sink tightly to ground himself. It doesn't work.

Usually, he doesn't leave the house alone, usually he has Minho there to help him navigate the world. Minho, Minho, Minho.

He needs his best friend.

Today, 12:36 PM

Changbin
Min
Please answer
Panicking

Minho💗💕💍
what's going on?
do you need me to call baby?☹️

Changbin
No
I can't talk
All by myself
Scared

Minho💗💕💍
okay, that's okay
how are you feeling?

Changbin
Dying
Need you

Minho💗💕💍
i'm here baby
i'm here
try and focus on your breathing bin
can you do that for me?

Changbin
Trying

Minho💗💕💍
need me to count for you?

Changbin
Please

Minho💗💕💍
okay breathe in
1
2
3
4
breathe out

Changbin
Did it

Minho💗💕💍
good job baby🥺😊
do you want to try again?

Changbin
Kay

Changbin takes a deep breath, counting each number slowly, following the buzz of Minho's text messages through the phone.

His heart rate slowly begins to calm, the sweat on his palms dries, and he can breathe again—the tightness in his chest freeing up.

No matter how scared he is, or how much his anxiety gets the better of him, Minho is always there to cushion his fall.

Changbin can't help but feel safe and secure in his best friend's presence, even if it's merely through text at times. Minho is Changbin's rock, his safe space, and Changbin genuinely can't imagine life without Minho.

It's impossible. A reality certainly doesn't exist.

There's a minor issue that may make their relationship cease to exist in the future, though: Changbin's undoubted, unrequited love for his best friend.

It's undeniable to say that since becoming close friends, something more-than-platonic has swelled in Changbin's heart.

A sad case of unrequited love—something Changbin is painfully aware of, even if his crush-fueled delusions tell him that maybe, just maybe, Minho will love him back.

But the truth is glaring; it's not possible. Because Minho's already given his heart to someone else...

To him.

As Changbin exits the safety of the cafe's bathroom, Han Jisung is lazily stumbling into its vicinity. At twelve forty-five. Several minutes late. Changbin could almost be upset with him.

But when they awkwardly lock eyes, Changbin gets why Minho likes him so much—he's pretty, far prettier than Changbin at least (in his opinion).

Round, pink-tinged cheeks accompanied by soft, rounded lips and wide, round eyes that appear lively even through his fatigue. And he looks good in the clear, round frames that perch atop his nose bridge. No wonder Minho likes him so much. Changbin could never pull off tangerine tinted hair or black-colored nails.

Just as Changbin is about to stiffly greet Jisung, the boy dips his head to his phone screen. Changbin's phone subsequently lights up with a text message.

Today, 12:46 PM

Han Jisung
sorry i'm late
i had to do something

Changbin
No no it's okay
I didn't wait long

Han Jisung
k
cool

Double-checking that the tears at his eyes are fully wiped from his face, Changbin makes his way toward Jisung.

The tension in the air is palpable, and all Changbin wants is for the world to swallow him whole. And Jisung isn't doing the best job in alleviating the awkward tension between them. Typical Jisung.

"So...," Changbin starts, voice wavering.

"So," Jisung parrots. He purses his lips into a line, not in a stern way per se, but in a way that's reminiscent of the awkward nature in the air.

According to Minho's stalker-ish intel, Jisung is almost as much of an introverted mess as Changbin.

So, this is going to be a long afternoon. If not for Minho's words reminding Changbin to breathe, he's certain he would've lost it by now.

"Do you want to read the verse I wrote?" Changbin asks, fingernails digging into the foamy cover of one of his many lyric notebooks (this one has a funky squiggly pattern cascading across its canvas). "I–I mean, for the last part! We don't have to—like, we don't have to use it, or anything, hah."

Jisung, who looks like he's been holding in a painfully constricting breath, sighs. "I'd... love to. That's, uh, cool. I wrote something myself."

Changbin blinks dumbly. Right, of course Jisung would also write something. It's a group project after all. No need for Changbin to feel intimidated by Jisung's lyricism that's probably leagues better than his own since he's already established that Jisung's superior to him and—

"So, uh, do you want to grab a seat?" Jisung interrupts Changbin's inner rambling with a cough.

There are stray customers busy weaving around and squeezing past where Jisung and Changbin stand idly in the entryway—a fact that only dawns upon Changbin once Jisung shuffles back for a disgruntled family to let them pass through.

"Oh, s-sure," Changbin stutters. He takes a seat next to and after Jisung, who's already laid out his own notebook of songwriting and pens on the table.

And another heart-dropping fact dawns upon Changbin:

Han Jisung is about to read his lyrics. The same person who his best friend has spoken so highly of, you'd think he's a literal god.

Changbin gulps, throat dry and palms sweaty as he hands his notebook to Jisung. Jisung plucks it from Changbin's hands with a gentle, almost delicate touch, as if he can sense Changbin's fear and does his best to alleviate it.

Jisung's fingers get lost in his hoodie sleeves when he slides his own notebook to Changbin's side of the table, and Changbin can't help but find the gesture adorable.

Cute. Jisung is so cute but he's also Minho's hallway crush of months now, so Changbin definitely shouldn't be having these thoughts about him and—

"Changbin," Jisung calls, voice soft and... unsure? "Would you mind... getting me a coffee? Iced Americano, I can give you the money."

"I...," Changbin wants to say no. But as Jisung is fishing in his pockets for the couple thousand won it costs for a cup of coffee, the word 'no' can't find its way out of his mouth.

"O–of course," Changbin squeaks out. He wants to die.

Jisung smiles, relieved and grateful, as he hands Changbin the money. Around fifteen thousand won. "Thank you. Get yourself something, too."

"Mhm."

Changbin stands up, heart pounding in his chest, and makes his way to the counter.

He's never been so aware of his own footsteps as they echo off the floor of the café, and he's never been more aware of the incessant heat radiating off his cheeks.

He's never been so aware of the presence of the café's typical customers, and the invasive feeling of their eyes burning holes into his body.

As soon as Changbin has posted the tweet, he's scrambling to delete it.

He may not have many followers on Twitter, but he doesn't need any potential viewers thinking he's useless and can't speak to baristas at cafés.

Changbin sighs, delighted when the 'This Tweet Has Been Deleted' message pops up under his tweet within a minute of it being posted online.

But, an incoming text from Minho indicates that at least one person has seen it.

Today, 1:06 PM

Minho💍💗💕
bin, i saw your tweet
is everything okay?☹️

Changbin
I'm so inconvenient 😢
I can't even order Jisung a drink
I can't talk to the people at the counter

Minho💍💗💕
you're not useless!☹️
remember you can order online if you're feeling anxious😊and you're with jisung?!?!?!?!!?!?

Changbin
Okay, I'm ordering online 🥲
And yes, we have a group project

Minho💍💗💕
*group project* and it's just YOU two?🤨
and you're getting him drinks??!
sounds like a date to me😊🤷

Changbin
Hyung...It's not like that!
I know you're in love with him.
It's NOT a date.😗

Minho💍💗💕
inlovewithhim??😀imnotinlovewithhim❌❌❌
me?no!😂😂😂😂
anyway this isn't about me
go order his stupid drink online and text me later😊

Changbin
...You're running away from this conversation🤔
But I should go
Ttyl💗

Minho💍💗💕
Ttyl💕
Love you!😚😚

Changbin can't lie. Minho's hopeless crush on Jisung pains his heart every time it's the focus of conversation.

It's like his heartstrings strain at all angles possible, reaching out for not-so platonic love that isn't reciprocated.

author's note:

hi! thank you for reading! it's currently 1:20 AM where
i live right now and i just came back from a sweet 17
so i'm BEAT! please go easy on the spelling mistakes😩

as always, let me know your thoughts! if anything is
confusing, ask questions!😁⁉️