CHAPTER SIX:

I woke indecently early on October 6th, the morning of my wedding, with tears drying on my cheeks and the faces of my dead burnt into the backs of my eyes.

We all had bad nights and bad days. Sometimes it was as if every time I closed my eyes I could see Sue's lifeless face and the smell of smoke and blood overwhelmed me. I strongly suspected that I'd have trouble sleeping tonight for the rest of my life, that my friend's death would never stop haunting me, nor the war she'd fallen in.

Unable to get back to sleep, I lay shivering and gasping in my warm bed for several minutes. The sky outside my window turned gray and then pale pink while I waited for my heart to slow. I thought about staying in bed but couldn't and ended up getting up and dressed and heading down to the kitchen long before I needed to.

First I cleaned the already tidy rooms, and then when Charlie was up I made him pancakes. I was much too keyed up to have any interest in eating breakfast myself– I sat practically bouncing in my seat while he ate.

The sudden brisk tapping on the front door made me cringe and Charlie gave me a look of sympathy– we were both fully aware that these next several hours with Alice were going to be utter hell for me. I ducked in to kiss the top of his head as I passed– he blushed and harrumphed– and then continued on to get the door for my soon-to-be sister.

Alice's short black hair was not in its usual spiky do– it was smoothed into sleek pin curls around her pixie face, which wore a contrastingly businesslike expression. She dragged me from the house with barely a "Hey, Charlie" called over her shoulder.

Alice appraised me as I got into her car. "Oh, hell, look at your eyes!" She tsked in reproach. "What did you do? Stay up all night?"

"Almost." I admitted.

She glowered. "I've only allotted so much time to make you stunning, Bella– you might have taken better care of my raw material."

"No one expects me to be stunning. I think the bigger problem is that I might fall asleep during the ceremony and not be able to say 'I do' at the right part, and then Edward will make his escape."

She laughed.

"I'll throw my bouquet at you when it gets close."

"Cheers."

I fiddled idly with the car radio and my wand until I managed to find and tap into the Wizarding Wireless Network and the dulcet tones of Celestina Warbeck filled the car, much to Alice's horror and she practically doubled the speed limit in her attempt to get out of the car as soon as she could.

"Well," I said with a cringe as we turned into her driveway at the same rough speed as a racing car, "I see you got to reuse your graduation decorations." The three miles of drive were once again wrapped in hundreds of thousands of twinkle lights. This time, though, she'd added white satin bows, because of course.

"Waste not, want not. Enjoy this, because you don't get to see the inside decorations until it's time." Alice pulled into the cavernous garage north of the main house and killed the engine with a degree of haste, cutting off Celestina through her second verse of "Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love".

"Since when is the bride not allowed to see the decorations?" I protested.

"Since she put me in charge. I want you to get the full impact coming in for the reception." She clapped her hand over my eyes before she let me inside the kitchen. I was immediately assailed by the scent.

"What is that?" I wondered as she guided me into the house.

"Is it too much?" Alice's voice was abruptly worried.

"It smells wonderful!" I assured her– almost intoxicating, but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless. "Orange blossoms and roses... lilac... and something else– am I right?"

"Very good, Bella. You only missed the freesia."

She didn't uncover my eyes until we were in her oversized bathroom. I stared at the long counter, covered in all the paraphernalia of a beauty salon, and began to feel my sleepless night.

"Is this really necessary? I'm going to look plain next to him no matter what."

She pushed me down into a low pink chair. "No one will dare to call you plain when I'm through with you."

"Only because they're afraid you'll go psycho Cornish pixie on them," I muttered. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes, hoping I'd be able to nap through it. I did drift in and out a little bit while she masked, buffed, and polished every surface of my body.

It was after lunchtime when Rosalie glided past the bathroom door already dressed and ready. The stunning vampire was wearing a sleeveless formal dress that looked elegant and conservative and complimented her golden hair– parted, wavy, and perfect. She was so beautiful it made me want to cry. What was even the point of dressing up with Rosalie around?

"Our boys are back," Rosalie said, and immediately my childish fit of despair passed. Edward was home.

"Keep Edward out of here!"

Right. Bugger– forgot that for a moment.

"He won't cross you today," Rosalie reassured a threatening Alice. "He values his life too much. Esme's got them finishing things up out back. Do you want some help? I could do your hair, Bella."

My jaw threatened to fall open– I had never been Rosalie's favorite person in the world, and although we got along a lot better now, I hadn't exactly expected this offer. Still, I turned to Alice– she was the boss of, well, everything today, including me.

"Sure," she said easily. "You can start curling. The veil goes here, underneath." Her hands started combing through my hair, hefting it, twisting it, illustrating in detail what she wanted. When she was done, Rosalie's hands replaced hers, shaping my hair with a feather-light touch. Alice moved back to my face.

Once Rosalie received Alice's commendation on my hair, she was sent off to retrieve my dress and then to make sure the boys passed inspection. Eventually Alice too finished, and she pushed a mirror in my face before I could protest that I didn't want to see.

While my make-up was mostly natural with the exception of the shimmering eyeshadow and glossy pink lips, Alice had gone with a 'pearls and curls' theme for my hair and jewelry. I was wearing classic pearl drop earrings and, although low bridal buns were more traditional, after being curled in soft tendrils my hair been pinned up from my nape to my crown in an elegant chignon with a veil attached underneath it and a few layers of curls left loose to balance the draped tulle.

"Wow," I admitted and Alice smiled like a highly satisfied cat then made me stand so that she could ease the dress over my hair and makeup.

As I stood mostly naked, I looked down at my body, at the marks, the discolored skin, the scars that marred my arms, my body, like a series of interlocking links in a chain, tying me to my past, and came to a startling realisation: I wasn't ashamed of them. Sure, they weren't what you could call 'attractive', and yes, sometimes they hurt, sharp pain lacing under my skin like something was trying to do embroidery with my nerves, but I would carry them with pride, for the rest of my life, because they meant one very important thing– I fucking survived. 

Of course, that new revelation didn't change the fact that my knees shook so badly as Alice fastened the long line of pearl buttons up my back that the satin quivered in little wavelets down to the floor.

"Deep breaths, Bella," my soon-to-be sister said. "And try to lower your heart rate. You're going to sweat off your new face."

I gave her the best sarcastic expression I could manage. "I'll get right on that."

"I have to get dressed now. Can you hold yourself together for two minutes?"

"Um... maybe?"

She rolled her eyes and darted out the door.

I concentrated on my breathing, counting each movement of my lungs, and stared at the patterns that the bathroom light made on the fabric of my skirt. I was afraid to look in the mirror– afraid the image of myself in the wedding dress would send me over the edge into a full-scale panic attack.

But before Alice was back, someone else walked into the room. I gasped softly. "Luna, you look– you look breathtaking," I told her. Luna beamed at me, lifting her pale arms up and spinning, causing the skirts of her dress to twirl. She was wearing a pale yellow shimmery wrap over a sort of ballerina tutu-styled dress– the satiny yellow 'leotard' was decorated with hand cut-and-pressed silk blossoms in rose-pink, forget-me-not blue, zinnia-orange and lavender and the floaty skirt reached down past her knees in layers of silk, chiffon and gauze, all in different shades of green. Green ballet slippers embroidered with yellow sunflowers, the green ribbons tied in pretty satin bows up to her mid-calf and her pale-blonde hair was held up in two buns, with what appeared to be a real sunflower pinned behind her left ear.

"Thank you," she said, happily. Before I could say anything else Alice was back, looking gorgeous in a dress that was orange and swishy, the color of zinnias. With her dark curls framing her face sweetly, she looked delicate and perfect.  

"You are stunning." I told her, honestly.

"It's nothing. No one will be looking at me today. Not while you're in the room." She dismissed.

"Har har."

There was a quiet knock on the door. "Come in Charlie!" Alice called and I widened my eyes as my dad shuffled through the doorway.

"Oh," I said. "Aw. Dad. Don't you look–"

"Silly?" Charlie interrupted.

"I was thinking more like debonair." Charlie blushed. Alice took his elbow and tugged him around into a slow spin to showcase the pale gray tux.

"Now cut that out, Alice. I look like an idiot."

"No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot." Alice said, with utmost confidence and severity.

"She's right, Dad. You look fabulous," I reassured him. "Merlin, everyone looks so amazing!"

"You look right like you stepped out of one of those Jane Austen movies of yours, Bells," Charlie said, fondness and pride clear on his face as he looked across at me. I went bright red and he laughed before rummaging in his pockets for a minute and then producing a red envelope from which he pulled out a small red box. He lifted the lid and held it out towards me. "Something blue. Something old, too– they used to be your Grandma Swan's. Qiang helped me get a jeweler to replace the paste stones."

Inside the box were two heavy silver hair combs. Dark blue sapphires and ivory pearls were clustered into intricate floral shapes atop the teeth.

My throat got all thick. "Dad... you shouldn't have."

"It was Qiang too," Charlie said, obviously embarrassed.

Alice stepped up and quickly slid both combs into my hair so they were helping hold the chignon in place, though they were mostly hidden by the veil. "That's something old and something blue," she mused, taking a few steps back to admire me. "Something new, here–" she flicked something at me. I held my hands out automatically, and the white garter landed in my palms. Made of pale ivory satin, trimmed with delicate lace and embellished with tiny pearl and crystal appliqué, despite the real vintage-charm of the garter I didn't doubt for a moment it was designer. 

"Thank you," I told Alice. "Uh, there's one other one, isn't there?" I tried to think. "Something old, something new, something, um... borrowed, that's it– something borrowed and something blue. I just need something borrowed now. Unless all this make-up counts."

"It most certainly does not," Alice said, looking indignant, before turning to Luna who smiled.

"Close your eyes," she said and I did as she bid. I could feel her slide something onto my head, could feel Alice's small, cold fingers help her adjust it, and when she bade me to open my eyes I looked in the mirror at her 'something borrowed' in amazement. A small, delicate-looking unicorn horn, about five inches long, had been attached to a dainty silver circlet. The circlet sat in such a way that the pearly-white spiralled horn was held to my forehead by an elegant silver filigree base and a teardrop-shaped crystal (or diamond, I honestly wasn't sure) fell delicately from the center of the filigree.

"It was my mother's," Luna said, softly, and I had to blink back tears.

"Thank you, Luna," I choked and Luna produced a silk handkerchief from Merlin knows where and delicately dabbed at the corner of my eyes for me.

"You're so beautiful," she said, which just made the tears start up again. 

"You're perfect." Agreed Alice. "Unusual," she added, smiling as her eyes flicked towards the unicorn horn, "but perfect."

With a little self-congratulatory smile, she turned to my father. "Charlie, would you grab the flowers, please?"

While Charlie was out of the room, Alice hooked the garter out of my hands and then ducked under my skirt. I gasped and tottered as her cold hand caught my ankle; she yanked the garter into place.

She was back on her feet before Charlie returned with the two frothy white bouquets. The scent of roses and orange blossom and freesia enveloped me in a soft mist.

"The carriage is here," Alice said, her golden eyes practically shining. I blinked.

"Wait, what?"

My fears were confirmed when Alice (after making me close my eyes to walk through the house– it was a good thing she hadn't made me put on the high heels yet) opened the front doors to reveal a traditional white-and-gold carriage drawn by two pure white stallions. They were beautiful creatures, with long glossy manes and tails, large but refined heads, long necks and long, sloping shoulders. They looked utterly magnificent and majestic.

And I was allergic to horses. Really, really allergic.

"What?" Alice looked like I'd just told her I'd been diagnosed with brain cancer and I was honestly afraid to repeat it to her.

"I'm allergic to horse hair," I said, stepping back behind Luna when one of the horses swung its head to look at me– Charlie had done his mounted police training when I was younger and it had nearly killed me; I'd suffered two massive anaphylactic shocks before we figured out it was the horse hair that was causing the problem.

Alice looked like she was moments away from a panic attack and now I was starting to feel panicked again.

"Bubble-head charm," Luna said, suddenly, before both of us could descend into hysterics. "We'll just use a bubble-head charm for Bella."

I was skeptical (read afraid) of the effectiveness of the bubble-head charm in treating my allergy, but after it was applied and Luna thoroughly cleaned the parts of the carriage I'd be touching with magic– the poor muggle driver was given no explanation, just ordered to look away by Alice, and the truly terrifying glare she'd given him was very persuasive in convincing to keep looking away– I hesitantly climbed aboard and when I didn't start to swell up or have trouble breathing concluded that it had worked.  

And with that potential disaster dealt with, the driver ("he's the coachman, Bella") lightly cracked his whip in the air and we were off.

A/N: I am most certainly NOT an artist by any means at all, but this is vaguely what I pictured Luna's maid of honour dress looking like: