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~ Day Dreams ~
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~ Chapter Thirty Five ~
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~ Lullaby ~
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~ Eighteen-Years-Old ~
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~ Hazel's POV ~
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After a long night of sleepless dreams and full of night sweats, taking a brisk shower was necessary in order to calm my nerves. In the early morning with the rising sun beaming through the window, I pace in a towel around on the wooden floorboards pondering how to confront Fiona...

The thought of seeing Fiona causes anxiety to spiral out of control throughout my entire body. It is as if a back-hole forms in the pit of my chest, causing it to feel heavy as bruises form on the inside of my stomach. What do I say to Fiona? Will I be allowed to visit her? Am I even ready to see her...? My foster family told me she was in a mental institution and there is only one nearby. I need comfort in order to move on with my life and escape the haunting ghost of my past. However, the thought of seeing Fiona causes pins and needles to form in my legs and arms.

I shake the uneasy feelings out of my body as I proceed to get ready for a productive day ahead of me. Dressing in casual clothes, I put my apricot hair in a messy bun with a lace bow around the hair tie, and slip my feet into Converse shoes.

It is a little bit weird to be Hazel again. But there is one reason why I am - Jake. But he thinks I am gone anyway so what is the point in trying? But I cannot pretend to be someone I am not anymore.

Glancing out the window again as I push back the curtains, revealing the sun fully visible in the clear sky. In one motion, I shut the curtains and grab my leather brown backpack already packed for the day. I scramble down the wooden stairs, Forest following closely behind.

Entering the small living and dining room, and further towards an attached small kitchen, the rich aroma of roasted coffee flows throughout the entirety of the house. Pouring a cup of coffee, my slender hands grasp onto the thickness of the hot, glass mug. Sipping on the liquid as it warms my insides, my eyes spy a small sticky note on the fridge. I'm at the doctor's with Gus. Won't be home till later. Love Em. xx

The thought of going alone to visit Fiona sends shivers throughout my body and creates knots in my stomach. The plan was to go alone but I, the coward that I am, was going to ask Emma if she could come along. But I have to show up, if not for me, for Jake. I need to go for my happiness and move on and be a better me without any more lies dragging me down.

Placing the warm, empty mug in the kitchen, metal sink I cradle  Forest and then feed her, as she purrs while she eats. Departing from the house and into my Volkswagen car, I venture into the unknown ahead of me in search of answers.

*    *    *

I arrived at the mental hospital after a two hour journey. What should have been a half hour drive was lengthened by pulling over continuously to have a panic attack, then an attempt to calm my nerves.

I finally park the car for the final time as I build up the courage and swallow my pride and continue to breathe heavy breaths. Closing my eyes for a couple of minutes as the only thing that can be heard in the dead of the car is my shaking breathing. Cutting the motor and shutting the car door behind me, I begin to pace shaky legs towards the front entrance of the building.

The large building is composed of rusty red bricks, black, pointed iron fences around the premises and upon the entrance. A large, opened, pointed iron gate intimidates me, as crows squawk above. The gravel beneath my shoes crunch as I scramble past the gate doors, just in case it closes before I make it inside the ghost town of an abandoned courtyard. I reach white, heavy double doors and push them open as cold aircon drafting throughout the building greets me. Still breathing heavy and swallowing hard, I creep towards the front desk as my heartbeat quickens.

"Can I help you?" a woman said in a dull, monotone voice.

Glancing at my shoes, then my hands, then above the lady's head because I cannot seem to meet her gaze. "I umm.. is there a Fiona Summers here?"

"Let me check," the woman runs her finger down the computer screen then disconnects her eyes from the screen to my face. "No sorry, there is only a Fiona Jane."

Why does the name 'Jane' ring a bell? That may have been her last name before she married my father and if so, I must have heard it once before when I was young. "I think that's the right person," I said, unsure of myself.

"Sorry to hear about what happened with Fiona," the woman said with a dull voice but with sympathy in her eyes.

"Sorry, what happened?" I gulp a lump down my throat.

"That Fiona was widowed. After her husband passed she stopped trying to struggle. So, she is a little better with taking her medication, but I would advise you to keep your distance because she can get aggressive," she said with a nod.

"O-okay," I whisper, knowing now that she was the right person.

The woman gets up from her seat and walks around the desk, "I'll show you to her room," she leads the way through the large halls of the mental institute as she begins to talk. "Mind you, Fiona hasn't had any visitors as of yet and she's been here for years so it might be a shock to her to have a visitor."

I nod my head and tilt my head to the ceiling, not knowing what to say in response to her comment. Ceiling lights flicker above down the narrow corridor as it cascades a dim hollow glow.

"What about Fiona's family? Do they not visit?" I ask, glancing at the lady.

"No, Fiona has no family members on record, except her husband and her deceased daughter. Sorry, can I ask, are you family?" the lady said, glancing ahead of herself, still leading me towards Fiona's room.

"Uh–no, I'm just an old friend of hers," as soon as I said it I felt bad for lying but I'm here for a reason and one reason only — answers... and not to go down memory lane with a stranger.

The entire floor of tiles makes the inside of the building feel icy cold. Sounds of screaming of complaint and yelling of refusal radiate through the thin plaster of the walls. The office lady leads me down another narrow hallway with painted white walls as we halt at the end of the corridor. Behind the other side of the double doors is soundless so I have no idea what to expect with my encounter with Fiona.

Will Fiona be calm and collected or will she attack me as soon as she lays those eyes onto me that haunt me in my nightmares?

I take in a deep, shaky breath and prepare myself for what might happen. The woman moves aside and pushes open the doors, squeaking ajar as my vision blurs from the sunlight cascading through the doors. My breath hitches in my throat and my stomach falls to the pit of hellfire.

The small of my hands turn into fists, knuckles turning white from the pressure as I begin sweating and panting. I cannot breathe! Am I having a panic attack? What have I done? What am I doing? This was a mistake! I feel lightheaded for what I am about to witness...

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Please, tell me in the comments what you thought about Chapter Thirty Five? 🙈 I'll be greatly appreciated, thank you, you very kind soul!
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~ Chapter Thirty Five ~
~ Dedications ~
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HeliiBoh
DebMorey
PeterPetruzzella
CaitlinWoodward9
DaniJones_14
ChloeMayerhofer
savvvy1998
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You guys should totally check out PeterPetruzzella short story! Lighthouse. It's amazing!
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You guys should totally check out ChloeMayerhofer story! Fallen! It's awesome!
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C.Morey 🥕 xoxo
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